


Finding My Echo

by dvg



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-04
Updated: 2020-09-11
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:28:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 52,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25715062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dvg/pseuds/dvg
Summary: Robron AURobert is a single dad with a five-year-old daughter.Aaron is a best-selling novelist returning home to Emmerdale after six years to finish his latest book and to get away from the press and media.But Robert and Aaron share a past that is slowly revealed as they begin to fall for each other after six years apart. Not just Robert, but his daughter is falling for Aaron, too.Can they find a way to make things work with Aaron's busy career and the attention he brings? And can Robert finally let himself love again after his messy divorce?
Relationships: Aaron Dingle/Robert Sugden
Comments: 92
Kudos: 360





	1. Chapter 1

Robert looked at the two framed photographs of a little blond haired, blue eyed girl that were front and centre on his sleek and shiny desk. The rest of his desk was covered in files, paperwork and a phone. 

Aubree Grace Sugden was the spitting image of her father, and there was no one or anything in the world he loved more than his little girl.

Maybe he’d been upset when Chrissie first told him she was pregnant, maybe he’d been afraid – just for a minute – what it would mean for the lifestyle that they had both become accustomed to. They were newly married – they had barely been back from their honeymoon in Bora Bora when she’d broken the news to him.

_**Flashback - July 2014** _

He had set the table for the two of them, he had lit candles. There was a bottle of wine chilling.

But Chrissie wasn’t smiling when she walked in the door after a long day at the office.

“Chrissie, what’s wrong?”

She avoided his kiss and slumped onto the sofa, slipping off her expensive red pumps. “I’m -----“ she trailed off and put a hand to her spinning head and saw the concern in his eyes.

Her skin was clammy under his hand. “You’re like ice, pale as a ghost. Damn it, Chrissie, take it easy. Let me call a doctor.”

“No, there’s no need.” Carefully she pushed herself up. “I’m all right.”

“The hell you are.” Her skin was clammy under his hand. “You’re like ice, and pale as a ghost. Damn it, Chrssie, why didn’t you tell me you weren’t feeling well? I’ll take you to the hospital.”

“I don’t need the hospital or a doctor.” She fought back the hysteria and forced herself to speak. “I’m not sick, Robert. I’m pregnant.”

“What?” It was the best he could do; he sank back onto the sofa and stared at her. “What did you say?”

She wanted to be strong, but he looked as though she had hit him with a blunt instrument. “I’m pregnant,” she repeated, then made a helpless gesture. “I’m sorry.”

He only shook his head, waiting for it to sink in. “Are you sure?”

“Yes. I took a test. I suspected for a couple of weeks, but…”

“Suspected.” His hand curled into a fist on the cushion. She didn’t look furious; she looked destroyed. “And you didn’t mention it.”

“I saw no need until I knew for sure. I didn’t want to upset you.”

“I see. Is that what you are, Chrissie? Upset?”

“What I am is pregnant,” she said briskly. “I’m going away for a few days.” Though she still felt shaky, she managed to stand.

“Away?” Confused, afraid she would faint again, furious, he caught her. “Now just a damn minute. You come home, tell me you’re pregnant, and now you’re telling me you’re leaving again?” He felt something sharp punch into his gut. Its name was fear. “Where?”

“Dad has a place down in London.” She heard her own voice, snappish and rude, and pressed a hand to her head. “I’m sorry, I’m not handling this well. I need some time. I need to get away.”

“Was this your dad’s brilliant idea?” Lawrence had never been fond of Robert, and Robert could imagine the old man’s reaction when he heard the news. He was probably more than willing to set his daughter up in a flat far away from him.

“What you need to do is sit down so we can talk about this,” he said.

“I can’t talk about it. Not yet. Not until I….”

“You’re not going anywhere.” He grabbed her arm to pull her back. “And you damn well will talk about it. What the hell am I supposed to say? Great news Chrissie, see you when you get back?”

When her voice rose this time, she couldn’t control it. “I didn’t want this! I didn’t want your child inside of me.”

“Clear enough.” His grip tightened, and he let his own temper free. “That’s crystal clear. But you do have my child inside of you, and you’re my wife. We’ve talked about this, we both wanted a family. I don’t understand the sudden change of heart.”

_**End of Flashback** _

That night should have been his first clue that their relationship was doomed, Robert thought as he rubbed his aching temples. Aubree was five now, and Chrissie had been gone nearly four years. He could forgive her for walking out on him, for ending their marriage, but he would never forgive her for abandoning their daughter.

And this morning Aubree had asked about her mommy again. He was running out of ways to change the subject. She was growing up before his eyes and he knew that the day was coming that he would have to be honest with her and tell her the truth about her mother. He was dreading that day, and it was making him edgy and withdrawn.

“What’s going on, Rob? You won’t talk to me and I can tell that you’re upset. Is something wrong with Aubree?”

“She asked about Chrissie again over breakfast this morning.” Robert sighed. “I don’t know what to tell her.”

“It’s not your fault Chrissie left, Rob. She’s the one that deserted her family. I know it’s hard, but Aubree needs to know that it was Chrissie that broke up her family, not you. She’s old enough to try to understand.”

“You don’t know, you can’t know, how much this hurts.”

“No, but I can see it.” Vic pulled him into her arms. “You have family that loves you and loves her. I know it’s not the same, but she’ll always have me and Adam and this one.” Vic rubbed her growing belly affectionately.

His mind was too cluttered, and he knew he was stalling. He glanced over to his desk and the photograph of him and his little girl, taken at her last birthday. “It’s going to break her heart.”

Vic busied herself boiling the kettle and brought over two cups, setting his on the desk.

Robert managed a small smile as he picked up the cup. “Thanks.”

She put a hand over his, rubbing lightly. “I haven’t asked many questions because I know talking about Chrissie is still hard for you. I know she hurt you.”

“She left me for another man, what’s to talk about?”

Vic leaned over and cupped his chin in her hand. “And that wasn’t your fault.”

“I wasn’t a very good husband,” Robert said. Could he tell her the truth, the whole truth behind their sham of a marriage? Would he ever be able to tell anyone without risking being shamed, judged?

How could he ever tell anyone he had been in love with a man when he’d proposed to Chrissie all those years ago? That he had only done it to prove to himself that what he had suspected about himself was a lie?

For a brief time they had been happy, hadn’t they? Their marriage had barely survived the first year of marriage and Chrissie’s pregnancy. It had only gotten worse after Aubree was born. He was convinced now that Aubree was the only reason it had lasted that long.

He had wanted desperately to give Aubree a loving and stable home – but by the time Aubree was three months old, Chrissie was already sleeping with someone else – and making plans to file for divorce.

She’d served the papers on him the day after he got back from a week long business trip in London. She claimed her infidelity was his fault, that his lifestyle and all the hours he spent at the office made her feel unattractive and unlovable, so she’d been forced to find attention elsewhere. 

“I forgot what I came to see you,” Vic said, breaking Robert out of his thoughts.

“Oh? And here I thought you came here because you missed seeing my lovely face.”

“Dream on,” Vic said, rolling her eyes. “It’s about Aaron.”

Aaron Dingle. The man who had at one time been Robert’s best mate, but also the bloke he’d snuck into barns with and shared stolen moments with in the backseat of his car.

Aaron Dingle who had left Emmerdale after his engagement to Chrissie went public, the day after Robert had broken things off with him, claiming whatever had happened between them had been a mistake.

_You're a mistake. I don't love you, I don't want you. Just go. I'm marrying Chrissie. You and I are through._

“What about him?” Robert said, hoping he didn't sound interested in the slightest. No one knew about their secret relationship, or how badly things had ended between them, or how bitter Aaron had been towards him at the end.

Not that Robert blamed him. His head had been so messed up back then. He had tried so hard to push Aaron away because he knew if he admitted how he really felt what it would mean. His future, his status, would all be gone, and he couldn't let that happen.

“He’s back. Chas told me he’s come back home to finish his book. Apparently some big movie producer has bought the film rights to his first book and they’re developing it into a movie. How exciting, eh?”

Aaron Dingle, once just a grumpy mechanic was now a best selling novelist with three bestsellers and now a movie in the works.

He didn’t care, Robert told himself, or at least he tried to convince himself that he didn’t.

But he did. He still did even after six years.


	2. Chapter 2

After six years, Aaron Dingle was back in Emmerdale and he still wasn't sure how he felt about it.

He could still remember the day he’d left. His mum had been crying, begging him to stay. Even as he tried to convince her - and himself - that he needed to go if he wanted a real shot at making something of himself - that he would only be stuck in a dead end job at the garage if he stayed, knowing that would be enough for her to relent and let him go. After all, he knew she only wanted him to be happy. And he just wasn't happy here. Not anymore.

She didn't need to know the other reason he was desperate to leave.

Paddy had laughed, telling her that it was time to let her baby fly. Aaron, for once, was grateful for Paddy's interference.

He had already made up his mind, and nothing was going to change it. It wasn’t just about going to a big city and spreading his wings. He’d been looking for more – freedom from family expectations, from his own restlessness. He couldn’t spend the rest of his life working for his uncle in a garage. His life had been going nowhere, and if he didn’t leave now, he never would and he would regret it every day of his life.

So Aaron had left Emmerdale behind and moved to London. He rented a tiny one bedroom flat and got a job at a local coffee shop working the early morning shift, and spent his nights holed up in his flat writing on his laptop at the tiny little table in his kitchen that he'd found at a flea market.

It took him nine months for him to write his first book, and three months of rejection after rejection until he finally got the call that would change the rest of his life.

He got thrown into the fast paced world of being a published author. Between the advance from his publisher and royalties that continued to roll in, it didn't take long until Aaron was rolling in money. He didn't live lavishly in any means, though he did upgrade to a bigger flat in the heart of London.

He attended parties, book awards, conventions, because it was expected of him and because he knew it would help further his career, not because he wanted to go. He wasn't made for rubbing elbows with the rich and famous, but suddenly that was the world he was thrown into. Might as well enjoy it, he thought, and soon he found himself almost enjoying the limelight and everything it brought with it.

And his love life, well that started to get wild, too. He enjoyed being single, and with his new found notoriety, Aaron found himself named as one of the countries most eligible bachelors. Every man wanted to date him, and every woman wished they could turn his head and resenting the fact that they never would.

He was often referred to as "drop dead gorgeous", which made Aaron laugh. He definitely wouldn't use "gorgeous" as a word to describe himself. Grumpy, maybe. Even tempermental. Not gorgeous or fascinating, as he was often called in magazine articles and interviews.

But the label he'd been given had its drawbacks. Case in point: Dale Zimmerman.

Dale had a smooth, handsome face, winning crinkles at the corner of his light blue eyes and sun-bleached hair that curled riotously. He had a reputation, which he blatantly promoted, of being a marvelous lover.

What had begun a year ago as an ardent pursual on Dale’s part had turned into a brief love affair that had left Aaron falling hard for the up and coming director. But it turned out that Dale had a wife at home and was only using Aaron to further his career. After all, Aaron was a best selling writer and just signed a contract to have his first book adapted into a feature film.

Aaron couldn't figure out how he had been so stupid, how he had let himself believe all of Dale's lies. This wasn't the first time, Aaron had reminded himself, which only made him feel more gullible. 

His mind wandered back to Robert and Aaron had cursed himself.

The way Aaron saw it, he was a sucker for blond hair and piercing eyes.

Yeah, that had to be it.

But Aaron hadn’t been the only one Dale was screwing. Aaron found out that little tidbit of information through Dale's wife, who caught them in bed together during a weekend she was supposed to be out of town for business. Yeah, that hadn't ended well. Embarrassed and humiliated, Aaron left, with his pride tailing behind him, and threw himself back into writing.

But the affair had been all over the papers. He needed an escape, a place of refuge, if he was ever going to finish this book. And he only had four weeks to do it.

His management team had recommended Aaron find somewhere quiet to write, away from London and all the press who constantly made a nuisance of themselves in front of his flat, hounding him for a picture or an interview. Yeah, that part of fame he wasn't a fan of.

So now he was back in the place he had spent most of his life before he made a name for himself. A quiet village, no interruptions – unless you counted his mother – a pub nearby owned by his mum that he could walk into at the end of a long day at his laptop and have a pint without being fawned over or hounded for an autograph or an interview was just what he needed.

This was only temporary, Aaron told himself as he pulled his silver Jag into the driveway of the flat he’d rented on the outskirts of the village. He would stay until his book was done then he would go back to his old life, maybe meet somebody new if he ever got the time.

Paddy was already inside filling the shelves with food and necessities and dusting off surfaces in the main living room. “Aaron!” he said and enveloped Aaron into a hug.

“It’s so good to see you.” Aaron hugged him back. Paddy had always been like a dad to him, and now he and his mum were engaged. He was, and always had been, family.

“I heard about you and Dale Zimmerman.”

Aaron’s eyes narrowed. “Anybody ever tell you to mind you read too many gossip magazines?”

“It’s not true then?”

“Of course it’s true,” Aaron snapped. “But you still shouldn’t believe everything you read.”

Sensing that this was a subject that was off-limits, Paddy changed course. "I know someone else who will made up to see you. Robert."

At the mention of his name, Aaron froze. "He's back?"

"Been back in the village for a few years now," Paddy said. "You were best mates, I thought he would have mentioned it."

"We haven't talked in six years," Aaron said.

"Oh," Paddy said. "I didn't know that."

Aaron shrugged and played it off. "It's not like we were attached at the hip or anything."

"He's got a daughter now," Paddy said. "Aubree. She's nearly five."

"A daughter?"

"Yeah." Paddy didn't elaborate, and Aaron was grateful for it. "Look, I'm sure you're tired after your flight and the drive from the airport. I'll leave you to it. See you later, yeah?"

After Aaron shut the door behind Paddy, he leaned against it and sank to the floor.

He still couldn't believe it.

Robert had a daughter?

* * *

After unpacking his bags, Aaron pulled on his signature black hoody and walked through the village, trying to shake the thoughts going through his head. Robert was back in Emmerdale and he knew at some point they were bound to run into each other.

Fate apparently decided that time was now.

If he had known, he probably would have stayed far away from Emmerdale.

Maybe.

As Aaron walked to the cafe, he saw the last thing he ever expected to see. Pushing a little girl in a swing in the park, was Robert Sugden. 

When Aaron had left Emmerdale, Robert had been engaged to Chrissie White. Now he had a daughter. Life was funny, Aaron thought. 

Were they married now? Aaron wondered. Were they happy? Did Robert even remember what they had meant to each other that last year before Aaron ran off to London?

He certainly did.

How could he ever forget when it was engraved in his memory? Every kiss, every touch.

There was so much Robert hadn’t told him, and it still bothered him. They had been mates once, Aaron thought, but that had been a lifetime ago, a different time in his life. He had changed, they both had. They weren’t the same two blokes who snuck into barns and the back of cars to neck. Robert, who had been so confused about his sexuality, and Aaron, already knowing he was gay, had known how he felt after their first kiss. But their relationship had ended almost as quickly as it had started. Then Aaron had moved to London when Robert announced he and Chrissie were engaged, and after that he just tried hard not to think about Robert because it hurt too much.

Aaron turned away before Robert could notice him staring and headed the opposite direction to take the long way to the café.

His waitress, Matilda according to her silver name tag, poured him a cup of coffee, strong and black.

He clutched the cup in both hands. “Thanks.”

“You’re Aaron Dingle, right?”

“Yeah.”

“I heard you were coming back. It’s all around the village about your movie. It’s so exciting.”

Being recognized was still something he was getting used to. It still gave Aaron an uneasy feeling. He didn't want or crave the attention fame brought, but he knew it was part of what he signed up for when his first book got published.

"Thanks," he said, trying to be polite.

He sat and drank his coffee before he found himself walking towards a familiar barn on a vacant piece of land, a half-eaten bagel in one hand, his laptop bag slung over his shoulder.

He needed to be alone. To think.

It had always been easier just to lie, to pretend he was fine. For a little while it even worked on himself, until memories flashed and reminded him again that no matter how much money he had now or how much fame he'd achieved, he would never be enough.

Robert hadn't wanted him all those years ago because he didn’t have money or status. And he wasn’t Chrissie.

Now he had money and status, two of the things that had mattered most to the Robert he used to know, but he still felt empty. Why did he still let Robert affect him when they hadn't seen each other in six years? He'd grown up a lot since then, Aaron reminded himself. Maybe Robert had too.

Robert had a child, but there was no ring on his finger from what Aaron had seen. Had he knocked some poor girl up, had another illicit affair behind Chrissie's back that had resulted in a child?

Shutting his eyes, he willed himself to think about something else. Anything else that didn’t remind him of a broken promise, and the man that broke his heart. He couldn't go back to that dark place, he wouldn't survive reliving it a second time.

He sank to his knees against the solid wood. He concentrated, willing for his breathing to return to normal. His eyes were closed so tightly they ached, the only sounds he could hear was the beating of his own heart as he tried to get his breathing under control.

“Aaron?” Leslie’s voice sounded far away. The door to the barn creaked open, and a shaft of fading daylight sliced into the musty interior. “Are you okay?”

“Fine,” he forced out, climbing to his feet and dusting his hands on his jeans. He managed a weak smile, hoping it would mask his lie.

Leslie, with her freckled face, was instantly suspicious. “What are you doing out here? You’re supposed to be working on your book."

“I was just…” Reminiscing, missing the man he loved, but there was no point in admitting that. “I needed some air,” he said instead, hoping it didn’t sound suspicious.

“Right,” Leslie said, and Aaron knew she didn’t believe him. “Why do you come out here anyway?”

If he couldn’t admit that he was out here reliving the past, how could he open up about why this place was so special without bringing up Robert? He didn’t want anybody to know.

He shrugged instead. “It’s quiet in here. I thought no one would bug me in here. Clearly I was wrong.” He raised an eyebrow in her general direction. “What are you doing here anyway? Checking up on me?”

“Yes,” she said bluntly. “You weren’t answering your phone. I was worried, sue me.”

Turning away from her, Aaron didn’t bother to hide that he was rolling his eyes at her. “You don’t need to worry. I’m not dodging or putting it off. I just needed a few minutes of peace.”

“Right,” she said again. There was a hint of concern behind the sarcasm. “I’m worried about you.”

He waved that off. “Don’t. I’m fine.”

It was useless to argue with Aaron when he got like this, so Leslie let it go. Maybe he was just exhausted from his trip and the emotional turmoil he’d been through. She tried to sympathize with him. “The revisions were due last week,” she reminded him.

Aaron didn’t let her baggy sweater and faded jeans fool him. Leslie was a tough editor who never let her writers get away with anything.

He doesn’t - he can’t – let on that being in this place brings up a lot of bad memories – and a lot of good ones. No one knows and no one can ever know. But seeing Robert again, even just the small glance he'd seen of him in the park, had affected him, and Aaron cursed himself for allowing Robert to have that control over him again. He couldn't fall back into that trap that had nearly destroyed him years before. He was at a good place in his life now, he couldn't afford any distractions.

He would have to learn to hold his tongue and to avoid Robert at all costs. It was the only way he would get through the next four weeks.

“I told you I’m working on it.”

“I have the feeling that the film adaption has you on edge. I've always had the feeling that it was written from personal experience. Maybe it was something that happened while you were living here?"

Aaron shrugged, but didn’t elaborate. Then he heard the barn door open again and came face to face with the man he'd been trying to forget for the past six years.

Robert.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> just a quick update before I head out for my anniversary weekend.

"This is private property. You're trespassing." Robert's eyes darted to the trespassers, then blinked when recognition set in. His face paled as if he'd just seen a ghost.

"Robert." Aaron inclined his head towards Leslie. "This is Leslie Julia, my editor."

"Pleasure," Robert said, but it was obvious he was annoyed. "I heard you were back," he said to Aaron.

"Heard the same about you," Aaron said. "Was sure you were long gone by now." He was not the same man that had succumbed to Robert Sugden's charms, he reminded himself, so his voice was clipped, void of any warmth.

Just hearing Aaron's voice shouldn't have his heart hammering like this, Robert thought. But it did. "This is Aubree. My daughter."

The little blond hair girl gripping Robert's hand looked nervous at the sight of strangers.

"It's okay, baby," Robert told her. "This is Aaron. He used to be a friend of daddy's. Now he's super famous."

Aaron tried not to roll his eyes when Robert referred to him as a _friend_. He said nothing.

"Hi Aubree," Leslie said, bending down to the little girl's level and reaching out her hand. "It's nice to meet you."

Aubree could only stare. "You're pretty," she said finally.

Leslie let out of a laugh. "Thank you. So are you. Sorry Mr..." She looked up at Robert.

"Sugden," Robert supplied.

"Sorry, Mr. Sugden. I didn't realize this was your property. I saw Aaron come in here. If I had known..."

"It's fine," Robert told her. "Like I said, I know Aaron so it's no big deal. I didn't know it was him at first. I was just being overly cautious since this is my land."

"The land is beautiful," Leslie said as she stood up and brushed hay and dirt from her jeans. 

"Thank you," Robert said. "Been in my family for years. It will be passed down to Aubree one day."

"Cow's smell," Aubree said, making everyone laugh, even Aaron who hadn't said a word or so much as twitched.

Aaron still couldn't help but notice that there was no ring on Robert's hand and there was no sign of Chrissie. Maybe she was working, he thought. His curiosity got the better of him. "She is beautiful, Rob. Did you and Chris---"

Robert glared at him before he could finish the sentence. The look told Aaron to shut up before he said anything more.

"We have to get going, monkey," Robert said to Aubree. 

"Can I invite them to my birthday?" Aubree asked, completely ignoring what her father had just said. "I'm going to be five in this many weeks." Aubree held up three fingers, just like her auntie Vic taught her.

"I'm sorry," Aaron said. "I'll be back in London by then and Leslie here she's a slave driver who rarely leaves her computer."

"Oh." Aubree looked disappointed and Aaron had the sudden urge to hug her when she pouted. 

"Aaron."

Aaron hated the way Robert said his name, like the two of them, shared some kind of special relationship. "What?"

"Can we meet up later? I'd like to talk to you."

How could he tell Robert _hell no_ without offending him or looking like a complete jerk? Aaron wondered. But he couldn't say that in front of Robert's daughter. Kids were impressionable and the last thing he wanted to do was offend Robert when they both had clearly moved on from their rocky past.

"Why?" he said instead.

"I just thought it would be nice to catch up," Robert said. "Haven't seen you in six years."

"And why do you think that is?"

"I don't want to talk about this in front of Aubree," Robert said. "Aaron, please. Just give me five minutes, that's all I'm asking."

"Okay, fine." What was the harm? But he was already having second thoughts.

"You could come around mine tomorrow? Aubree will be in school."

They would be alone? Aaron felt the panic bubbling to the surface. _There's still time to change your mind. Tell him no!_ But of course, as usual, when it came to Robert, he ignored his brain.

"Okay, just text me your address."

While they exchange numbers, Aubree couldn't help but stare at Aaron. 

"Daddy says you're famous."

"I wouldn't say famous," Aaron said. "I'm not a movie star or anybody special. I just write books."

"Like Franklin and Goodnight Moon?"

Aaron couldn't help but laugh. "No, nothing like that."

"That's too bad. I like books. Goodnight Moon is my favorite. Daddy reads it to me every night."

Somehow Aaron just couldn't picture Robert reading bedtime stories to a child. Maybe Robert had changed, maybe he wasn't the same man Aaron remembered. Maybe he should give Robert the benefit of the doubt and give him a chance. They could be civil, maybe they could even be friends. There was no harm in that. They had been once before, but this time his heart wasn't at risk to be broken.

Before he could stop it, Aaron found himself smiling at the visual of Robert tucking his daughter into bed and reading to her. And for a moment, Robert thought he saw a flash of something else darken Aaron's eyes. Longing? Desire? He couldn't wait to find out.

Aaron swallowed the lump that had lodged in his throat. "I'll see you tomorrow at yours then." He needed to get out of here, as far away from Robert as he could.

He had a book to finish. He couldn't - wouldn't - let Robert distract him. 

_He already is,_ his brain warned him. _I can already see you falling for his charms again._

_I'm not._

_Yes, you are._

_Shut up._

He was fighting a war with himself already. He would meet Robert tomorrow, find out what he wanted, then move on. If he was going to be sticking around for the next three weeks to finish his book, he wasn't going to be able to avoid running into Robert, so might as well hash it out, agree to bury the past, then they could both move on.

Aaron leaned down and grabbed his laptop bag from where he'd left it on a barrel of hay. "I have to get going. Leslie doesn't like it when I slag off."

"I'm a slave driver," Leslie said, rolling her eyes. "Temperamental writers," she muttered under her breath.

"Hey, I heard that," Aaron grumbled. 

Leslie grinned. Their playful back and forth banter is what made Aaron one of her favorite writers. He was moody most of the time, but underneath the tough exterior was a kind and thoughtful man who never forgot to send her flowers for her birthday.

Aaron reached out his hand to Aubree. "Was nice meeting you, Aubree. See you around."

Then he was gone.

* * *

Having struggled through a string of bad relationships since his divorce, and with a daughter to think about, Robert put his love life on the back burner. It was probably the first time in his life he'd ever been unselfish, he thought. Aubree certainly brought out the best in him.

But seeing Aaron today made him want in a way he hadn't wanted anyone in a long time. 

He should have chosen Aaron, Robert knew that now. The life he thought he wanted that Chrissie could give him wasn't worth the price he'd ended paying in the end. He had a hard time admitting to himself that he had loved Aaron - far more deeply than he had ever allowed himself to admit until now - and he had made a huge mistake.

But then he wouldn't have Aubree, he thought, so letting Aaron go maybe had just been part of his destiny. Maybe they both needed to grow up, to find their own success before finding each other again.

But as Robert remembered the way Aaron had looked at him, the icy glare shot in his direction, Robert wasn't so sure Aaron would see it that way.

Not yet, anyway.

But for Robert, all it had taken was one look back into Aaron's blue eyes for him to fall all over again. Was he mad? What the hell was he doing fantasizing about Aaron when there was no way it would ever work out between the two of them. Aaron was famous now, a published author and he would become even more famous once his movie came out. He could have any man he wanted, why would he want a single dad who had broken his heart? And Robert had Aubree and his own career. She had to be his priority. 

Still reeling from his unsatisfying, high-pressure life as Executive Vice President of Lawrence's company, Robert had found solace in a less high-pressure career as co-owner of a haulage company with Jimmy King. He had been in dire need of a change after Chrissie left leaving him with a baby not even eight months old. He had to grow up a lot after their divorce and Chrissie's subsequent disappearing act. Sure he had wallowed in self-pity for all of five minutes before he got up, brushed himself off, and went looking for a place for him and his daughter to live.

The sprawling, historic house had been neglected by the previous owners, but after putting money aside for Aubree's education and the initial investment in the haulage company, Robert invested the rest of his divorce settlement in fixing up the old house. He'd had it renovated from top to bottom and a new touch of paint made the outside attract attention to anybody that walked by. The outside was painted white and had blue shutters. The front porch was covered with a wooden swing surrounded by potted plants that he and Aubree had planted last spring.

And as he tucked Aubree into bed that night, her eyes fluttering closed before he'd finished the end of the story, Robert realized he was already screwed. He knew what he wanted, and this time he couldn't afford to be afraid to go after it.

He had read all of Aaron's books, mostly out of curiosity. But it was the first one that had piqued his interest the most. He wasn't an idiot; the main character was clearly based on him. Aaron had used their relationship as a road map and created a story centered around a man confused about his sexuality who has an affair with one of his best mates while he's engaged to a woman. Too scared to admit how he really feels and unable to risk losing everything, he calls off the affair and marries his fiance. But it doesn't last and he finds his life slowly falling apart and he goes on a journey of self-discovery until at the end he is finally at peace with who he is and reunites with the man he loves.

Maybe writing a story based on his own experience had helped Aaron cope with their breakup. Robert wasn't mad. He was at the time he'd first read it, angry even, but now he was almost flattered.

Almost.

He'd spent years convincing himself he was over Aaron, tried to deny the fact that what he had with Chrissie never even came close to what he'd felt with Aaron, that he didn't feel half the things with her that Aaron brought out of him.

It had been useless trying to convince himself that his feelings were in the past, that they had been buried a long time ago. That it was for the best that Aaron had moved to London. He didn't need Aaron in his life. He was better off without him.

But now he knew it had never really been over. It still wasn't. And he knew he only had three weeks before Aaron went back to London, to prove to Aaron that he had changed. He was persuasive, but it was going to take a lot more than that to convince Aaron that they could have the same ending as Christian and Joshua had in his book.

This was his last chance; he couldn't afford to blow it this time. There was too much to lose.

Screw the consequences.


	4. Chapter 4

Aaron stared at his keyboard, willing his fingers to move, to do something, anything. But he just stared at the blank screen like he expected the words to magically appear.

He couldn't concentrate, and he blamed Robert. Without even trying, Robert had gotten under his skin again. 

Aaron rubbed his hands over his face, as if it would help erase the memories that still haunted him after six years.

When his phone lit up, he was greeted with a short message from his agent, Lola.

_Check Twitter. They've just announced whose playing Joshua._

Aaron opened Twitter on his laptop and typed in the name of his first book _Finding My Echo._ The headlines were pretty much the same. He clicked on a link.

_Marcus Wilcox has landed the lead role in the movie adaptation of Aaron Dingle's novel, Finding My Echo. Filming is slated to begin later next month. The actor playing the role of Christopher has not been announced yet. Stay tuned for further updates._

At the bottom was a picture of the dusk jacket of Aaron's book, along with a photograph of Marcus Wilcox, an up and coming actor who looked nothing at all like Robert. He had brown hair and brown eyes and wasn't as tall.

Before he could text his agent back, Aaron noticed he already had a message waiting for him.

It was from Robert.

_It was good seeing you today. You look good. By the way, we really need to talk about your book._

Shit, Aaron thought. When he had written _Finding Your Echo,_ he had no idea that he would ever lay eyes on Robert again. He had known it would be fairly obvious if Robert ever read the book - and honestly, he never thought he would - that he was the motivation behind Joshua's character and coming out story.

Now he really wished he hadn't ended the book the way he had. Giving Joshua and Christopher a happy ending was not realistic. Not in his world, anyway.

Had he given Robert the wrong impression?

_Aaron: what about my book? Don't tell me you actually learned how to read._

_Get back to work,_ he told himself.

He'd been sitting in his makeshift office for nearly an hour and hadn't achieved anything more than turning on his laptop and drinking two cups of coffee. His mind was completely consumed with the memory of Robert's face. Why did he still have to look so damn good, like he hadn't aged at all in the six years since Aaron had last laid eyes on him?

It wasn't fair.

Robert's face continued to flash into his mind. And Aubree. God, Robert's little girl was adorable. 

A sudden wave of realization washed over Aaron. If Robert had read the book, did he think that it was some sort of message he was trying to convey, like he wanted Robert back?

No, that was stupid. He hadn't seen Robert in six years. And now with a daughter, Aaron knew there was no chance that Robert was single. Aaron's thoughts drifted to Chrissie.

_Robert: Shut up. I've read it and clearly it's about me. There are way too many details about our relationship in there. If we didn't run into each other today, would you have ever told me about it?_

_Aaron: I didn't think I'd ever see you again._

_Robert: Obviously. We need to talk about this._

_Aaron: No one knows the idea behind the book has anything to do with you. No one knows, I've never told anyone about you and me. Like you said to me, we meant nothing. I don't know why you care all of a sudden._

He didn't get a reply back for half an hour. Aaron was three paragraphs into the next chapter, typing frantically as the next chapter started to take shape in his mind and made its way onto the page.

_Robert: And what if I told you I didn't mean that and I'm sorry?_

Why was he apologizing now? Aaron let his curiosity get the better of him and asked about the one thing he'd been curious about all these years.

_Aaron: What about Chrissie?_

Another half an hour delay in a response.

_Robert: We're divorced. Have been since Aubree was a baby. She's not around anymore. She just up and left one day and I haven't heard from her since. Just dropped Aubree off one morning and never came back._

Aaron didn't know what to say. That poor baby girl, he thought. And poor Robert, raising a little girl on his own. He just couldn't imagine how hard life has been for them. And Aubree, having to live without her mother. It didn't seem fair. But she had seemed so happy, so bubbly. And she'd hugged him. Virtually a stranger. 

_Aaron: I'm sorry._

_Robert: It's not your fault. You were right. I didn't love her, not the way I loved you. But she gave me Aubree, so I try not to dwell on it too much._

Aaron knew it was probably a mistake, and he was probably going to regret this in the morning, but he couldn't stop himself. He had to know.

_Aaron: Did you just admit that you loved me?_

He didn't get the answer he envisioned. He expected Robert to deny it like he always had. Nothing could have prepared him for Robert's confession.

_Robert: Yes. And I know I hurt you and I'm sorry. If I could take it all back I would but then I wouldn't have Aubree._

Where the hell did that leave them now? What could Aaron even say through text message to any of this? His mind was reeling.

Aaron decided he was in some sort of crazy dream, that there was no way Robert had just said that.

He was fucked. Ever since Robert had found him in the barn, he had known he was. There was no getting over Robert Sugden, no matter how far he'd tried to outrun him and their past. And the book was just further proof that he'd never really forgotten Robert. It had just been another failed attempt at escape. 

He was fucked. So fucked.

Nervously, Aaron chewed on the inside of his cheek. His heart kicked into overdrive as he walked to the mini-fridge and pulled out a bottle of whiskey. He was going to need something strong.

_Aaron: See you tomorrow then? I have to get back to work_

_Robert: Yeah, me too. Have some haulage contracts to work on. Goodnight Aaron._

_Aaron: Goodnight._

He booted his laptop back up and got back to work.

He wouldn't say that it was because of what Robert said that inspired him to keep writing when it was already dark outside, but by three am he'd managed to finish the next two chapters which he emailed off to Leslie before going to bed.

 _What the hell happened to you?_ she e-mailed back to him. _This is really good. This doesn't have anything to do with that guy and that beautiful little girl we ran into, does it? :)_

Aaron ignored the emoji at the end of her e-mail and rolled his eyes.

_And guess what? They've just cast Christopher. The director is going to send you the final script for you to take one last look before they start taking the publicity shots with the actors._

Aaron glanced at the antique clock mounted over the mantle as gas flames quietly hissed against the blackened ceramic logs. 

A cold finger of doubt slid down his spine. He was really proud of _Finding Your Echo,_ but now that Robert was back in his life - which appeared to be the case - how was he going to feel about their relationship being plastered on the big screen for everyone to see? Even though most of the story was fiction, there were parts that were not, parts that would be the focal point of the movie, fragments of a past that he knew Robert wanted to keep hidden.

But it was too late to stop it. The movie began filming next month, and if everything went according to schedule, the premiere would be in five months. But by then, Aaron would be back in London and Robert would be here, raising his daughter. They would go back to being strangers, and no one would ever know that this had been their story, just with a different ending.


	5. Chapter 5

Any reasonable, sane person would have just kept his distance, steered clear of the places where Robert could have easily found him.

But then again, he wasn't reasonable or sane. 

He was clearly insane.

Why else would he have gone to the barn in the first place? It was on Robert's land. He had known exactly what would happen as soon as he stepped through the gate.

Maybe he had wanted Robert to find him.

 _Idiot,_ he scolded himself.

One would think he would have learned his lesson the first time.

Apparently not.

Bracing himself for the inevitable conversation, Aaron ran a hand through his hair as he stared inside his closet, wrestling with what to wear. _Keep it casual_ , he warned himself. _This isn't a date._

He couldn't afford to indulge in self-pity. He wasn't the same man he was six years ago. He'd grown up, matured, made something of himself. He didn't care what Robert thought about him.

Those days were long over.

But Robert was a permanent part of his thoughts, there was no getting around it. 

He didn't owe one damn thing to Robert. He was only going over to his place to discuss the book in a calm and reasonable manner, let Robert know he didn't have to worry about their past being leaked to the press or to anyone else because his book was basically fiction and that no one cared. It wasn't some groundbreaking story that would rip anyone's life apart.

Well, it wasn't all fiction, but no one needed to know that. No one needed to know that when Joshua and Christopher met on vacant land to steal moments alone together, Aaron and Robert had done the same thing, or the way Joshua liked to push Christopher up against the wall. Yeah, that happened too. But those kinds of things happened in ordinary, everyday relationships. It was a far stretch from that to people thinking Robert was involved in any way. They had been discreet back then, no one had ever even suspected they had been more than friends.

Robert was so paranoid.

Joshua was the complete opposite of Robert in many ways. Aaron had done that on purpose, to keep the real man behind the character hidden out of sight.

But Robert knew. How deep into his book had Robert gotten before he realized it?

Joshua may have brown hair and grey eyes and was a doctor who performed surgeries and fixed broken bones, but it was in the other attributes that were not so subtle that clearly characterized Robert as Joshua.

What the hell had he been thinking using his ex-lover to shape a character that was having problems coming to terms with his sexuality for his own personal gain?

Therapy, he reminded himself. He had written the story to help him cope, to get over Robert. And it had helped. Way more than he had ever anticipated.

But now that story was about to be shown on the big screen and he was nervous.

Coming back to Emmerdale had seemed like a good idea at the time, a chance to work in peace. Now he was trapped, forced to revisit a past that he didn't want to.

He couldn't hide. It wasn't physically possible in a village this small. No, he would have to deal with Robert...and with himself. And if he was honest with himself, Aaron would have to admit that he had known from the outset this was inevitable. 

But the magnitude of the fallout he had known would come to a head, he just never expected it to be now. Or here.

When he wrote _Finding Your Echo,_ he never imagined he would see Robert again or have to face the consequences of having written a book loosely based on their brief relationship.

He had to face something that he could no longer avoid. He hadn't written the book to get back at Robert or to cash in on his heartbreak. He had written it strictly for therapeutic purposes. 

How the hell was he to know it would turn into such a phenomenon?

He'd done everything in his power to keep anyone he knew to ever find out that the book wasn't complete fiction. Sure, his editor had pretty much figured out that it was based on a personal experience, hell even Dale had accused him of using his life to get rich.

He shoved his laptop away and plowed a hand through his hair. It was time to get this over with. Just a quick conversation, then they could both move on with their lives. No big deal.

For the second time that morning, he reached for his cold cup of coffee then pushed it away again.

Trying to get Robert to listen to reason had proved futile before; this time he didn't imagine it was going to be any different. 

He didn't care what Robert thought, so why did it feel like his heart was about to beat out of his chest?

He didn't think seeing an old flame was exactly what his editor had in mind when she suggested he go back to Emmerdale for a few weeks to get away from the pressure of the big city, to find a quiet place to write with no distractions, to finish his book. He was getting close to the wire and couldn't afford anything to prevent him from finishing his book. He thrived on the pressure, had discovered he even didn't mind the book signings, even the conventions he could tolerate.

He was on a tight deadline. But his solitude had already been interfered with, thanks to Robert and his adorable little girl. He would not - could not - let himself fall for those piercing eyes, that charming smile, again.

No, it would be dangerous.

He would go, assure Robert he had nothing to worry about, then come back home to work. He wouldn't stay any longer than absolutely necessary.

Aaron caught his reflection in the mirror as he pulled his jacket on.

"And if you think you can stay away from him, you're out of your mind," he muttered.

* * *

Robert Sugden had never committed to anything in his entire life.

Then Aubree had come along and changed his whole life around. Now he was committed to taking care of a four - almost five - year old child who left destruction everywhere she went.

He had just dropped her off at school, and now instead of reviewing the new contracts Jimmy had sent over this morning, he was picking up toys from the living room floor and wiping raspberry-stained fingerprints from the walls.

Robert had always believed that when feelings were involved, someone always got hurt. 

But for the first time in his life, he wouldn't wish for a different path than the one he'd taken. Preparation was the key to every success he'd had, in business and in his personal life. Today would be no different. Despite being in the middle of shaky ground, he was prepared, and he wouldn't let Aaron leave until they ironed everything out.

He had the element of surprise in his favor, Robert thought as he dusted his jeans off as he stood up. But even that felt hollow. Aaron never expected him to read the damn book, he thought. There was no victory in that. It was kind of insulting actually.

He couldn't make this about the two of them. There was only one person in his life that was more important to him than himself. Before she had been born Aubree had wormed her way into his stone-like heart, making him feel as if he actually had one. He couldn't - wouldn't - have survived Chrissie's betrayal if Aubree hadn't been in his life. They had needed each other, depended on each other, to get through the roughest time of their lives. And now his little girl was growing up. Today she wanted to wear makeup to school. Tomorrow she would be asking to learn how to drive. He had not been prepared for fatherhood, but he was slowly - with the help of Vic, even Jimmy and Nicola - learning how to be the best dad he could be.

Aubree had forced him out of solitude, been the only person who had ever truly needed him. 

But then Robert thought about Aaron, the only other person that ever really came close to owning his heart. Looking back, Robert could accept that Aaron had owned him completely, but that he had been too afraid to let him.

Unconditional love, the true meaning of family. That's what Aubree gave to him every single day since she was born. But Aaron's book, if the truth ever came out, would destroy the father she thought she knew. Would it hurt her to know that her dad was in love with another man and had almost left her mother for him? 

Chrissie is not her mother, Robert reminded himself as he poured himself a cup of coffee. Maybe biologically, but not in the true meaning of the word. A mother was supposed to be the one person that put your needs first, above her own, and care and nurture, to support. Chrissie had never done any of those things. No, she had left that to Robert. 

He had to talk to Aaron, make him understand why no good could ever come from revealing the truth behind his book. He would calmly explain that keeping quiet would save them both from misery. He wasn't just worried about himself; he wouldn't let anything taint the way Aubree saw him. He would do whatever he had to do to make sure he did what was best for his daughter, even though it killed him inside.

The knock on the door silenced his thoughts. Robert rolled his shoulders back, inhaled a lungful of air and released it, and opened the door.

Aaron was on the other side, almost on time. Robert could sense his nerves were already strung tight. Robert held the door open to let him inside and gestured to a leather chair in his living room before sitting on the sofa.

Aaron picked up the blue and white teddy bear wedged in the cushion on the chair as he sat down after declining Robert's offer for a drink. "You wanted to talk about the book."

"I know you didn't do it intentionally, but your book is a huge success and now that it's being made into a movie, I thought we should talk about what you plan to say about it when people ask about it. I've heard the speculation going around about it being based on someone from your life."

"I've shot down those rumors," Aaron said.

"But the questions aren't stopping, and they'll continue once the movie is out. I can't have it come out that you've based Joshua on me."

"It won't," Aaron assured him.

"I have a daughter to think about. I can't have this...this movie affecting her."

"Stop being so paranoid. As far as anyone is concerned, my book is pure fiction, which it is. Whatever you and I had was years ago, Rob, and no one even knew about us. Trust me, no one's going to ask or even care as long as you act normal."

"I care!" Robert stood up to pace the room, slipping his hands into his pockets. "And you're not taking me seriously. Do you have any idea what life has been like for us since Chrissie walked out? I've been lucky up until now that Aubree hasn't asked about her, but she's starting to. I have enough to deal with, Aaron. You need to promise me that you won't mention to anyone about you and me. I can't deal with it."

"No one knows anything," Aaron said calmly. "It's been six years, Rob, and no one has ever questioned our relationship or why it ended the way it did. Everyone just thinks we went in different directions in life. Which is true. No one needs to know what really happened. It's no one's business."

"But yet you had no problem writing about me in your book."

Aaron could see the combination of annoyance and frustration simmering about him. He felt much the same way himself. Some might say he'd had an unusual run of luck with his books. He had been sure he would just be a one-hit-wonder, that there was no way he had another story in him. His second book had been totally different from his first, a story of betrayal and murder. No one had been more surprised than him that it shot straight to the bestsellers list just like _Finding My Echo._ He thought for sure the second book had just been a fluke, just plain luck. But then he wrote his third book, another book of murder and intrigue, and the same thing. It shot straight up the bestseller's list. He became an instant celebrity; everyone wanted him to sign their books; tv stations and magazines were desperate to interview him. He had to hire an agent and a management team. Then came the movie offer. It all happened so fast, a blur. 

He might have been able to ignore the feeling of having everyone judge him and his work and he tried not to care about the negative reviews. He had tried to convince himself that after the first book writing would be out of his system and he would concentrate on something else. But that hadn't been the case. He couldn't stop. It turned out writing was something he was good at and he couldn't stop wanting to perfect his craft.

"If anyone starts to answer questions, you have to promise to leave me out of it."

Aaron considered the question. It wasn't the first time Robert had asked him to keep a secret. "If anyone asks, which I know they won't, I'll just say that the book is based on my personal experiences coming out and the rest is pure fiction."

"Okay," Robert said. "Now that this awful business is out of the way, how about a drink?"

Aaron grabbed his wrist. "So that's it then? You just wanted me to come over here so I would agree to keep your dirty little secret? It still embarrasses you, the fact that you had a romantic relationship with a man. You haven't changed. I thought maybe having a kid had made you a better man, but I was clearly wrong." He enjoyed the quick jump of Robert's pulse beneath his fingers.

"I'm trying to protect my daughter," Robert said, and tried to tug his hand away. Aaron only tightened his grip.

"Oh yeah? Are you sure about that? I think you're scared that you still have feelings for me, that me being back in the village has stirred up old feelings." Aaron watched Robert's eyes narrow in fury. It made him smile knowing he was getting under Robert's skin. 

"Don't be ridiculous. That was six years ago. It's in the past. I've buried it, maybe you should too." 

Aaron let go of Robert's wrist and his blood went cold. "You're the one that asked me over here."

"To let you know where I stood."

"To shut me up from saying anything about you, you mean," Aaron shot back. He was only becoming more angry the more Robert opened his mouth. "You don't have to worry. I told you six years ago and it still stands. I won't utter a word to anyone about your dirty little secret. You want to keep hiding away, pretending you're something you're not, go right ahead. You couldn't find happiness with Chrissie, and you won't find it with the next one that comes along, either until you admit to yourself who you really are."

Aaron's words were harsh and completely uncalled for, Robert thought furiously. One glance at Aaron told Robert that he was just as furious as he was. There used to be a time when this would have been a turn on to them, the constant back and forth, the anger that would eventually turn to lust. Before they would have ended up in the bedroom, pulling frantically at each other's clothes and shutting the rest of the world out.

That wouldn't happen this time.

Feeling spiteful, Robert narrowed his eyes. "At least I don't sleep with married men. I know all about you and Dale Zimmerman. It all over the papers, wasn't it? I seem to recall you wanted me when you knew I was engaged to Chrissie. Men that are taken must really do it for you."

Not amused at Robert's obvious tactic, Aaron grabbed his jacket from the back of the sofa. "This conversation is over. I'm only here to finish my book then I'm going back to London. Until then, just keep away from me yeah?"

Gladly, Robert thought resentfully as he watched Aaron walk to the door. Aaron slammed it purposefully behind him.

Robert bit back an oath and cursed under his breath.

How had he ever thought he had loved Aaron? 

He ignored the voice in his head that warned him he had and probably still did, which had him shaking his head out of denial.

He'd been too harsh, Robert concluded, that's why he was even thinking about going over to see Aaron. Just to apologize for his behavior. Not because he felt anything at all for the man.

He was, Robert concluded, losing his fucking mind, because there was no way he was going to chase after Aaron. Not anymore 

But it had been late to change his mind. Robert grabbed his jacket from the closet, then slammed the door. He found himself heading in the direction of Aaron's place, but told himself that he was just going to the pub for a pint, that it was just pure coincidence that Aaron's place was on the way there.

He was still trying to talk himself out of it even as he banged on Aaron's door.

Desire clawed at him with a sharpness he'd only experienced once before. When he'd first kissed Aaron all those years ago by the lake.

"What the hell do you want?" Aaron said when he opened the door, his hair still damp from the shower.

Robert pushed his way inside, and as soon as the door was closed and they were away from any prying eyes, pushed Aaron up and against the wall and kissed him before Aaron could push him away.

"How could I have forgotten how badly I want you?" Robert murmured, then drowned Aaron's muffled response with another passion-filled kiss. 

Robert's tongue eased between lips he parted expertly as he pressed Aaron back against the wall. Feeling the muscled ridge of Robert's body against his own, Aaron started to object, but his arms were already around him, pulling Robert closer, his mouth already searching, moving avidly under Robert's.

It was like six years hadn't passed since their last kiss. The kiss was intense, with lips and teeth and tongue, nibbling then devouring, then seducing, then possessing. 

Ripping his mouth from Aaron's, Robert pressed it against Aaron's throat as he struggled to cling to the fine edge of reason. He wanted Aaron and felt Aaron's want for him. He wanted to touch him, feel every pulse hum, and taste and taste until they were both raging.

"No." Hearing his own weak protest, Aaron fought to strengthen it. "No," he said again. "You can't just come here and kiss me like that and expect everything to change or erase what you said to me."

"I know," Robert said, caging Aaron in again. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean what I said. I'm not trying to hide, Aaron. I'm just trying to protect my daughter. I told you yesterday that I loved you back then but that I was too scared to admit it to you or to myself, and that's the truth. Being married to Chrissie made me realize how I really felt about you. But she gave me Aubree, Aaron. Since Chrissie left, she's been my number one priority, and she has to stay that way."

"I understand that," Aaron said. "And I told you I'm not going to say anything."

"But I hurt you," Robert said quietly. "When we were starting to get serious, I told you I didn't love you, that I wanted you gone. If you had any sort of sense, you would use this book, this movie, as your chance to get your revenge on me for what I did."

"I'm not looking for revenge, Rob. That's not why I wrote the book. It helped me. It was sort of therapy, I guess. I had no idea it would turn into this massive thing or that anyone would even buy the damn thing. The last thing I expected was for it to help millions of people come out on their own terms or that anyone would even think it would be a good idea to turn it into a movie."

"It's a brilliant book," Robert said, cupping Aaron's face in his hands. "You're brilliant. I had no idea what a great writer you were. I'm proud of you."

Knowing what the outcome would be if he didn't back away, Aaron put some distance between them. "And you should be proud, too. Rob, Aubree is the sweetest little girl. And you're a good dad. I promise you she won't be hurt by this movie and neither will you. For the rest of the time I'm here, let's just try to get on yeah? I'm only here to finish my book then I'll be on my way back to London. We can tolerate each other for that long, can't we?"

Desire raging through him again, Robert nodded. "Yeah, of course. I think we can handle being friends." But he wanted more. So much more. But that would have to wait. "Aubree keeps asking me to invite you over. I know I don't have any right to ask, but..."

Aaron discovered he didn't want to upset Aubree by refusing her invitation. "How about tomorrow? You could cook, we could play some games. I need a bit of normal in my life. But I better get back, I really have to get back to work or Leslie will skin me alive, and I know you have to pick Aubree up from school." Aaron felt his temper cool off. Maybe they could be friends after all.

"Tomorrow sounds good," Robert said as he walked to the door.

"When you kissed me just now, it reminded me of our first kiss by the lake," Aaron said, causing Robert to stop in his tracks.

Robert paused when he got to the door and turned around. His lips were already tingling in anticipation of their next kiss. He couldn't prevent the smile that curved his lips. "It won't be the last," he said, like it was a dare. 

Aaron flushed, both in fury and embarrassment. "This isn't a game, Rob."

"No, you're right it's not. I still want you."

"Stop. We can't go down that road again, we both know that."

"Just....just come for dinner tomorrow and hang out with us. Let me show you the real me. I want you to see me as a dad because that's what I'm most proud of."

_Then after Aubree goes to bed let me show you how much I still want you._

"Dinner. I can't promise you any more than that."

"Okay," Robert agreed. 

But he was already thinking of ways to change Aaron's mind.


	6. Chapter 6

Robert decided on a red tie at Aubree's insistence. He wanted tonight to go well. He wanted Aaron to see how much he had changed over the past six years, that he wasn't the same greedy, selfish chancer he had been during their affair. He wanted Aaron to see the softer side of him.

Why did he care so much? Robert wondered, though he already knew the answer.

Getting involved with Aaron again would only bring everything crashing down around him and the perfect little life he'd carved out for himself and Aubree.

It wasn't smart. It made no logical sense. He knew where tonight would lead, and he knew it was wrong, that he should stop it before anything could happen, but it was too late and Aubree was already bouncing off the walls with excitement. She couldn't stop talking about Aaron. She had a million questions she wanted to ask him.

What was it about Aaron that had his daughter already head over heels in love with a man she'd only met once?

Like father, like daughter, Robert mused. It hadn't taken much for him to fall for Aaron all those years ago either.

Robert flashed a mischievous grin in Aubree's direction as he stirred pasta sauce at the stove. She was currently hiding under a fort she made from pillows and blankets in the living room. Today she was Princess Aubree waiting for her prince to come save her. Her large collection of stuffed animals surrounded her.

The doorbell chimed.

"I'll get it!" Aubree emerged from her castle and skipped towards the door.

Their eyes locked as soon as Aubree opened the door. Aubree didn't seem to notice; she was too busy casting her own heart eyes at Aaron.

"These are for you," Aaron said, handing her a small bouquet of yellow and white roses.

If she could have melted right there, she would have. 

Robert's throat went dry at the sight in front of him. His daughter blushing as she received her first flowers. Aaron standing there in jeans that molded his legs and a black hoody that in Robert's mind concealed too much. He couldn't steady his nerves and watched as Aaron bent down to Aubree's level and kissed the hand she held out to him.

Yeah, he was fucked. In those few seconds, something fundamental between them had changed. He struggled to get himself under control before he spoke.

"Why don't we put those in a vase before they wilt," he said to Aubree, who still couldn't take her eyes off Aaron.

Aubree was mesmerized, and barely heard a word her dad said.

"Aubree," Robert said, trying to get her attention.

Aubree continued to ignore him. Instead, she jumped into Aaron's arms and hugged him. Aaron, not used to having this kind of effect on anyone, especially a child, went with instinct and put his arms around her.

Aaron had known coming here tonight could be a risk, something he wasn't sure he was prepared for. But there was no turning back. It was too late for that.

"It's nice to see you again, Aubree," Aaron said.

"You're cute," Aubree said.

Aaron blushed. "Thanks, kid. You're not so bad yourself."

"Come in," Robert said. "Can I get you a drink?"

"Yeah sure thanks," Aaron said, trying to entangle himself from Aubree who just wouldn't let go of him. 

"Can I show you my room?" she asked.

"Sure, yeah." Aubree was already tugging him towards the staircase. 

Robert watched them disappear up the stairs, then turned his attention back to finishing dinner.

* * *

Aubree's room was covered in pink. The walls were painted a light pink and covered with posters of her favorite Disney movies, and there was a wooden bed tucked into the corner of her room that was overflowing with pink blankets with owls on them. 

"My daddy says we can get a dog."

Aubree talked a lot, Aaron thought. And how she was so comfortable around him when she barely knew him left him baffled.

"How do you know my daddy?"

Aaron panicked. Thankfully Aubree didn't notice. "We used to know each other when I lived here. I live in London now. Haven't seen your dad for a long time."

"Did you know my mum?"

Feeling like he was being backed into a corner, Aaron tried to retreat. He knew Chrissie was a touchy subject, one that Robert didn't want talked about in front of Aubree. She was already asking questions he couldn't answer. 

It was Robert's place, not his, Aaron reminded himself. 

"Why don't we go back downstairs. We left your dad down there all by himself."

"Dad is a good cook," Aubree said as she led the way back downstairs. Robert was spooning the pasta onto plates.

Aaron was grateful Aubree seemed to have forgotten about grilling him about Chrissie for the moment. Aaron knew she would ask him again. He would have to mention it to Robert so he could handle it. 

_Not your place._

* * *

After dinner, in which Aubree scarfed down before she bombarded Aaron with questions about his life in London and what kinds of books he writes, they played Go Fish with Aubree before Robert took her upstairs to get her ready for bed.

When he came back down, Aaron was putting his coat on.

"You don't have to go," Robert said. "Aubree's asleep."

"Which is why I think I should go."

"Scared to be alone with me?"

Aaron raised an eyebrow. "We both know what happens when we're alone. A lot has changed in six years, but not that."

Robert moved closer until they were mere inches apart. "What's so bad about that? I didn't see you complaining yesterday when I kissed you."

Aaron bit the inside of his cheek to hide the smile that was threatening to break loose. "We can't do this, Rob. We both know that. I'm only here for a few weeks then I'm going back to London and you have Aubree to worry about."

Robert hated that Aaron was being so logical. He knew Aaron was right, but that didn't stop him from wanting him. From needing him.

Six years had apparently not depleted his desire, or love, and he had no idea what the hell he was going to do about it.

To hell with the consequences, Robert thought, and pulled Aaron against him.

"Don't," Aaron warned him, but it was too late. He tried to shove Robert away, but it was useless. He planted his hands on Robert's hips and Robert jolted from the fire that it shot through him.

"Aaron." Robert's voice was gruff, his eyes flashed briefly as they met Aaron's. 

"This can't go anywhere," Aaron said in a voice he didn't recognize as his own. 

They both knew that was a lie.

Heat flooded both of them. 

"It already has," Robert murmured.

Aaron took a step back to put some distance between them. "You're an interesting mix, Rob, of the ruthless and the responsible."

"No one's ever accused me of being responsible before."

"You stepped up to the plate with Aubree. It's obvious how much she adores you. I don't think anyone gives you enough credit for being a good father."

"Thank you," Robert said, touched.

"It throws me off."

"I'm glad I can throw you off." He reached out to trail his finger down the back of Aaron's hand to his wrist. "Your pulse jumps when I touch you here," he whispered, grazing a finger over the inside of Aaron's wrist again.

A bit unsteadily, Aaron removed his hand. "I should go."

Robert's eyes, when Aaron's met them, were very calm and very confident. Taking a step closer, he captured both of Aaron's hands in his own. "Stay for a little bit. We don't have to do anything. I just want us to talk."

"I can't---"

Robert stopped Aaron's protesting with a kiss that left them both reeling.

The buzz of Aaron's cell phone interrupted the moment. 

"Sorry." Aaron backed away and pulled his phone from his pocket. "Hello? Are you serious? Right now?" Aaron huffed out a breath then sighed. "Fine. Book me on the next flight out. Yeah, I'll see you out there." Aaron ended the call and slipped his phone back in his pocket. "I have to go to London."

Robert said nothing as Aaron walked to the door. 

"They're having problems with the re-write and apparently the actors have a history and it's not good and they ended up having a fight in a bar last night. They have to replace the actor playing Christopher and they want me to be there to watch the auditions."

Robert wanted him to stay, but he knew where Aaron's priorities were. Aaron's career was the most important thing to him and Robert couldn't fault him for that. He would be patient, it was the only thing he could do. And it would give him time to sort out his own head, figure out if getting involved with Aaron again was worth the risk. Everything was at stake. Aaron was a famous man. If they got involved again, he would be scrutinized, the press would be a constant annoyance. And he had Aubree to think about. He had to protect her.

He had no idea what to do; all he knew was he was powerless to stop whatever it was that was going on between him and Aaron. 

His eyes were calm as he nodded. "We'll pick this up when you get back."

"Rob, I was serious before. This can't go anywhere."

"I told you, it already has."

Robert waited until he was alone before he covered his face with his hands and let out a string of curse words.

* * *

The cab pulled up in front of the granite steps. A lush bed of flowers flowed in a semicircle around the front.

Leaving the two suitcases to the cab driver, she started up the steps.

She looked up at the oak door, then knocked.

The door swung open. Robert's mouth fell open. "Chrissie?"

"Robert." She walked in without an invitation. "Miss me?"

Robert couldn't speak. He looked behind him at the oak staircase where upstairs his daughter was fast asleep. He'd just come down from checking on her.

_Their daughter._

Except Chrissie wasn't Aubree's mother; she'd given up those rights the night she decided to walk out on them, leaving Robert to raise their little girl on his own.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Robert demanded.

"Hello to you too," she bristled. 

Chrissie looked just like he expected she would; fur coat, expensive red pumps, and a navy blue pantsuit.

Still living off her daddy's money, he mused with disgust.

"What do you want?"

"This won't take long," Chrissie said. He didn't miss her sneer as she looked around the small main floor of his home. She had always been a master at evading.

"I don't have all night," Robert muttered.

"I came to talk to you about our daughter."

" _My_ daughter."

"She's still mine."

"You left her!"

"Because I wasn't ready to be a mother. I am now."

"Too little, too late."

"I've already spoken to my attorney. He's drawing up papers as we speak."

Robert could feel the panic boiling in his gut. He fought to control his temper. "What the hell are you talking about? It's been four years! I've been taking care of her, I'm the only parent she knows. You can't seriously be thinking about filing for joint custody."

"Full custody." Chrissie flashed her sparkling diamond ring in his face. "Richard and I got married last year. I've settled down. I've been helping him raise his daughter for the past few months. And we want to make Aubree a part of our family."

"This is absurd. I have custody of Aubree. I'm all she knows. You're not taking her away from me!"

"I thought you would at least try to be reasonable." She drummed her bright red manicured nails against her suede purse. "Don't make this difficult, it will only hurt Aubree."

"You're the one that hurt her when you abandoned her to go live a life of luxury living off your father's money."

"How dare you throw that back in my face!"

"You're not coming near her," Robert said, as his voice rose. "I don't care how much money you have. I'm not letting you take her from me."

"Robert, just listen. Just think how it will look in front of a judge. I'm married, settled down with a family. You're a single man living in a tiny little cottage in a small village the size of a postage stamp. You really think you can beat me in court?"

"The odds are not in your favor, Chrissie. You left her without a word. How do you think that's going to look to a judge?"

"You know I can throw on the waterworks just as well as anybody else," Chrissie said. "If I have to, I'll claim you abused me and I left because I was afraid of you."

Robert paled. "You wouldn't dare! That's a bold faced lie and we both know it."

"I learned from the best." Chrissie's grin was cold and ruthless. 

Angry, Robert shook a finger at her. "You have the nerve, the utter gall, to come to my house and threaten me. You cold-hearted bitch."

Pleased at the reaction her words triggered from him, she smiled coldly. "Since you don't want to be reasonable..." Chrissie grabbed her purse and walked to the door. "See you in court." Then she was gone.

He didn't know why, but the first person he thought to call to help calm him down was Aaron, who was already at the airport waiting for his flight to board.

"Rob, calm down and tell me again slowly. Chrissie showed up on your door and said what?" Aaron listened as Robert, between sobs, told Aaron every agonizing detail of what Chrissie had said, the threats to take his daughter away from him. "Rob, I'm sorry. Look, let me call my lawyer. I'll have him call you."

"You don't have to do that," Robert said. "I just didn't know who else to call. I really needed to hear your voice."

Yeah, Aaron thought. They were both definitely in too deep, and there was no way of digging themselves out. And it surprised him that it didn't even scare him anymore. Hearing the pain in Robert's voice, the panic, made him realize he still had feelings for Robert and he would do anything - anything - to protect not just him, but his little girl too. "I want to do this for you, okay? You need legal help. And knowing Chrissie she's got her father's lawyer on speed dial. You need someone good, someone ruthless who can make sure Aubree isn't taken away from you."

"Aaron, I'm scared."

Aaron could sense it in his voice. His heart broke for Robert, and for Aubree, if Chrissie somehow managed to convince a court to give her custody. Aaron barely knew Aubree, but he knew her heart would be broken if she was taken away from Robert. "I'm here for you, Rob, and for Aubree. Whatever happens, okay? Listen, they're calling my flight, I have to go. Just let me call my lawyer, he's the best."

"Okay." Robert knew he had no choice. "I can't lose her, Aaron. I can't."

"And you won't." Aaron knew he shouldn't make promises he couldn't keep, but he wanted so badly to be able to. "I'll call you when I land, okay? Everything's going to be fine."

"Thank you." Aaron could hear his sobs over the commotion at the airport. Flights being called over the speaker, anxious passengers panicking about missing luggage and passports, and luggage behind dragged on the floors. "Aaron?"

"Yeah?"

"I know this probably isn't the best time to say this, but god I love you."

Then the line went dead.


	7. Chapter 7

He could blame it on the anger and frustration that had been boiling up inside of him after Chrissie's unexpected visit. And he could blame it on the sexual tension between them that only seemed to increase every time they were in close proximity to each other.

Robert was constantly embroiled in a pointless argument with himself in which he found himself defending his actions. It was on the verge of pathetic, battling with himself and losing sleep over three simple words.

_God, I love you._

He shouldn't have said it, he'd known it the minute the words slipped out of his mouth, but the way Aaron offered his support so freely without reservation like they were friends and not two strangers who used to be close before he'd gone and ruined everything, had left him unnerved. He had the support of his sister and Adam and the rest of the village who he knew would go to bat for him, but he hadn't called them. No, his first instinct had been to call Aaron. He still wasn't sure what had made him gravitate towards him, but before he knew it his finger had hovered over his name in his contact list on his phone. He'd hesitated only briefly before hitting the call button.

 _Idiot,_ he chastised himself as he tugged on a blue tie. After dropping Aubree off at school, he had a meeting over at the cafe with Aaron's lawyer, who he'd spoken to briefly over the phone the day before.

They'd carved out a comfortable existence for themselves back in Emmerdale, he thought. It was home. He couldn't let Chrissie destroy that. She couldn't just swoop in and out of Aubree's life whenever it suited her. He wouldn't allow her to hurt his baby girl.

She was the most precious thing in his life; he wouldn't let anyone - or anything - hurt her.

And if he had to spend a shit load of money to keep her, to protect her, he would, without question.

He still shouldn't have told Aaron he loved him over the phone - all because Aaron had managed to calm him down and insisted he was going to call his lawyer. Robert had heard the concern in Aaron's voice. He knew Aaron still cared about him, but hearing Aaron tell him that he was going to help him, that everything was going to be fine, had turned him into a soft pile of mush and before he could stop the words coming out of his mouth, he was declaring his love for the man who had always had his heart, even though he spent years trying to deny it.

But it wasn't the right time. He should have just kept his mouth shut.

Aaron had been in London for two days and he hadn't heard a word from him. Probably busy with work, Robert told himself. He's not avoiding you just because you told him you loved him.

_Yeah right._

He had scared Aaron off.

 _Shit_ , Robert thought, raking a hand through his hair. What the hell had he been thinking?

"Daddy!" Aubree skipped into his room where he was just putting on his jacket. She had put on her sparkling blue jeans and a pink shirt - her favorite color - with a unicorn eating an ice cream cone. She was carrying her unicorn backpack while shoving Cheerios into her mouth. 

"You're supposed to be at the table eating breakfast," he told her, trying to act stern but failing miserably. She was too cute for him to scold. 

He couldn't imagine his life without her. The way she was bursting with energy and excitement for the day, and knowing the uphill battle he was facing just to keep her, broke his heart. He would do whatever he had to do to protect her. He had spent the last few years trying to shield her from Chrissie's betrayal, but now the bitch was back and threatening to take everything he held dear.

He wouldn't let her come near his baby. She wasn't going to take Aubree away from him, and he would do whatever he had to do - be as vicious and cold-hearted as Chrissie - if he had to.

Why was Chrissie doing this now? He'd been going over and over the question in his mind for the past two days, and he still didn't have a concrete answer. This just didn't make any sense. He knew Chrissie had always been a selfish, conniving woman who didn't let anything - or anyone - stand in the way of getting what she wanted. She lived a life of luxury, was used to getting what she wanted no matter what the consequences were or who she had to hurt. Aubree needed attention and love - two of the things that Chrissie was incapable of offering. Chrissie had never wanted children - she had made that abundantly clear when she'd first gotten pregnant with Aubree and threatened abortion because "she didn't want to be tied down to a child for the rest of her life."

He had seen it when she showed up on his doorstep - Chrissie hadn't changed. If anything, she had only gotten greedier and more malicious. Why would she want Aubree now?

To get him back, to punish him, Robert thought. It was the only thing that made any sense. But how could she hate him so much when she had been the one to walk out and divorce him? He had done nothing wrong.

Okay, maybe that wasn't true, Robert thought, thinking about Aaron. He had been unfaithful to Chrissie, carrying on an affair with Aaron before they got married. But Chrissie never found out about it, and Robert knew Aaron had never told anyone. So why was she trying to hurt him, destroy his life? And why did she wait five years to do it? He didn't care if she hurt him, but he wouldn't let her hurt his little girl. 

He never should have married her. Why didn't he see how manipulative and what a hypocrite she was? Then he thought of Aaron and a past he wished he could change. Secret meetings and late night stolen kisses in the barn, unspoken words of love, hurtful words neither of them could take back. 

Acting on the side of caution, Robert had taken action quickly. He couldn't risk Chrissie showing up at Aubree's school to try and snatch her without his knowledge. He'd gone down to her school and personally made sure the staff knew that no one was to remove her from school grounds except for him and Vic. It made him feel a bit better, but he was still scared because he knew just how persuasive Chrissie could be. He didn't trust her. Maybe he never had, he mused.

"Time for school, monkey," Robert said, affectionately kissing the tip of her nose.

"Why are you so dressed up?" Aubree wanted to know.

"Have a meeting after I drop you off." Robert didn't elaborate, and he was grateful Aubree didn't ask any more questions as they drove the short distance to the school.

He parked the car in front of the school and walked with her up to the front door. He shared a nod with Aubree's teacher. She had picked up on the worry in his eyes when he'd come by the other day and assured him that she would watch Aubree very closely to make sure she was safe.

"Have a good day," Robert said, but Aubree was already running towards one of her friends.

* * *

Robert met Aaron's lawyer, Tom, a middle-aged man in a suit that Robert estimated must cost more than his entire wardrobe, at the cafe. He was sharp and had successfully won hundreds of custody cases and was, according to Aaron, his best hope.

"After our conversation on the phone, I reached out to some of the folks in the village to get some character references to dispute Ms. White's claims that you abused her." He didn't waste time, Robert thought. Tom took a sip of his coffee and looked down at the notes in front of him. "It's going to be pretty hard for her to prove any of it. Everybody I spoke to backed up your claim that Ms. White abandoned her child and never made any effort to contact her. You have a lot of support in this town, people that believe that it is in Aubree's best interests to remain with you. You have taken care of her basically since birth. Even before Ms. White left town, I hear that she was never around, and often left you taking care of Aubree. We have a lot of character references as well that work in our favor that clearly disputes you ever laid a hand on Ms. White."

"Because I never did," Robert said calmly, gripping the handle of his coffee cup tightly until his knuckles turned white. "I've been raising Aubree on my own since she was born. That has to count for something."

"With the statements we have from the people that know Aubree, coupled with the indisputable fact that you've been raising her on your own, they won't have a leg to stand on." Tom shuffled more papers until he found the court documents he received from Chrissie's lawyer earlier that morning. "I think she's just using a scared tactic to try and coerce you into giving up custody. She knows she can't win in court."

"And that's supposed to make me feel better?" Robert said with a hint of sarcasm that was fueled by his disgust for Chrissie's tactics.

"I understand you're upset, but she is still Aubree's mother and does have rights."

"I'm not letting her take Aubree," Robert said fiercely.

Silently, Tom handed Robert a plain white envelope. Robert ripped it open and read through it before narrowing his eyes.

"They're seriously asking that I allow Chrissie to visit her? Are they crazy? There's no way I'm letting that woman anywhere near my daughter." He let out one violent oath. "Yeah, sure I'll just let her waltz right in and scar Aubree even more than she already has. Chrissie left her, do you have any idea what that's like? She was a baby when it happened but she's started to ask questions that I still don't know how to answer. If I let Chrissie visit her, supervised or not, it's just going to confuse her more. I'm not agreeing to this." He ripped the letter to shreds, not caring that people were starting to stare at him. The anger was vibrating off of him.

"I don't think they have a leg to stand on."

"Is that the truth or are you just saying what you think I want to hear?"

"Just because you're a friend of Aaron's doesn't mean I'll treat you any different than any other client," Tom said shortly.

"Sorry," Robert mumbled. "I'm just on edge."

"You're worried about your little girl." He waved it off. "Now let's talk about the next steps. I pulled a copy of your daughter's birth certificate. The good news is your name is on it. If it wasn't, this situation then becomes a lot more difficult."

"Which means what?"

"This means the judge is only going to look at the welfare of the child. Just because Ms. White is the child's biological mother will hold no bearing. You have as many rights as she does."

"And she's been with me for the last four years, so that counts in our favor, right?"

"Exactly. And like I said before, I don't believe her abuse claims are going to hold up, especially with the all the people backing up your version of events."

"So what now?"

"We have to respond to their petition for a custody hearing. This is the part that I know you may not like, but at some point, the court will want to speak to Aubree."

Robert paled. "No way in hell." He had to force the words out. 

"You're not going to have a choice," Tom said bluntly. 

"This is a nightmare." One he wished he could wake up from. Prickles of apprehension ran down his spine as he considered the alternative. He wouldn't give Aubree up, not to her, not to anybody. If Chrissie wanted a fight, well he would give her one. "I guess I have no other choice. I'm going to have to tell her about Chrissie."

"The sooner the better," Tom agreed.

Robert picked up his coffee and peered at Tom over his cup and watched him make a few more notes on his legal pad.

The coffee was cold now, but he needed to do something with his hands before he used them on someone - or something, and he couldn't afford any more problems.

If Chrissie just expected him to let her walk all over him and not fight for his daughter, she had another thing coming.

* * *

Running cold water in the sink, Robert splashed it on his face. He had to stay calm and alert. He couldn't underestimate Chrissie and her team of vultures. Chrissie was dangerous when cornered, he knew that from experience. So he would let her think he was scared, then he would wait for the opportunity to strike back. 

After his meeting with Tom, he'd gone over to see Vic - who told him the good news that she just found out that she and Adam were going to have a girl. He needed a distraction from the mess that was his life, and this was perfect. And when he finally told her about what was going on, she reacted just as he expected she would: supportive and calling Chrissie every curse word she could think of. He was surprised that she didn't threaten to hunt Chrissie down herself.

But now was the hard part: telling Aubree.

When he sat Aubree down later that night, after he made her an ice cream sundae to try and soften the blow, he told her about Chrissie. Not everything, just enough for a five-year-old to take in. He left out what a vicious and malicious person she was because Chrissie was still her mum as much as he wished she wasn't.

Aubree's reaction surprised him. She wouldn't acknowledge Chrissie by name. To her, this woman that had given birth to her, was a stranger, one that she didn't want to know.

"I don't care. I don't want to see her. Please don't make me." She gripped him tighter. "I want to stay here with you."

"Baby girl, you're not going anywhere," he whispered into her hair as he stroked her blond curls. "I love you so much, you know that right?"

She nodded weakly. Robert wanted to bury his face in his hands, but he had to be strong for Aubree. At least she knew the truth now; he no longer had to skirt around her questions about who her mum was or where she was. 

He wanted to hit something, anything, he was just angry at Chrissie and her vultures who were trying to destroy their lives, trying to use Aubree as a means to get what Chrissie wanted - or thought she wanted. Chrissie didn't really want Aubree - Robert knew that. It was just another way for Chrissie to gain control. Something else to hold over someone to make her feel more powerful.

Well, she wasn't getting Aubree. He would make sure of that.

He sat perfectly still and stared at the wall while Aubree started to doze in his arms. He could lift her up and take her upstairs to bed, but after the events of the past few days, he wanted to hold onto her as long as he could. 

She's here, she's safe. She wants to stay with you. You have nothing to worry about. 

If anything happens to her...

He pushed the thoughts aside. If he was going to stay in control, he couldn't even allow himself the luxury of guilt.

The only sounds in the room were the light snores coming from Aubree. While she slept, he used his free hand to send an email to Tom to let him know Aubree knew about Chrissie.

He thought about calling Aaron, but then remembered that it was probably for the best that he didn't. When Aaron came back, if he came back, he would just tell him that it had been a mistake, that he didn't mean what he said, that it had just been said in the heat of the moment, that his head was all over the place and he wasn't thinking straight.

Yeah, that sounded believable enough.

Even though it was all a lie.

Then they could go back to being what they were before: strangers.


	8. Chapter 8

Aaron owned a nineteen-forty vintage bungalow on the outskirts of London. It was overdue for a paint job and needed a new roof, but it had been home for the last three years. He had a renovation in the works and the contractors were slated to start next month.

He heard the unmistakable creak in the wooden floors as he stepped inside and draped his jacket on the mahogany table in the foyer.

He made his way through the house to the back where his bedroom was and turned the shower on. It had been another long, grueling day that had started way too early. He had spent hours at the studio sitting through audition and audition but now that the role of Christopher had been recast, he could spend a few more hours at his computer going through the revised script the director had sent over, then he could get back to Emmerdale and finish his book. His manager had already booked him a flight for the next morning.

He sat behind his desk, now covered with the final pages of the script. Beside his phone was a hardcover copy of _Finding Your Echo._ His head bent over his keyboard and his eyes glued to the computer screen, he got to work.

His office was minimally furnished with little fuss. He hated fuss. Aside from the oak desk, the only furniture in the room was a black sofa with a blue blanket draped over the back. A few oak framed photographs of his book covers decorated the plain white walls.

He wasn't a fan of the director's attempts at kissing his ass just to get him to sign off on the final script. The man was an asshole, Aaron thought, but he was good at his job. He'd seen it first hand in the studio this morning.

Over the last twenty-four hours, he'd spent most of that in the studio in a small, cramped room listening in on auditions. The director had already been in a foul mood thanks to the brawl between the two main actors which had resulted in him having to make the decision to fire one of the actors. Aaron hadn't exactly been thrilled either that he had to spend hours on end in a small, cramped studio watching audition after audition until the casting director finally made a decision that the rest of the team was happy with.

Now that part was over, all there was left to do was finalize the last few pages of the script. There was a grim line around Aaron's mouth as he read the pages, stress lurking behind his eyes. He had a splitting headache that felt like daggers were piercing into his brain and it was only getting worse. He popped a few aspirin before picking up his book and the script pages where he'd already started making notes in red pen.

_From the other side of the room, Christopher saw the flash of Diane's diamond engagement ring and knew at that moment that Joshua had gone through with it; he had proposed to her. And not even twenty-four hours after Joshua had been under him, writhing and kissing him, begging Christopher to give him another chance._

_Just give me time to sort it out, he'd said. Christopher scoffed at that. Joshua was always delaying telling Diane the truth. He wasn't sure anymore why he kept putting up with Joshua's excuses._

_They were all lies._

_Joshua only wanted him when it was convenient for him. Maybe it was time for him to turn the tables on him. Let him know just how it feels to be lied to, to have it thrown in his face what it feels like to see the lips of the man you love on someone else's._

_But Joshua didn't love him, not really. How can you love someone and hurt them so much at the same time?_

_Christopher approached Charlie, who he knew had been eyeing him ever since he walked into the room. A drink in one hand and a cigar in the other, Charlie blew smoke rings into the air and nodded appreciatively as Christopher got closer to him._

_Two can play at this game, Christopher thought smugly and brushed his lips across Charlie's cheek while Joshua looked on._

_As the night went on, Christopher ignored Joshua's presence and vice versa. But they both knew it wasn't going to be long before they had it out._

_"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Joshua found Christopher just where he knew he'd be - inside the barn. Their secret meeting place._

_"I came here looking for some peace and quiet. Get out," Christopher said angrily. His suit jacket and tie were tossed on a bale of hay. He felt anything but relaxed._

_"This is my land," Joshua said, seething just as much as Christopher was. "What the hell were you doing in there?"_

_"Enjoying myself?"_

_"With your hands all over that guy."_

_"Charlie?" Christopher said his name so innocently Joshua wanted to punch him. But the urge to kiss him was too strong and it outweighed his anger. Before Christopher could react, Joshua's lips were on his own. Christopher pushed him away. "Stop it."_

_"You never complained before."_

_"That was before you got engaged."_

_"It doesn't have to change anything between us."_

_Christopher couldn't believe what he was hearing. "It changes everything, Josh. You and me, we're done."_

_"Don't be like this."_

_"You." Christopher jabbed a finger in Joshua's chest. "You did this, you're the one that changed everything. I'm not going to be your little bit on the side. Not anymore."_

_"Fine. I don't know why I wasted my time with you anyway. I don't love you. You're just a waste of space. Get off my land and out of my sight."_

Aaron cringed, remembering just how similar his breakup with Robert had been to the way he'd written it in the book. It was strange re-living it now so many years later. They had both been so angry and bitter, he mused. He had wanted Robert for himself, and Robert had been too afraid to lose the life he'd become accustomed to.

He had been so wrapped up in his own hurt, he'd left Emmerdale not long after their final confrontation. They had never seen each other again, until now. Their ending had been so abrupt with no goodbye and no closure, which, Aaron admitted, was why he had started to write the book in the first place.

For closure.

He had given Christopher and Joshua the kind of ending he had wanted for him and Robert. An ending that plagued them till this day. 

It wasn't lost on him that maybe it was a sign now that Robert was back in his life that they could re-write their own history.

_Joshua stood in his office, his back to the door, his arms crossed over his chest as he looked out the window at the beautiful London skyline. He had just signed the papers earlier that morning. It was official; he was divorced and free to live his life as he wanted to._

_He'd wasted so much time already. He didn't want to waste another second._

_Despite the way he'd treated Christopher after their affair ended, Christopher had been there for him after the death of his daughter. After Lynsey's death, Joshua and Diane had drifted apart - but if Joshua was honest the marriage had never been solid; it had always been on shaky ground._

_He knew what he wanted now; who he wanted. Christopher had put aside his pesky grievances and supported him like he hadn't given him any reason to hate him. Christopher had never asked for anything in return - and he had let go of whatever animosity he had felt Joshua before, pushing it all aside to support Joshua as he dealt with his grief._

_And they'd grown closer, Joshua thought. Going through the most traumatic time of his life made him finally realize what he had given up and had almost lost. He had never loved Diane, not in the way he should have, not as fiercely as he had loved Christopher. He wasn't ready to face it, Joshua thought now with a tinge of regret. But that changed today. Today was the start of the rest of his life and he knew exactly where he wanted to be for the first time in a long time._

_He grabbed his suit jacket and headed for the door. He took one last look around before walking to the elevator._

_Christopher was waiting for him at the curb, leaning against his silver Porsche._

_How had he ever been ashamed of this man? Joshua wondered as he approached Christopher. He refused to risk them being seen, caught in a compromising position where anyone could have seen the way his eyes warmed, his smile grew, just at the sight of seeing him. But today, he walked right into Christopher's arms and didn't care if anyone was looking at him as he did._

_"It's done, it's over. I'm free." Joshua cradled Christopher's face in his hands and brought their mouths together. "And I love you."_

A few hours later, thoughts plagued him the entire walk to the bar that was just down the street from his house. Even the drum of laughter and noise as he opened the doors didn't stop them.

_What if this is our second chance?_

_But what if he doesn't want me?_

Aaron's gaze rested on the man waiting for him at the bar. He shouldn't have called Oliver, Aaron thought. He should have just stayed home after he'd sent the email off to the scriptwriter and his editor.

He knew what would happen if he showed up. They would have a few drinks and Oliver would casually attempt to flirt with him just like every other time they met up. But as Aaron walked up to the bar he realized Oliver was already a few glasses deep and working on another. Aaron almost turned around and walked back out. Almost.

Aaron wasn't interested in Oliver that way, hadn't been the last twelve times Oliver had made his feelings for Aaron clear. Aaron wanted to be flattered, to be so obviously desired by a man, especially by a successful man like Oliver, but he wasn't. All he felt was emptiness.

Aaron ordered a whiskey from the bartender and leaned against the bar.

Whiskey was going to be his only lover tonight.

Oliver was a solid man, over six feet with whiskey-brown eyes, and thick, dark blond hair. Every man that laid eyes on him wanted him, but Aaron didn't. 

"It's been weeks since I've seen you here," Oliver said, draping an arm casually around Aaron's shoulders. He was already tipsy, the bartender already pouring him another shot of gold liquid.

"Been away," Aaron answered shortly. "Working." He downed his own whiskey.

Oliver was nothing more than a friend who he met up with when he was in London for a casual drink and easy conversation at the last minute. 

Like tonight.

Oliver tugged on his tie; he'd just put in a solid twelve hours at the office and needed to unwind, but he sensed Aaron was wound up about something. Before he could ask Aaron what was up, Aaron's cell phone ruined the moment.

Aaron knocked back another shot and signaled the bartender for another. "Hello?" He could barely hear anything over people trying to talk over the loud music blaring from the speakers.

"Aaron?" Robert could barely make out his voice. He immediately regretted calling him. He was probably out on the town in the company of a tall, handsome stranger. After all, Aaron was famous now and exuded sex appeal. He wouldn't be sitting home alone on a night like this. "Where are you?"

Aaron felt a thrill; a tingle of anticipation at the sound of Robert's voice. He shook it off. "Some bar. Sorry it's really loud here. Give me a minute and I'll step outside." He took the shot glass off the bar and downed it before slamming it back down on the bar. He shot a look in Oliver's direction silently letting him know he would be back, and made his way outside and found a table around the corner from the bar in front of a cafe. "Don't hang up. I'm here."

"I didn't know you were out, sorry, otherwise I wouldn't have called you."

"It's fine, Rob. I just stopped by a bar for a drink."

"How was your day?"

"Long, but productive. All done here. But who cares about me, how are things there? Did you talk to Tom?"

"We met this morning. It went okay, I guess," Robert said, as he paced his living room. He'd just put Aubree to bed. "He says I have nothing to worry about and he's filed a bunch of paperwork so now we're waiting on a court date. But I'm scared, Aaron. He says the court will want to talk to Aubree." He took a deep breath. "I had to tell her about Chrissie. She took it better than I expected."

"What did she say?"

"She told me she doesn't want to talk to her or see her that she wants to stay with me. She got so upset when I told her that Chrissie wanted to see her. She's scared that the court is going to take her away from me."

"You'll get through it," Aaron said, trying to reassure him because he knew that's what Robert needed right now. "I have a flight booked for tomorrow morning." His bags were already packed, waiting by the front door for his early morning flight. He should go home and go to bed, he mused. Four a.m. was going to come fast.

Robert felt his body respond just from hearing Aaron's voice. He tried to tamper it down. "I'm sorry about before, you know what I said. I know I probably freaked you out." _And that's why I haven't heard from you._ Robert knew that was why Aaron hadn't called him, though they both tried to pretend it wasn't.

"You did freak me out a little," Aaron admitted. "But that's not---"

Robert sighed. "I'm sorry. Just forget I said anything, alright? I didn't mean to say it. I was just upset and you were being so nice trying to help me. Can we just forget it please?"

Silence.

"Aaron, are you still there?"

"Yeah." Robert was backpedaling again, just like he had done before. Maybe he hadn't changed after all. He couldn't go through this again. It had taken too many years the first time getting over him. His heart couldn't handle having to do it a second time. "I have to go," he said, hoping to end this conversation, and his humiliation before he said something he was going to regret.

"Aaron---"

"It was a mistake, I know. You don't have to keep saying it."

"Why do I get the feeling you're mad?"

"Because you're doing it again. Saying you love me then taking it back. Sound familiar?"

"That's not what I'm doing. And I don't want to talk about this with you over the phone."

"Then why did you call me?"

Aaron was angry, Robert realized in a panic. He had just been trying to avoid any awkwardness between them. He had a huge custody fight ahead of him and he needed all the support he could get. And Aaron wasn't sticking around after he was finished with his book, so what was the point of trying to start something up with him again when he knew Aaron would be leaving? Aaron was famous now, why would he want someone that hurt everything he touched?

Robert took a deep breath to brace himself before he spoke again. He didn't want Aaron upset with him. Maybe it was time to just be honest. "It wasn't a mistake, I just know it was a stupid thing to say. I know that as soon as your book is done you'll be going back to London and I have Aubree. My home is here."

"I can write from anywhere, you know." He already had a house in Emmerdale, though he had originally only planned for it to be temporary. But he could make it permanent if he wanted it to. "There are times I have to travel, but I don't have to live in London." If Robert gave him a good enough reason to stay, would he? Would he uproot his entire life and move back to Emmerdale? Was he being foolish, falling for Robert and his little girl? He could keep his house in London, go there to write when life got too hectic. He could do up the spare room for Aubree. He could show her Buckingham Palace, take her on a tour of the city on a double-decker bus. 

_Whoa, slow down,_ he told himself.

He spent a lot of time in London for book signings and his publisher had her office there, but that didn't mean he couldn't live somewhere else. He could make it work.

They could make it work.

He was actually considering moving back to Emmerdale. To be with Robert and Aubree.

Was he crazy?

"I just don't want to move too fast," Robert admitted. "I have Aubree to worry about. I don't want to bring someone into her life that's just going to leave again."

"Who says I would leave? I don't know if you know this, but I'm quite fond of her."

"She's already becoming attached to you. Aaron, I don't want to mess this up again like I did the first time. I can't risk her heart being broken." _And mine,_ he added silently.

"We don't have to decide anything right now. This isn't the kind of conversation we should be having over the phone."

"I know. Are you free tomorrow? Aubree's been asking when you're coming back. We could order in a pizza, watch a movie if you're up for it. But I know you'll probably be exhausted, so if you want----"

"Rob, stop rambling. I'll text you when I land and we can sort it. I got her something."

"You didn't have to do that."

"I wanted to. Look, I don't want the first time I tell you this to be over the phone, so just let me tell you tomorrow yeah? I want you to hear it." The whine of the traffic made it hard to have a conversation over the phone. 

Robert swallowed, then smiled into the phone before he could help it. Just hearing Aaron's voice heightened his senses. He heard his own heart beating, felt his blood pulse through his veins. He wondered if Aaron could sense it. "See you tomorrow."

Aaron hung up and jogged through the curtain of rain back home, furious with himself. He felt fear - a dark, gnawing dread that was eating away at him when he realized that everything he did, everywhere he turned, he saw Robert.

Only Robert.

It wasn't until he got back home that he realized he'd left Oliver alone at the bar.


	9. Chapter 9

Payback was a bitch, Robert thought glumly.

He had spent years lying to himself, hurting people he cared about in an attempt to hide who he really was. And now his little girl, the center of his world, was paying for his sins.

Everything was crashing down around him and the perfect little life he'd created for them was about to go up in smoke, and he was powerless to stop it.

Robert was on the phone getting the latest update from Tom while Aubree drew a picture at the kitchen table. The conditions Chrissie was trying to impose upon him in exchange for full rights to Aubree were making him angry. Tom assured him that he was digging deeper into Chrissie's past hoping that they would discover something that would force her hand and make a custody hearing unnecessary. Robert had no doubt that she had secrets buried down deep that she didn't want anyone to dig out.

He kept his voice low as he paced the kitchen so Aubree wouldn't pick up on the tension in his voice. It seemed that Chrissie was slowly backing off, but she using Aubree as a pawn until Robert met her demands. He kept silent as Tom continued to talk, keeping his disdain for Chrissie and the tactics her lawyers were using to try to get anything from him they could get their hands on to himself.

As the conversation got more heated, Robert decided it was better if Aubree wasn't in earshot. Satisfied that she was okay on her own for a few minutes, he went upstairs.

"Listen, I don't care what you have to do or how unethical it is, dig up what you can on her. She's got family with money and power. I have no doubt that she's been getting help from her old man. He would love to see me go down."

"I already have my people on it. If the family is hiding any deep dark secrets, we'll find them."

"Good because this is really starting to piss me off."

"I'll check in with you later. Say hi to Aaron for me." Then Tom ended the call.

They could take it all even if it left him broke, which he expected was her plan all along, to fulfill her obsessive need to exact revenge against him for whatever the hell he had done to her. It still made no sense to him. What had he done other than love her, marry her, and give her a child that she hadn't wanted? She could have everything he owned, but she would not get her hands on Aubree. No way in hell.

How, he wondered, could a mother be so cold, willing to hurt her own child just so she could make her ex-husband's life a living hell? Aubree was just a means to an end so Chrissie could get what she wanted. That was always the bottom line with Chrissie. Her needs came first above everyone else's.

But Aubree's needs, Robert put those above his own. He couldn't risk playing hardball with Chrissie; not with his daughter's future at stake.

Chrissie was like a slithering snake, deadly and poisonous, slowly destroying everything in her path.

 _Selfish bitch,_ he muttered under his breath.

He hated her for what she was doing to Aubree. Because of the wheels she had put in motion, Aubree was having trouble sleeping, often waking up in the middle of the night crying for him. He'd spent the past two nights in Aubree's bedroom, rocking her to sleep before curling up on the chair in her room, too afraid to leave her on her own. Her cries pierced his heart, which had resulted in little to no sleep for him.

He would never forgive Chrissie for this. She might as well just rip his heart open and let it bleed. That's what watching Aubree suffer felt like.

But Chrissie didn't care. Selfish bitch, he thought again.

He should have known she had ulterior motives. This wasn't about Aubree, it never was. Chrissie was still as cold as ever, demanding that Robert pay if she was going to relinquish her rights to their daughter so they could go on living their lives the way they had been. 

Chrissis always wanted, no matter the pain it caused other people.

How had he fallen in love with someone like that, someone so heartless and malicious? Had he been that blinded that he hadn't been able to see the real woman behind the mask she so cleverly wore that didn't care about anyone but herself?

She wanted money. Lots of it. Money had always been the bottom line with Chrissie, he mused. And it hadn't been that long ago that he had been that selfish, as consumed with the almighty dollar as she was.

But then Aubree had been born and his entire world had been tilted onto its axis, changing his entire life, his viewpoint.

Nothing had ever been the same.

It hadn't been a sacrifice. Love had expanded in Robert's chest the minute he had laid his eyes on her. His daughter had made him feel things he didn't know were possible. The minute Aubree had been born, his life had altered forever. Holding her squalling, brand-new life in his hands had spun his perspective completely. The first time he'd looked into her eyes, he had known his life would never be the same.

 _He_ would never be the same.

But as Chrissie had pointed out in their countless heated arguments, she didn't want the baby. The word _adoption_ was brought up often, but Robert always shot it down. He refused to acknowledge the notion. He wanted the baby even if she didn't.

That had been the beginning of the end of their marriage.

After his call with Tom ended, he ordered the pizza. Aaron would be around any minute and he had to go back downstairs and check on Aubree.

He couldn't resist the urge to check the latest entertainment gossip while he was waiting.

_Is Bestselling novelist Aaron Dingle off the market? He's once again being linked to actor Oliver Brown after the two were spotted at a bar in London. Aaron Dingle's rep has declined to comment. He is currently back in the small village of Emmerdale where he grew up as he finishes his latest book. He has been spotted in London in the last few days as the film adaption of his book, Finding Your Echo, begins production._

He wished everyone would just mind their own fucking business. 

Everyone was buzzing about the movie. Robert, not so much. He wasn't exactly looking forward to seeing that part of his life, a part he wished he could forget, on the big screen for the whole world to see.

Robert shut off his phone. He'd had enough for one day. And Aaron was on his way over for dinner and a movie with him and Aubree, and the last thing he wanted was for the atmosphere to be awkward. And anyway, it wasn't his business what went on in Aaron's personal life.

Aaron wasn't his, he'd lost his right to call him that years ago. But after their conversation yesterday...

_Fuck. Stop reading into it._

But he couldn't, his heart wouldn't let him. Aaron's words rang in his ears, loud and clear. _I don't want the first time I tell you this to be over the phone. I want you to hear it._

* * *

Aaron wasn't sure why he felt hesitant as his car turned down the lane. Two long rows of trees lined the gravel and dirt drive leading to Robert's house.

He turned between the brick pillars, pausing midway down the long drive before deciding it was just dinner and a movie and there was nothing for him to be nervous about.

Except he was. They had to talk. He had to tell Robert how he felt, and it had to be tonight.

Aubree was excited as a kid on Christmas morning when she opened the door to find Aaron on the other side. She straightened her yellow sunflower sundress and launched herself into his arms.

She squealed in delight when he spun her around. When he set her back on her feet, she pouted. "Again," she said.

Looking into her eyes, Aaron realized it was going to be hard to refuse her anything when she looked at him like that. So he obliged her. When he set her back down, she slipped her hand into his.

"Daddy ordered pizza," she told him as she dragged him further inside the house. "Do you like ham and pineapple?" She scrunched up her nose in disgust. "I hate it, but it's Daddy's favorite."

Aaron sensed it the minute he saw Robert coming down the stairs, phone in his ear. "Fuck that. Just sort it," he barked through the phone. "I don't care what it takes." He was angry, Aaron realized, and he felt sorry for whoever was on the unfortunate end of the other line. "Hi," he said, his tone softening immediately when he saw Aaron. 

One word - that was all it took for Aaron's brain to forget how to function properly. Angry Robert wasn't unattractive. "Hi," he managed. He almost forgot Aubree was in the room until she was tugging on his hand again.

Something had happened and it wasn't good. It was like an explosion that split the peaceful air. Alarm bells rang in the back of Aaron's head.

Robert's head was somewhere else. If it wasn't for the fact that it would upset Aubree, Aaron might have turned around and walked back out. But Aaron was worried about Robert. The last thing he looked like he wanted was company.

* * *

They ate pizza and watched Frozen, with Aubree sitting in between them on the sofa singing every word to every song at the top of her lungs. She was fast asleep against Robert's shoulder by the time the credits rolled. Robert carried her upstairs and tucked her into bed before going back downstairs.

Aaron was leaning against the sofa, arms crossed over his chest. "Now that she's in bed, you want to tell me what happened today? And don't say nothing because it was written all over your face when I walked in here."

In the blink of an eye, the anger he'd felt seconds earlier vanished. Suddenly tired, he rubbed his hands over his face. "Chrissie's lawyers are playing dirty. She's not giving up without a fight. I told Tom that there are skeletons lurking in her closet, and Lawrence's. So he's digging into her past. I have to fight fire with fire."

"You really think that's a good idea? You know how vindictive Lawrence can be. You're risking a hell of a lot."

"I'm doing this for Aubree. She's my responsibility and I refuse to let anyone take her from me. Do you have any idea what this would do to her? She's not sleeping, Aaron. I'm not sleeping. This is a whole fucking mess and I just want it over." He went to step around Aaron, but Aaron reached out and grabbed his wrist, hauling Robert back to face him.

"Don't," Aaron said softly. "Calm down. You don't want to wake her up. You can't let Aubree see you like this."

"Why are you taking her side?" Robert's frosty response was making Aaron second-guess saying anything.

"I'm not," Aaron insisted. "I'm just trying to be there for you the only way I know how, by making you see sense. You need to step back and take a deep breath. You acting out of spite like this, getting angry is just going to upset Aubree. Don't let her win, Rob."

Robert's jaw twitched. "Don't you think I don't know that? I can't keep her safe, Aaron. I have no control over this. A judge will decide who raises my daughter unless I give Chrissie what she wants."

Aaron gently tugged Robert back to him and grazed his thumb over the back of Robert's hand. "Then give her what she wants, end this."

Then they both heard the whimpering from the top of the stairs.

Aubree had heard everything.

* * *

Aubree knew the conversation she was overhearing wasn't for her ears. She didn't understand half of what her daddy and Aaron were saying, but she was old enough and smart enough to figure out for herself that her daddy was sad and scared.

Someone else would decide where she would live, who would take care of her.

Why couldn't she just stay here? She only wanted her daddy, no one else.

They couldn't make her go, could they? She trembled with fear, clutching her stuffed bunny to her chest while they stared at her. Robert tried to reach for her, but she was already running down the stairs, tears rolling down her cheeks.

She was out the door before either of them could stop her.

"Stay here," Aaron said.

"Where the hell are you going?" Robert demanded.

"After your daughter. You're in no shape to go after her yourself. Calm yourself down first." Aaron was already halfway to the door, pulling his jacket on.

* * *

Aaron entered the cool shade of the barn. Aubree was crying in the corner on a bale of hay, clinging on to her stuffed bunny like it was a lifeline. Aaron crouched down so they were face to face.

"Are you okay?" he asked her quietly.

Aubree hugged the bunny tight. "I want my Daddy. I don't want to go with her. She's a stranger. Please don't make me go."

"Shh, princess, it's going to be okay." He covered her trembling hand with his own. "You're not going anywhere, okay? Your Dad won't let anyone take you away from him. He loves you too much." He turned her face to his chest. She wrapped her arms around his body. She felt safe with him, Aaron thought, and it warmed his heart. Her sobs became quieter until the only sound in the barn was the rattling of the barn door as Robert rushed inside.

The scene that greeted him pulled at his heartstrings. "Aubree," he said softly. "Sweetheart, why did you run off like that?"

Aubree started to cry again, her sobs rendering her incapable of speaking. She had only wanted to hide so no one would take her away. There were so many trees around and she was small, she could stay hidden away until it was safe to come out.

Robert's eyes were bloodshot from his own tears. Filled with the pain of knowing he couldn't protect his baby girl, not with the weapons Chrissie was using to try and destroy him.

Aaron soothed Aubree by rubbing her back and whispering words into her ear hoping that it would help calm her fears. In a matter of days, he realized, he had fallen in love with this little girl, and seeing her cry was like a knife piercing his skin.

Robert crossed the straw-covered floor and knelt in front of Aubree. He could see the tears rolling down her cheeks and reached up and used his thumb to wipe them away. "I'm not going to let anything happen to you, I promise you. I've never broken a promise to you, have I?"

Aubree shook her head, then hiccuped. More tears ran down her face as she buried her face into Aaron's neck. 

Aaron glanced up at Robert, where he could see the pain clear as day. "Rob, let's get her back home and into bed. She's exhausted and so are you. You both need sleep."

Robert stopped his imagination from conjuring up the images of Aubree being dragged away from him as he watched, helpless, powerless to stop it. He could only nod and watched as Aaron lifted Aubree into his arms. What had he done to deserve this man?

Aubree's lips trembled as her tiny arms circled Aaron's neck and held tight. The three of them walked together the short distance back to the house.

Her teary nod as he tucked her into bed and sang her favorite song sliced his heart into pieces. He hugged her close and kissed her forehead before leaving her room, silently praying she would be able to sleep through the night.

They both needed it.

* * *

The thought of losing Aubree gripped Robert with enough fear to stop his heart. 

The house was silent as Robert came down the stairs and found Aaron typing a message on his phone. 

Robert looked exhausted, Aaron thought. The fatigue hadn't faded from his eyes and he looked like he was going to collapse from the pressure he was under. Aaron moved away from the wall where he'd been leaning to respond to Leslie's latest email. He had managed to put her off for another few days, but sooner or later he had to get back to work, he had deadlines to keep.

But right now everything he cared about was in this house.

He needed to be sure Robert was going to be okay. He couldn't, wouldn't leave him on his own like this.

"Let me pour you a drink." Aaron went to the liquor cabinet and poured Robert a shot of whiskey. "What does Chrissie want?"

Robert sat at the kitchen table, picked up the shot glass and swirled the liquid before downing it. "The bitch wants money and half of my haulage company in exchange for signing over rights to my daughter."

Aaron felt numbness wash over him. The horror of the situation was too much for his mind to process. Aaron could only imagine that the pain of losing Aubree was too much to bear. The scene in the barn was etched into his mind. The pain in the eyes of the father and of the daughter haunted him.

Aaron came up behind Robert and put his hands on Robert's shoulders, trying to remove some of the tension. He didn't need Robert to say the words to know how much pain he was in. 

Robert couldn't envision his life without Aubree. If he had to give Chrissie every penny he had, he would. But giving up half of his company, everything he spent the last few years working for? 

All of the volatile emotions that had been simmering beneath the surface since Tom's call earlier were threatening to erupt. He didn't want Aaron to see him like this; so angry, so broken. 

"I want to wring her fucking neck," Robert growled, his fierce gaze focused on his empty glass, unable to meet Aaron's eyes. 

Robert hadn't pushed him away, so Aaron continued to rub his shoulders, trying to release some of the tightness he felt there. "She's not going to get away with it."

"How do you know that?" Robert demanded, looking at him now. "You don't know that they won't take her from me."

"You're right, I can't promise that," Aaron murmured. 

Robert ignored the pain twisting his heart and stood up, pushing the chair back out of frustration. "This is killing me, Aaron. If I lose her..."

And when Robert fell into his arms and clung, Aaron just held him.

* * *

Every time he thought about what Chrissie was trying to do to his family, he wanted to slam his fist through the nearest wall.

He closed his bedroom door, and the sound seemed as loud as a gunshot as he shut himself away and prayed they both got some sleep tonight. But as he stood there with his fingers tight around the handle, he knew that while he may be able to shut the door on the world outside, for a moment, the one thing he couldn’t escape was his mind.

He shut his eyes and took in a deep breath and let it out, trying to banish from it the phone calls, the terror and sadness in his daughter’s eyes, and the passion he saw in Aaron’s. But it was no use, and as it all began to spiral out of control, his legs began to shake, and he had to lean against the door to keep himself upright.

Why was Chrissie doing this to him? Had he done something to provoke her? That was impossible. They hadn’t seen each other for almost four years.

She wanted him to suffer, that much was obvious. She wanted his blood. He wasn’t sure what to do with that.

When he was sure that his legs wouldn’t give out from under him, he let go of the handle and made himself cross to the bathroom to have a quick shower. He kicked off his shoes and quickly stripped, and as he turned on the spray and the warm water cascaded over him, he stepped under it and closed his eyes.

The last thing he needed was to have a panic attack and pass out. He could hear Aaron downstairs tidying up, at his insistence. The last thing he needed was for Aaron to find him naked and unconscious on the tile floor.

Aaron was a whole other problem he hadn’t been prepared for. An unexpected problem who was saying all the right things at all the right times, just being there when he needed someone, and making him feel things he hadn’t felt in years.

He tipped his face up into the spray and tried to push aside the images of Aaron consoling Aubree and the way she had responded to him like she'd known him all her life. He also tried to forget the way Aaron’s body brushed against his. He felt his body stiffen in response, and he knew he was losing that battle.

Things had shifted between them, and he hadn’t been prepared for it. It wasn’t going away. If anything, it was intensifying, and the more time he spent around Aaron, the more Robert wanted him.

He stepped out of the shower and quickly dried off, and listened just in case there were any sounds coming from Aubree’s room down the hall. When all he heard was silence, he took it as a good sign. He crawled underneath the covers and laid there staring at the ceiling, hoping that maybe a few hours of sleep would help clear his head.

Maybe that would help put things back where they belonged with Aaron, because right now, as his world was spinning out of control, the only thing that made any sense, other than Aubree, was how safe he felt when Aaron was close.

* * *

After checking on Aubree, Aaron made his way down the hall and stopped outside Robert’s door and softly knocked. When there was no response, he pushed open the door just a crack, and looked inside and made out Robert’s body underneath the covers.

But he wasn’t asleep.

“Hey,” Robert said, sitting up. “Come in.”

“Are you sure?” Aaron asked, but found himself stepping inside and shutting the door. “I just wanted to check on you before I left.”

“I’m finding it hard to drift off. Too much going on up here.” He tapped the side of his head.

Aaron’s eyes had fallen to Robert’s exposed skin as he sat there with just a sheet draped across his lap.

“Aaron?”

“Huh?” Aaron’s eyes flew back to Robert’s, unaware he’d been staring.

“I said thanks for everything you did tonight. You were great with Aubree.”

“You don’t have to thank me.” Aaron walked across the room and stood at the foot of the bed. Robert could feel his palms sweat and his pulse beat faster the closer Aaron got. Aaron shoved his hands in the pockets of his jeans to keep them from doing something stupid.

_Focus, Aaron. Focus._

“I’m glad I was here to help. I just wish there was more I could do.”

Robert shoved back the covers and swung his legs over the edge of the bed. Aaron was more than a little relieved when he saw that Robert was wearing loose grey pants.

At least he wasn’t naked.

Robert shot to his feet but lost his balance. Before Aaron could think twice about it, he reached for him before Robert could fall to the floor.

“Careful.” As Robert clutched at his arms and steadied himself, he looked up into Aaron’s eyes, and the pain he saw made his heartache. “Listen to me. I want you to get back into bed, close your eyes, and try to forget about all of this for a few hours.”

“But---“

“Shh.” Aaron pressed a finger against Robert’s lips. “Do what I tell you.” He lowered his hand.

Robert tried for a half-smile, but failed.

“You’re exhausted. Get in bed, Rob.”

As Aaron continued to hold him, Robert stared up at him with an expression that he couldn’t quite decipher, then Robert straightened and Aaron let him go.

“I’m going to go home so you can get some rest. I just checked on Aubree, she’s out like a light snoring away.” As Aaron watched Robert crawl back into bed, he ignored the intense desire to lie down next to him. But instead, he did the smart thing and left the room.

* * *

Robert finally managed to drift off to sleep.

_His feet slapped against the pavement and his heart pounded out an accompanying rhythm as he ran full speed down the road. The sun had just set, and as the night closed in, all signs of life vanished from the night._

_With his legs pumping and his chest heaving, he scanned the shadows for her, but all he saw was a vast void._

_He needed to find her. But as his eyes strained against the never-ending stretch of darkness that seemed to be closing in, he felt his terror intensify. Perspiration seemed to pour from every inch of his skin and his nerves were strung tight. Beneath his clothes, he was sweating. From exertion, from fear. He swiped at the moisture in his eyes and drew in a long, calming breath._

_Then he saw her._

_Chrissie had her, and she was grinning. “She’s mine now.”_

_His heart nearly stopped._

_“Aubree,” he cried as they disappeared from view._

“Robert. Robert!”

Aaron’s voice yanked him out of his nightmare, and as he gripped the blankets and sat up in bed, his eyes darted around the room filled with shadows. It was still dark out. When Aaron sat down beside him, he slowly made out Aaron’s silhouette in the darkness.

Was this part of the dream too? Robert wondered. He thought Aaron had gone home. And why did he have no shirt on? As his mind tried to register that alarming piece of information, Aaron caressed his face.

“It’s okay. You’re okay,” Aaron said, his voice soft, though it did nothing to ease Robert’s already thumping heart.

Robert’s eyes flickered around the room again, but when Aaron brushed his thumb across his cheek, Robert turned back to him.

The concern swirling in Aaron’s dark eyes made Robert tremble. “It was just a bad dream.”

“What are you doing here?” The only thing he knew for sure was how close, and how close to naked, Aaron was.

“That must have been some dream. Do you want to talk about it?”

“No.”

Aaron rubbed his thumb gently over the back of Robert’s hand. Robert couldn’t understand how such a simple gesture was so comforting. It felt natural. It felt…right.

“I’m not sure I’ve said this enough,” Robert said, and licked at his lower lip. “But thank you for being here.”

Aaron’s lip quirked. “In your bedroom?”

“I meant my house, but I guess right now my bedroom yeah.”

“I was going to leave but I knew you needed your rest and I wanted to be here in case Aubree woke up. I wasn’t going to leave you on your own.”

Robert felt his heart trip over itself. _Jesus,_ Robert thought _._ When did he develop the ability to make it do that?

“You need me, and for that reason alone, I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.”

Robert could only nod. And it wasn’t until Aaron placed a hand over his that he realized he’d been trailing his fingers up and down Aaron’s arm.

“Sorry,” Robert muttered, and went to pull his hand free. But Aaron’s fingers tightened, keeping them in place.

“Don’t be. I like it.”

“Aaron…”

“Rob.”

 _Damn._ His name on Aaron’s tongue sounded so damn good.

“Lie back down and close your eyes. Maybe you’ll get some more sleep if I’m here beside you,” Aaron said.

Doubtful, Robert thought. Highly, highly doubtful. But he shifted, the sheets on the empty side of the bed cool as they slid over his warm skin. He heard the sheets rustle as Aaron crawled into bed beside him. He turned his head on the pillow and made out the strong lines of Aaron’s profile.

“So, you wanna talk about it now? That must have been some nightmare. You were breathing really hard like you were running a marathon. Doesn’t take a genius to figure out what you were running from.”

Robert tried to play it off, tried to act like it was just a random dream, but he couldn’t manage it. The way Aaron was staring at him, he found himself wanting to tell Aaron everything.

And when Aaron tucked a hand under his chin, Robert broke down. “She took her.” Before he realized what he was doing, he buried his head in Aaron’s neck just as Aubree had done earlier that night.

He had never been like this, Robert thought. Never this vulnerable with anyone else. He’d always made it a point to keep his guard up, but as he laid there so close to Aaron, he found himself opening up to him just like he had all those years ago.

“She’s not going to take her from you,” Aaron said so quietly Robert barely heard him. “I’m not going to let her.”

“I feel such intense fucking rage.” As the word tumbled off his tongue, Aaron only pulled him closer. “I could murder her for this. I feel utterly and completely useless. She could take everything from me. This was her plan all along. I don’t understand it.”

The blankets shifted, and Aaron moved closer to him. Aaron’s fingers tightened around Robert’s, offering reassurance.

“Feeling emotions like weakness, anger, and helplessness? They don’t make you less of a man, Rob. They’re what make you human.”

Robert swallowed around the lump in his throat and felt his heart begin to race.

“I’m sorry,” Robert said. “I don’t know why I keep doing this, breaking down on you, forcing you to listen to my problems. I know I’m keeping you from writing your book and I hate that. I’m fine, just go home and get back to work. We’ll be fine.”

“No,” Aaron said as he brought his hand up to Robert’s chest. “I’m not leaving.” His book, his career, they could wait. Everything else could too. He flattened his palm over Robert’s heart.

The feel of Aaron’s hand on his bare skin did nothing to calm Robert’s racing heart.

“Aaron…” There was no mistaking the breathy catch in his voice. “What are we doing here?”

 _Thump. Thump. Thump._ Robert’s heart was beating so loud that he was surprised Aaron couldn’t hear it.

Aaron could smell the soap and shampoo Robert had used in the shower, and as the scent wrapped around him, he stopped thinking about Robert as just a friend. They were long past that now. All he could think about was how right it felt to be here, to be with Robert in his bed.

_Fuck._

As he trailed his fingers along Robert’s jaw, Aaron realized there was no turning back. He knew where his heart was. “I don’t know. All I do know is I don’t want to leave you or Aubree. But it’s not just about wanting to protect you. I think it’s you, and I think it’s me. Tell me you haven’t thought about what’s been going on between us since I came back.”

Robert swallowed, but said nothing.

“You can’t, can you?”

“It doesn’t matter. We can’t go back there. That was a lifetime ago. You and I are different people. Whatever you think you’re feeling---“

“What I _think_ I’m feeling?” Aaron reached for his chin and angled Robert’s face so his mouth was hovering over Robert’s. “So these feelings that I have for you, they’re not real? Is that what you’re trying to tell me?”

“I didn’t say that. I just want to make sure that you---“

Before Robert could finish, Aaron’s mouth was on his. Robert froze and shoved him back, and for a split second Aaron wondered if he’d read him completely wrong – then it happened.

Robert lunged forward, crashed his mouth down on top of Aaron’s, and took his lips in a kiss that left them both wanting more.

Hard. Rough. And full of pent-up desire. When Robert’s tongue slid along Aaron’s lower lip seeking permission, Aaron opened up to him in a heartbeat.

Robert moaned low in his throat as his tongue slipped past that first barrier, and when he delved his fingers into Aaron’s hair and Aaron arched his back into his touch, their bodies came into direct and very intimate contact.

“Shit,” Aaron said against Robert’s lips, then pulled his mouth free. The taste of Robert on his lips only made him want more.

“Aaron, we need to stop.”

It took a second for Aaron to register Robert’s words, but when he did the first thing that entered his mind was that he had done something wrong, that Robert didn’t want him like that anymore, that too much time had passed.

“You don’t want me?”

“What?” Robert shook his head. “No, it’s not that. But this complicates things and we both have a lot going on right now. I have to concentrate on Aubree and you have your career.”

“Screw my career.”

Robert looked at him, a frown deeply etched between his eyebrows. “Don’t say that.”

“Why? Because it scares you?”

“Because it’s not true. Aaron, you’ve worked your ass off for your success. I’m not going to stand in the way of that.” Robert let out a breath. “I’m a package deal. Where I go, Aubree goes. Raising a kid is not easy.”

“I’m well aware of that, and in case you don’t know, I’m crazy about her.”

Emotions were running high, there was no way Aaron meant what he was saying. He would risk his career for a family life here with him?

“You really don’t get it, do you?” At Robert’s blank stare, Aaron rubbed his hands over his face. “Ever since I came back I’ve been fighting with myself, so afraid that you’ll just run again. There’s never been anyone else for me. I tried to make it work with other guys, but no one else came close. Nothing – nothing compares to how I feel about you. It never has.”

Robert’s emotions were so explosive they nearly ignited the sheets. Aaron had reawakened his body with just one kiss. He had felt it in Aaron’s kiss – he was all in.

And God, he wanted to be, too. But first, he had to deal with Chrissie. After that….

“We don’t have to talk about this anymore tonight,” Aaron said as he got up from the bed. “Get some sleep.”

Then he was gone. 


	10. Chapter 10

That night had been a mistake, one he wasn't going to make again.

Robert had made it clear: they were never going to work. Too much was at stake for both of them, and he wasn't willing to take the risk, not when he had a child to think about. Aubree came first and Aaron understood that. But Aaron had felt it in his kiss, the way Robert's body had molded into his, the sounds in his throat as their bodies had come into close contact. They had both wanted it.

But needs overtook wants, and right now Robert needed to protect his daughter. He was in for the fight of his life and he couldn't get sidetracked or he would lose her forever, and he couldn't let that happen. 

It was time to make a clear break. Aaron wasn't going to wait around for Robert to change his mind. He'd be waiting forever.

So after that night in Robert's room, Aaron knew what he had to do; he needed to keep his distance and diving head first back into finishing his book was a good place to start. And that's what he was here for right? Robert pushing him away had somehow lit a spark inside him and had his creative juices flowing. He spent the next three days locked up in his flat writing, only taking breaks to sleep and eat. He figured another week tops and he would be finished, then he could go back to London, back to living the life he'd been living before. Away from Robert, away from the torture he felt in his bones every time Robert was near him.

He'd already emailed off his latest draft to Leslie. When the book was done he could concentrate on his next project and his upcoming fifteen city book tour. In the middle of all that there would be dealing with all the press for the movie, and the premiere that was slated for five months from now. His career was boming, and the light was going to be shone on him for the next six months. He was barely going to have five minutes to himself with his busy schedule, so maybe Robert had been right.

They never would have worked. They were different people now, both of them leading their own separate lives; lives that weren't meant to intertwine.

He'd left London to get away from the fame, the constant living under a microscope. To escape from the high pressures of being in the spotlight.

The rumors had resurfaced again. He'd seen the headlines, and cursed the reporters that knew nothing about him or his life, that only used him to sell their cheap magazines.

_Is Aaron Dingle finally off the market?_

_Aaron Dingle and actor Oliver Brown spotted together at a bar in London._

_After his affair with married director Dale Zimmerman ended disastrously, Aaron Dingle has found love again._

If they only knew, he thought. What would the world think if they knew that the man he had found love with wasn't a rich, successful actor but a hard working single father who was fighting to keep his little girl away from the clutches of his conniving ex-wife?

A man that didn't want him.

Him, Aaron Dingle. The man who they said could have any man he wanted and had millions of men lusting after him.

They said he was sexy and confident, the kind of man everyone notices. He was the real deal, a catch. 

Aaron snorted at that.

He sat near the window on a padded leather chair and slammed the cover of his laptop down. Whatever happened to reporting the truth? he wondered, because there wasn't any in the articles being printed about him. 

The tension was evident in the stiffness in his neck. He rubbed the back of it as his phone buzzed.

His jaw became solid granite as he struggled silently with what to do as he stared at the message on the screen.

_Aaron, why won't you talk to me? Is this because of the other night? I didn't mean to upset you._

Of course he knew Robert hadn't meant to upset him, but that didn't change things, did it? As much as he wanted to call Robert, to see him, it would only make leaving harder. 

And he was leaving. Soon.

Another message.

_Aubree misses you._

Shit. Robert didn't play fair.

He was trying to do the right thing by staying away. Why was Robert making it so difficult when he was the one who had started this by telling him that they couldn't do this, that they didn't have a future together? He struggled to make sense between what Robert had said the other night and what his actions were conveying now. Robert was full of contradictions, confusing him, leaving him frustrated.

He studied the papers thrown around on his makeshift desk as if they were the most interesting thing in the world and avoided looking at his phone. His fingers were itching to reply to Robert's messages, but he knew it would be a mistake if he did.

But he couldn't stop worrying about Aubree and what this whole custody dispute was doing to her. He had seen the terror in her eyes that night in the barn, and the way she had held on tight to him nearly broke his heart and expanded it at the same time.

He tried to ignore the voices in his head. They thundered in his ears, reverberated through his head and echoed so loudly they were impossible to drown out. He could feel his resolve start to change. Robert was the one seeking him out this time, ignoring the voice of reason, desperate to let Aaron know he needed him without saying the words.

He knew he had to leave. And the sooner the better.

When he left Emmerdale and returned to his life in London, he would be leaving a part of his heart behind.

* * *

Love. It was funny how a four letter word could bring on such an onslaught of emotions. Happiness, desire, anger even fear, Robert thought as he sat behind his desk and tried to calm his erratic heartbeat. It could make anyone run scared, just like he had six years ago when he'd been so afraid to face his feelings for Aaron.

This time it had been Aaron that had done the running.

Aaron had practically ran out of his bedroom in a hurry to be free of the suddently suffocating confines of his bedroom. And now, as he sat alone replaying Aaron's words, he stared down at his phone willing Aaron to text him back.

Nothing.

Robert could hardly blame Aaron for not answering. He had put his foot in it by putting a stop to what had been going on between them. His stomach was in knotts, then flipped over iteself time and time again. Robert willed himself to breathe. 

He was the dumbest motherfucker on the planet. 

_Fucking hell._

He knew that love made you do some stupid shit, but pushing Aaron away when all he wanted to do was hold onto him and beg him never to let go made him wonder what the hell was wrong with him.

_God, what if I can't fix this?_

The thought made him feel miserable. He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to stop the room was spinning, but all it did was bring back the look on Aaron's face when Robert had shot him down.

_Damn it._

He turned his phone over, no longer able to look at it. Why had he let his fear of the unknown ruin them again? 

He'd really messed things up this time. He could make it right, he still had time, and he wanted to more then he wanted his last breath.

He placed his head in his hands and shut his eyes again, and tried to ignore the pounding in his head.

Maybe the five shots of whiskey last night hadn't been the smartest idea he'd ever had.

Who could blame him? On top of his problems with Aaron, he had spent the day before in Tom's stuffy office being told that they were getting nowhere in their search for skeletons in Chrissie's closet, that they were no closer to finding anything than when they started.

He had found it difficult to form coherent sentences and the blood slowly drained from his face as Tom told him they were running out of time as the court date was looming.

And if he didn't give in to her demands, she was taking him to court and he could lose Aubree for good.

And nothing scared him more.

Just when he was about to give up, to throw in the towel and accept whatever fate decided to fling his way, his cell phone rang, pulling him out of his thoughts. His eyes were blood shot thanks to lack of sleep and full of guilt and regret as he grabbed his phone, hoping it was Aaron finally calling him back.

But it wasn't.

"Hello?" His heart was in his throat as he waited for the bad news he knew was coming.

"Hey Robert, it's Tom. We've got something."


	11. Chapter 11

_What a nightmare,_ Robert thought as he tucked Aubree into bed later that night. His throat tightened painfully at the tough decision he was being forced to make.

Did he use the information his lawyer had dug up and risk putting both him and his daughter in danger or risk losing Aubree by choosing not to and face a judge in court who would ultimately decide who would get custody of his little girl.

Either way, he was stuck in a no-win situation.

The last thing Robert had needed or wanted was to have to face his ex-wife and her new husband when his life had finally started to get on the right track.

Robert bent down and kissed Aubree on the forehead after reading her _Good Night Moon_ for the third time. She was stubborn as he was, determined to get her way by sticking out her lower lip into a pout until he caved.

It worked every time.

When he got back downstairs, he went to the liquor cabinet and grabbed a bottle of whiskey and a shot glass. Sitting at the kitchen table swirling the glass around between his fingers, Robert replayed his conversation with Tom that was going to keep him up for the rest of the night and haunt his dreams.

* * *

"His first wife was killed in an accident a few years ago."

Robert hadn't actually met Chrissie's husband, but he found it hard to grasp where Tom was going with this. So Chrissie's husband had been married before and had been a widow. That wasn't a crime.

But before he could ask what the hell Chrissie's husband had to do with anything, Tom dropped a bombshell. 

"It was ruled an accident but the police are looking at re-opening the case because of some new evidence that has surfaced." There was a brief pause and Robert had to grip the arm of the chair he was sitting in as what Tom was saying slowly started to sink in to his clouded brain. "He was involved in an extra-marital affair with your ex-wife at the time of his wife's death."

 _What the actual fuck_ , was Robert's initial reaction, but he never said the words out loud. Instead he had said, "are you sure?" And of course Tom was. He'd done his research. This wasn't his first rodeo.

"We attempted to contact the parents and honestly I didn't think they would have much to say considering they lost their only daughter, but they were more than willing to talk to us about the man they blame for their daughter's death. She told them she had feared for her life shortly before she died. Apparently she caught the two of them in bed together. She threatened to file for divorce and take him for everything he had and blow their affair. If it came out, he would have lost his career and Chrissie's reputation would have been destroyed. And for his wife to mysteriously die in a crash on a deserted highway just days after she threatened both of them? It's too coincidental if you ask me. Her vehicle was found on the side of the road smashed to pieces with her lifeless body inside.:"

_Oh, god._

"At first her family thought their former son-in-law was responsible, but when I showed them a picture of Chrissie, they were quick to confirm that she was the same woman as the one in a photograph that had been found with their daughter's belongings. Apparently Mrs. Whitmore kept a file hidden away of her husband's dirty deeds. They are adamant that what happened to their daugther wasn't an accident. Chrissie would have had ample motive for getting her lover's wife out of the way. You told me that Chrissie's family is influential and has a lot of money."

"And I wouldn't put it past Lawrence to protect his daughter, but murder?" Just saying the word made him feel nauseated. 

"If it meant protecting the family name, I wouldn't put it past any man."

Their custody battle had just turned into something much more dangerous, and there was no way in hell he was letting Chrissie or her husband any where near Aubree. 

They were going to have to kill him first.

* * *

Robert finally managed to fall asleep on the sofa, but it didn't last. He woke up and just stared at the clock on the wall above the marble stone fire place. He raked his hands through his hair, cursing himself for being wide awake before the sun was up. He was exhausted, but his mind wouldn't turn off.

He pushed the blankets aside and padded in bare feet to the kitchen to start the coffee pot. If he was going to get through today with practically no sleep, he was going to need a shit load of caffeine in his system to do it.

Just as he finished adding coffee beans, a quick rap of knuckles on his front door brought him to a halt. Thinking he must be hearing things, he ignored it until, again, there was a firm knocking more urgent than the last.

_What the?_

Who would be showing up on his door step at three a.m.?

"Okay, okay. I'm coming," he called after the third knock, and ran a hand through his hair.

Once he reached the front door, he switched the light on and winced at the bright glow that reflected off the walls. He pulled the door open, and Robert's eyes widened in surprise when he saw Aaron standing there.

"Aaron, what are you doing here? Do you know what fucking time it is?"

Aaron's blue eyes met his and just like every time Aaron looked at him it made Robert's heart race.

Aaron didn't smile and his eyes were unreadable. 

_What is going on in that sexy head of his?_ Robert wondered as the silence stretched out between them.

"Robert?"

Robert was pulled from his thoughts and brought back to the present as Aaron called his name. He had his arms crossed over his chest waiting for Robert to speak.

 _He looks good,_ Aaron thought. Hell, he looked better than that. He looked fucking drop dead gorgeous even in just grey sweatpants and a white shirt.

"I've decided I'm not just going to let you brush me off. I dealt with enough of that bullshit six years ago," Aaron said, his temper rising.

Robert took in Aaron's appearance. "What are you wearing? You look like you ran a mile."

Aaron looked down at his black hoody and black track pants. "Five actually. You pissed me off."

Robert stepped aside so Aaron could come inside. "I wasn't trying to piss you off I was just trying to be realistic."

"I can make up my own fucking mind, I don't need you to do it for me," Aaron snapped.

"You seem a little---"

"Irritable?" Aaron supplied. 

Robert took a step forward and ran his gaze over the tangle of curls falling around Aaron's face. "Yeah. Irritable seems about right. And so am I. I've had a pretty shitty day and not really in the mood for another fight so---"

Aaron didn't move, but held his ground. "Well too damn bad. Today was---"

"A fucking mess. For both of us it seems." If Aaron's temper was any indication.

Aaron walked further in Robert's house, stuffing his hands in the pockets of his hoody. "I couldn't sleep," he admitted. 

Robert indicated the blankets scattered on the sofa. "You think I can? My life is turning into a fucking nightmare. I could lose my daughter, Aaron. I don't really have the energy to stand here and listen to you yell at me for how I acted. I tried to reach out to you and you ignored me. You made your feelings pretty fucking clear."

"I needed space," Aaron explained calmly. "And you know what I've decided?"

"No," Robert said thickly. "What have you decided?" Robert's eyes darkened as they lowered to Aaron's mouth.

"I've decided that I'm done waiting around for you to make up your fucking mind."

Robert's heart thumped in his chest as he concentrated on Aaron's mouth and the way it moved, especially when he used curse words. It was a fucking turn on. But when Aaron reached for his hips and pulled Robert flush against his body, all of Robert's thoughts took a flying leap.

"Are you?" And then Aaron's lips were against his throat and he forgot what they were talking about. He couldn't even remember his own name.

Then Aaron's voice echoed through the otherwise silent house. "I'm not letting you push me away any more. I know you've been tense and your life has been thrown into turmoil, but I can be there for you. Let me be there for you."

"Fuck yes my life is in fucking turmoil," Robert stressed, trying to make Aaron understand where he was coming from and why he was such a mess. He wanted to tell Aaron everything, to let him in, to let Aaron be there for him like Robert knew he would be. But he didn't want to disrupt Aarons' life. For once he was trying to put Aaron's needs above his own, but Aaron was making it hard for him to remember why he kept pushing Aaron away.

Aaron grabbed Robert's arm and halted him in his tracks. He could see Robert was fighting an inner battle and losing. There was so much going on in his life and Aaron just wanted to be there for him, to support him. "Let me love you." He then took Robert's chin between his fingers and before he could talk himself out of it, pressed a kiss to Robert's lips. "And if you tell me you don't want me, I won't believe you. Just break down those fucking walls and let me in."

"I want---" Robert paused, his stomach knotting as Aaron's eyes widened and his hands rose as if pleading with him to finish. 

"What do you want, Rob? Because, personally, I know what I want."

Robert swallowed, and before he lost his nerve, he heard himself say, "I want you." _I need you_ , but he couldn't bring himself to say those words. He had never needed anybody, but in that moment he knew that wasn't the case anymore. And he wanted to show him. Aaron deserved more than just empty words. "Fuck, I need a drink." Robert walked back to the kitchen and could feel Aaron following him, but he didn't trust himself to speak again just yet. He pulled out a bottle of tequila and poured two glasses. After downing it, Robert placed the glass down with an unsteady hand and gribbed the cool marble of the kitchen counter.

After downing his own shot, Aaron took a deep breath and tried to gauge Robert's mood. He could tell by the way Robert's jaw clenched that he was pissed off. At him or himself, Aaron wasn't sure. Trying to lighten the mood, Aaron's mouth split into a wide grin and walked closer to Robert - who was as tense as a fucking wire. 

Robert was having a hard time keeping his hands - and his mouth - to himself. And if Aaron kept looking at him like that, he wasn't going to be able to control it much longer.

"Stop staring," Robert said. "You're giving me a complex."

Aaron walked around the counter and stood behind Robert and nuzzled his nose into Robert's hair. "Liar," he whispered, before placing a kiss against his neck. 

Then Aaron wrapped an arm around Robert's waist and pushed the material of Robert's shirt up an inch so his fingers could graze the skin that was uncovered and Robert nearly lost it and closed his eyes, gripping the counter to keep from falling over. Aaron still had the power to make him weak with just a touch.

"Let me love you," he whispered as he dragged the material farther up Robert's body, which was now on fire. Then Aaron's mouth was back on his and he lost all train of thought. 

A groan escaped Robert's lips and before he knew what he was doing, he rocked his hips against Aaron's and when he felt Aaron's fingers tighten around the hairs at the back of his neck, all of Robert's self-control went out the window.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the next chapter is very dark, but I promise it ends happily.

The rational part of Robert's brain told him to stop this before it went any further. But the other part of his brain wouldn't let him, the part that had control over his body.

He was powerless to stop it. He couldn't and didn't want to, not when Aaron was kissing him, his fingers flirting with the hair at the back of his neck. Aaron's hands and mouth were making it hard to say no, and making it hard for him to even remember his own name. 

Yeah, he was going to be lucky if he was going to be able to think at all in a few seconds.

And when Aaron pulled away from him and lowered his eyes to Robert's mouth, he knew saying _no_ was definitely not happening.

Not tonight. And maybe not ever.

 _I'll be fucking damned,_ was Aaron's first thought when Robert stopped fighting him and kissed him back. Then Robert's hands were in his hair, and Aaron lost all train of thought.

Robert raised his head. "Aaron, I think we should slow this down a bit."

"I think we're way past slowing this down," Aaron said. Then he lowered his head again and whispered, "don't you?"

Then Aaron kissed him again, and Robert forgot what the hell they were talking about.

* * *

When Robert had moved back to Emmerdale two years ago, it had been for Aubree, to give her a safe place to grow up surrounded by people that loved her, a refuge, a place where he could forget a marriage that had nearly destroyed him, a relationship that had ended so badly that Robert had wondered if he would ever be able to love again. Chrissie's betrayal and absence had left a hole in his heart so big he didn't think it could ever be filled again.

But he had been wrong. So wrong.

Robert's sister and his stepmom were here, and, Robert could admit now, he had needed them. He had been struggling as a single father in the big city, working two jobs just to keep a roof over their heads. 

Victoria and Diane had made Robert feel like he had never left, always there to lend a helping hand with Aubree when he needed it. They opened their arms and their hearts without being asked, brought them home-cooked meals, and gave them both a sense of family Robert hadn't realized he'd been missing. It made him wonder what took him so long to move back in the first place.

So Robert had come back home and they had started a new life here together. Just him and his little girl against the world in a safe place surrounded by family.

But now it wasn't so safe.

He had never wanted to move to the city, that had all been Chrissie, unwilling to bend or make any kind of sacrifice for his dreams. No, it was all about her and what she wanted. And she hadn't wanted Aubree, not from the moment she had taken a pregnancy test and had seen those two lines appear. But now, five years later, Chrissie was suddenly determined to take Aubree away from him. 

But why? It still made no sense to him. _She_ was the one that made the choice to leave. He hadn't forced her into someone else's bed. No, she had done that all on her own.

Chrissie never did anything without an ulterior motive. He still had no fucking clue what she was after, but he knew it wasn't Aubree.

The woman was even more malicious than he thought. Chrissie was quite possibly a murderer. It wouldn't surprise him that she had been with a married man, but to commit murder to get the wife out of the way? That he was finding hard to wrap his head around.

Robert didn't want to think about her, not right now when he had someone much more important to focus his attention on.

Aaron. Who had spent the night in his bed and was now picking up his hoody from the chair in the bedroom where he'd tossed it the night before. Robert watched him shrug into it. 

Robert raised a brow at him from the bed. The white sheets were still covering him and he wore a satisfied grin on his face. "Come back to bed."

Aaron zipped up his hoody and put on his shoes. "I can't. I should go before Aubree wakes up."

Robert rubbed his eyes and picked up his phone. "What time is it?"

"Six."

"She won't be up for a few hours yet. Come back to bed." Had they even slept? Robert wondered. His brain was too consumed with the memory of Aaron kissing him and pulling him up the stairs into his bedroom before either of them could change their mind. At best they only got a few hours of sleep and Robert felt like he had the best sleep of his life.

Which had seemed so impossible yesterday after Tom's phone call. He wanted to tell Aaron about it, but Aaron had distracted him and he hadn't wanted to ruin the moment by bringing up his ex-wife in the middle of sex. Somehow he figured it would dampen the mood and they had both been too far gone to let anything stop them.

He blamed Aaron and his mouth. As soon as Aaron's lips touched his, there was no way in hell he was going to be able to stop.

Though it was tempting, Aaron had a lot to do today. "I can't," he said reluctantly as he grabbed his phone and rolled his eyes. "I have a meeting with my editor and she's already breathing down my neck about it. Three missed calls." He had shut it off last night before they'd stumbled into Robert's bedroom, lips and bodies connected and had left it in the pocket of his hoody.

Robert cursed under his breath, rubbed at the tension that had settled into the back of his neck again. He walked into the bathroom and shut the door to help disguise his hurt. 

_He looks pissed off,_ Aaron thought and ran a hand through his hair. 

"I never asked," Aaron said over the sound of the running water. Robert must have turned the shower on. "You said Tom had some news."

"I thought you were in a rush to leave," Robert said, and from his tone, Aaron knew whatever good mood Robert had been in was gone.

"I have a meeting. I'm not going because I want to, I'm going because I have to. We could pick this up later. We could have dinner."

Robert arched an eyebrow from the other side of the door. "Together?"

Aaron resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "Yes, together. Or are you worried if people see us out alone together they'll think we're _together_?"

" _We_ are together," Robert pointed out.

"Are we?"

"Isn't that what last night was about?" Robert poked his head out the bathroom door and looked over at his bed; the rumpled sheets only reminded him of the intimate way they'd rolled around on them only hours before, and waking up in them with Aaron's body curled next to his, which only made the ache in his groin more prominent. The smug grin on his face had Aaron regretting that he couldn't stay. "Which, if I recall correctly, you started."

Aaron grinned, not feeling sorry in the slightest. "I didn't hear any complaints. And maybe I just wanted to hear you say it."

" _We_ are together," Robert repeated. "Happy now?"

"You used to be worried about people seeing us together."

"And I was an idiot then. We've been through all of this already. I was a different person back then."

"I know. You're right, I'm sorry." Wipe the slate clean, Aaron thought. It was the only way. "Where do you want me to meet you?"

"I'll text you. I'll check with Vic, see if she can take Aubree for a few hours."

"If you're not comfortable with going out in public---"

"I'm fine," Robert said, cutting him off.

"If you're not, I would understand you know. People seeing us out together is one thing, but the whispers, the speculation? You know the press is still camped out in the village."

"I said I'm fine, and _I am_ ," Robert stressed. "I'm not ashamed of who I am, and I'm definitely not ashamed of you. I know that's hard to believe because of how I acted in the past, but I'm being honest with you. I'm fine. And besides, it will give my ego a boost to have people talking about how I snagged one of the country's most eligible bachelors."

Aaron rolled his eyes. "I can't still figure out how the hell they picked me. It's almost laughable."

"Oh, I don't know," Robert said, grinning. "You're sexy and talented and...."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Aaron muttered. "Stop trying to boost my ego. I've already slept with you."

"That's right, you did. And not for the last time either."

And the second Robert's mouth connected with the warm skin of his neck, a groan rumbled from Aaron's throat, then his cell phone went off, interrupting an almost perfect moment.

"Duty calls," Aaron said, regretfully pulling away. "If I'm any later, Leslie will kill me."

Robert gave him one more kiss before he could escape the bedroom. "See you tonight."

It wasn't until Aaron was gone that Robert remembered he had a decision to make, one that was not just going to affect him and Aubree, but now Aaron too.


	13. Chapter 13

He should have known that something would happen that would ruin the happiness he'd found.

But he didn't expect tonight to end with Aaron, lifeless and barely clinging to life, in the back of an ambulance and him on the verge of losing everything.

_**Earlier that night...** _

_It's just dinner, no big deal_ , Robert told himself as he tightened the black-tie and ran a hand through his hair. 

The only thing that calmed his nerves was Aubree, who couldn't stop talking about how excited she was to go over to her Auntie Vic's for a sleepover.

"Auntie Vic said we're going to make milkshakes and watch movies. And popcorn. She said we're going to make popcorn too!"

Robert smiled at her as he shrugged into his jacket. "Well, we better get going then. We don't want Auntie Vic to start without you."

***

The moon was blocked by thick clouds, threatening rain when Robert dropped Aubree off at his sister's later that night. He hugged Aubree before she disappeared into the cottage, excited to find her Uncle Adam who was purposefully hiding so she could find him.

"She'll be fine," Victoria reassured him. She saw the worry etched on his face. "Just go and have a good time." He hadn't divulged too much information, only that he was going out with a mate. As amazing as last night had been, and as sure as he was of his love for Aaron and Aaron's for him, he still wasn't sure what it meant for the future. Aaron still had a career and a flat in London, a life. And his life was here. They would figure it out, but for now, Robert was being cautious.

But tonight, tonight was about the two of them. No one else.

"Thanks Vic. Kiss her goodnight for me, yeah?"

"I will," she promised him. "Now go." Then slammed the door in his face.

Robert grabbed his phone from his jacket pocket and dialed Aaron's number. "Hey Aaron, it's me. Yeah, I just dropped Aubree off at Vic's. I'll be by your place to pick you up in about ten. Yeah? I can't wait to peel you out of it later." He grinned, then hung up, shaking his head in amusement at what Aaron had said before he'd hung up.

_I can't wait for you to peel it off of me. Inch by inch._

Yeah, he couldn't wait either.

Just as he was reaching for his car keys, a dark figure slipped out of the shadows.

Chrissie.

"What the hell are you doing here?" he demanded.

"Oh, Robert. You think you're hiding it so well, but I know what you're doing, and who you're doing it with. Just like six years ago. I would have thought your taste would have improved."

_What the hell is she talking about?_

"Aaron," Chrissie clarified at his confused expression. "I know you were sleeping with him when we were together. You think you would have learned your lesson."

"You don't know what you're talking about." _Sure, just keep denying it. That makes it soooo much better._

Chrissie ran a bright red manicured nail up his arm, over his suit jacket. "Don't play me for a fool, Robert. You've tried that once before and look where that got you."

"Again, what the hell are you talking about?"

Chrissie met his glare head-on. "You can't even deny it, can you? It wasn't bad enough you were screwing someone else behind my back, but a man? Talk about humiliating. I've waited six years to get my revenge on you."

At that moment, the alarm bells went off. He _knew_ now exactly why Chrissie had shown back up in Emmerdale and the sudden interest she'd taken in wanting Aubree for herself when she didn't even like kids. 

Revenge.

Just being near such a destructive and malicious person made his skin crawl. How long had she been planning this? 

"You're unbelievable," he said finally looking at her. "You show up here to bitch about me cheating on you when you were sleeping with a married man once. Oh yeah, I know all about your husband's first marriage and how she mysteriously died in a car accident, not a few days after she threatened to blow your affair with her husband."

Chrissie's blood ran cold and it took all of her will power not to reach across and strangle him. She had to reign in the desire to if she wanted to execute her plan. He would get what had been coming to him. "You don't know what you're talking about."

"My lawyer knows all about it." At her pained expression, Robert smiled coldly. "You don't really think I was just going to let you come back here and try to take my little girl from me, did you? I had to fight fire with fire. If you're done saying your peace, please leave. I have a date to get to."

Chrissie could start to feel her plan unraveling. She would have to move up her plans before Robert could use the information he had on her. He had to be silenced. For good. "You're not going to get away with this."

"Is that a threat?" Robert said.

"A promise. Nobody threatens me and gets away with it."

"And people should be punished for their sins. Think about that, Chrissie. I'll use the information I have on you if I have to, to protect Aubree." 

Trying to compose herself, Chrissie stared him down and clutched her purse and leaned forward, making sure to get right into Robert's face. Her jaw was tight, on the defensive. "You're going to regret messing with me."

Robert shrugged casually, which only irritated Chrissie more. Then he snorted in disgust. "Probably. I tend to regret anything that involves you."

"Shut the fuck up," she snarled.

"Make me."

Chrissie huffed, then stormed off.

"Well, that went well," Robert said into the night as he unlocked his car.

He had pushed Chrissie too far, he knew that, but he had been backed into a corner and left with no option but to play his trump card.

* * *

When Robert showed up at Aaron's place to pick him up, he didn't waste any time. He got out of the car and cupped the back of Aaron's neck and firmly pulled him forward. Aaron placed his palms on the solid chest now intimately pressed against his own. Aaron watched Robert's focus drop to his mouth before he tilted his head and finally crushed his lips against his own.

At first, Aaron remained frozen, his hands against the smooth fabric of Robert's jacket, and dragged him closer. He found himself reaching for Robert's neck and yanked him in closer and pressed their lips together again.

"Hello to you, too," Aaron managed as he pulled away.

"Why are you so fucking gorgeous?" Robert said. Aaron being so close to him was tempting his sanity. He just wanted to drag Aaron back inside and into the bedroom. 

But they had a date and Robert was determined not to fuck this up.

 _Tell him. Tell him what happened,_ was screaming through Robert's head.

"I have to tell you something..."

* * *

The lighting in the restaurant was muted and low, making the setting cozy and private, and as Robert stared at the man across from him, he became aware just how _intimate_ this setting was. He placed his hands on the mahogany wood table and reached for the menu, pretending to read it, though food was the last thing on his mind.

He felt on edge after telling Aaron about what he'd learned from Tom about Chrissie's past on their way to the restaurant and how she'd confronted him outside of Vic's cottage. The thought that he shared a child with a cold-blood killer made him feel sick to his stomach. The bitch hadn't even denied it when he'd brought it up. 

Robert was being too quiet and it made Aaron nervous. He was looking anywhere but at him. 

Aaron offered him a hint of a smile that was unmistakenly mischievous. "Now I know why you weren't in a rush to stop me getting you naked and into bed."

 _Well, that was rather blunt._ And hell if that didn't have Robert shifting uncomfortably in his seat, trying to conceal the bulge in his pants that had decided to make an appearance.

In a fucking restaurant surrounded by people where he could do nothing about it.

Aaron's comment almost made Robert choke on the water he'd just swallowed. "Jesus," he cursed under his breath. "Why do you have to say it like that?" He ran his fingers through his hair, a nervous habit, shaking his head in disbelief at the man grinning at him. Aaron was just trying to distract him, to get his mind off more serious matters. "You're having fun with this."

"Just trying to lighten the mood." If Aaron was honest, he was worried, a lot more than he was willing to let on. "But I'm glad you told me about it. Now we can deal with her. Together."

"How the hell did she know about us? We were so careful back then."

"Not careful enough, apparently."

Somewhere in the back of Robert's mind were nagging doubts, doubts that he would once again screw everything up. "I never meant to you hurt six years ago. If I could take it all back, I would."

"I know," Aaron said softly. 

"I never stopped wanting you."

As Robert's hand reached over the table to touch his, Aaron smiled. "I never stopped wanting you either."

Their eyes met and held. "I'm scared, Aaron. What if she wins custody of Aubree? How can I live with myself knowing I handed my little girl over to a murderer?"

Aaron reached across the table, covering Robert's trembling hand with his own. "We're not going to let that happen."

Robert was relieved when the waiter dropped off the bottle of red wine Aaron had ordered for them, and two glasses. He grabbed the bottle, uncorked it and poured.

They ordered dinner, but Robert's mind was elsewhere. He barely touched the food on his plate. 

"After the night you've had, maybe coming here wasn't a good idea. Let me take you home," Aaron said as he watched Robert push his fork around his plate distractedly. He had a good idea of what was going around in that head of his and Aaron didn't like it.

Robert put his fork down. "No," he said sharply. "Tonight is supposed to be about us. I'm not letting her ruin it."

"She's dangerous, Rob," Aaron said. He didn't like the dark turn of his thoughts. "Maybe we should go and get Aubree from Vic."

"You don't think Chrissie would---"

Aaron wouldn't even let him finish. "You just basically accused Chrissie of killing someone. I wouldn't put it passed her to try and take the most important person away from you - for good."

Robert's eyes clouded and he reached for his jacket. "Let's get out of here."

Aaron slapped some cash on the table. "I'll call Vic from the car."

* * *

Aaron climbed into the driver seat of Robert's car and fastened the seatbelt. Robert was in no shape to drive, his mind elsewhere, his nerves strung tight. Aaron knew he was scared - hell he was too. They needed to get to Aubree before it was too late.

Aaron wouldn't put it past Chrissie to kidnap Aubree and use her as bait to get what she was after. 

All of this because she knew about their affair? Why the hell it mattered now, six years later, baffled Aaron. How one person could hold onto so much anger for so long he didn't understand. But why use Aubree, an innocent little girl, to get her revenge when none of this was her fault?

 _Selfish bitch,_ Aaron thought. 

How could anyone even think about hurting that beautiful, little girl? Aaron felt his temper rise in anger. He felt protective of Aubree, just like she was his own child. He would protect her with his life. He couldn't help but think about that night in the barn, the scared look on her face, and how afraid she was that she was going to lose Robert.

He wouldn't let that happen. 

Aaron pulled out of the parking lot and started to drive through the narrow streets towards the highway that would take them back to Emmerdale. Robert was quiet in the passenger seat, his hands laced together, looking out the window as a million different thoughts, all bad, rushed around in his head.

_How far would Chrissie go to protect her secret?_

_Would Chrissie hurt her?_

_Maybe we should disappear for a while._

But he knew they couldn't, not with a court date looming. And with how dangerous Chrissie was, he wouldn't put it past her to go to the police and claim he had kidnapped his own daughter.

Watching the dark road in front of him through the front windshield as he merged onto the highway, Aaron didn't see the other car until it was too late.

Then his world went black as a car traveling the opposite direction cruised into their lane and hit Aaron's car head-on, causing their car to spin and crash into a telephone pole.

There was blood everywhere and Aaron was unconscious, barely breathing in the driver's seat. Robert came to and screamed at the top of his lungs. "Aaron!!" He checked to see if Aaron had a pulse and was relieved when he felt it. It was light, but it was there.

Robert didn't have time to panic. He gripped Aaron's hand, covered in blood and scratches, and reached for his phone in his pocket.

"I need help," he said into the phone, shaking uncontrollably. "We were just hit by a car. My boyfriend, he's----" He barely made out the words as his grief took over. "He's not breathing." 

_I can't lose him. I can't!_

Robert had his arms wrapped around Aaron, trying to keep him warm, until the police and paramedics arrived. It felt like hours, but it only been minutes, that had slowly ticked away. Robert swatted hands away, refusing to be looked over. He was fine, just a few scratches and a splitting headache, but Aaron...Aaron still hadn't opened his eyes, even when Robert pleaded with him through his tears.

The moon was blocked by thick clouds threatening rain. He didn't even feel the first few droplets as they landed on his head. He saw nothing but the man cradled in his arms. The man that had, in just days of coming back into his life, become his best friend, the only person that had come close to breaking down the walls he kept around his heart.

And he was so close to losing him. It rocked Robert to the core.

"You have to save Aaron. Please." He smiled through his tears as he bent down and pressed a kiss to Aaron's forehead as he continued to rock Aaron's lifeless body in his arms. "You're going to be okay. You have to. I just got you back, you're not allowed to leave me now when I've waited six years to have you back. I love you, you stubborn...."

His hands were shaking as the paramedics lifted Aaron, still unconscious, into the back of the ambulance. Aaron had, without realizing it, become the center of his world, the piece he didn't know was missing from his life.

_He's everything and I never realized it until it was too late._

_Pull your shit together. You have to be strong. For Aaron and for Aubree. They need you._

He couldn't lose him again. He couldn't. It would kill him.

But first, he was going to kill the bastard who hit them and drove off without even stopping.

* * *

She'd imagined his death for the last five years, but nothing beat watching it unfold in front of her eyes. It would be slow and it would be torturous, just like she planned. Except it wasn't his death she was watching; no, it was Aaron's. 

It was only right that they both suffered after everything they'd put her through.

But this hasn't been part of her master plan, but she felt sweet redemption knowing Aaron would die and Robert would feel the pain. She could only hope his death came quickly and painfully. After all, the asshole had slept with Robert when he knew they were together. He was as much to blame for Robert's infidelity as Robert was.

She felt a thrill, a tingle of anticipation, much the same as she'd felt when she'd made sure that bitch, Kaylee Whitmore, met her maker.

Nobody messes with Chrissie White and gets away with it. 

She watched from the shadows, squinting through binoculars. She focused them on her ex-husband, covered in blood and dirt, as he was led into the back of an ambulance after the stretcher lifted Aaron Dingle's lifeless body into it and shut the door.

Robert had debts to pay, and she was there to collect.

In blood.

She didn't have time to lurk around, but it was hard to just walk away especially when she could watch the pain that crossed her ex-husband's features. That was priceless.

_Good. I hope he experiences pain, scorching and hot. He needs to know what it feels like to lose everything._

She tampered down the rage that still burned through her. Robert was supposed to die. She wanted to yell his name. She wanted him to know it was her and her alone that had been the mastermind. She needed him to know that _he_ was the reason why she'd done all of this. That he was to blame.

Finally, Robert would get what he deserved. One way or the other.

That's what this was all about. Getting her revenge on Robert for cheating on her was just the tip of the iceberg. Getting him to experience real, gut-wrenching pain as he watched his lover take his last breath was just an added bonus. She would revel in it.

She had lingered near the crime scene for too long. She fingered the set of car keys in her jacket pocket. If she didn't leave now she could be spotted. There were still cops taping up the scene and she was at risk at being caught. She needed to get rid of the evidence and make sure her alibi was airtight, just in case Robert ran his mouth to the cops about their earlier confrontation. He would take perverse pleasure of watching her get handcuffed. No, she couldn't let that happen. She had to leave, and now.

 _Just wait,_ she thought as she disappeared back into the shadows and made her way back to her car. She needed to get rid of the red car quickly before anybody spotted her in the vicinity of the accident. The dents on the front of her car would be evidence enough of her guilt. Robert's testimony would seal her fate.

It had just been her bad luck that a witness saw the whole thing and could not only identify her but took a video on her phone of Chrissie admitting what she'd done as she leaned her hip against her damaged car.

* * *

It was all over the news before the night was over.

_Best selling author Aaron Dingle is in serious, life-threatening condition after a car crash just outside of his home town of Emmerdale. He was traveling with an unknown occupant who has not yet been identified. Mr. Dingle's rep has declined to comment but has asked that we respect the family's privacy at this time. We will keep you updated as this story progresses._

Then later..

 _This just in. Chrissie White has been arrested in the suspected hit and run of best selling author Aaron Dingle, who is still in life-threatening condition in hospital. Chrissie White is the daughter of Lawrence White, the business mogul, and the wife of Richard Whitmore, the chief of police in Hotten. She is also suspected in the death of Kaylee Whitmore, Richard Whitmore's first wife, which was originally determined to be accidental. Our sources reveal that Ms. White was married at one time to the other occupant in Mr. Dingle's vehicle at the time of the accident. We_ _will keep you updated as this story progresses._


	14. Chapter 14

It was all over the news. Robert's name, before anonymous, was now out there, his picture plastered everywhere as the other occupant in the car and the ex-husband of the woman now in custody. If he wasn't so wrapped up in worrying about Aaron, he would have been angry, he would be on his way down to the police station right now demanding to see her, to have a few choice words with the woman responsible for putting Aaron in the hospital.

But he had more important things to do.

His place was here, by Aaron's side. He didn't have time to think about revenge or recriminations or what the police were doing about Chrissie. Aaron needed him right now. Making sure Chrissie got put behind bars where she belonged would have to wait.

He was swimming in guilt and pissed off, a violent combination of emotions. 

No one was telling him anything and it just made him even more frustrated. He would have punched a wall if his hand wasn't already bandaged up thanks to the injuries he sustained in the accident.

He had called Vic as soon as they got to the hospital and Aaron was rushed into the ER. She had come without hesitation, though she came with endless questions that he wasn't ready to answer. 

Aubree was fast asleep, so Adam had offered to stay with her. Vic's place was with her brother and they were family now, and family took care of each other. Robert, for the first time, was grateful Adam was married to his sister.

Caffeine was the last thing he needed, but he accepted the styrofoam cup of hot coffee Vic shoved in his hands. He gripped the cup tightly, to keep his hands occupied more than anything else.

"Vic, it's been hours. Why won't they tell me what's going on? He has to be okay, he has to." Robert was pacing the waiting room for nearly an hour when Chas and Paddy came through the automatic sliding doors and rushed to the nurse's station.

"Where is he?" Chas demanded of the nurse at the desk. "Aaron Dingle. He's my son. I was told he was brought in about an hour ago."

Robert bit his bottom lip as Victoria rolled her eyes beside him.

"Not dramatic at all, is she?" Victoria muttered under her breath.

"Vic." Robert shot her a look that said, _not now._

The nurse looked around the room nervously, then looked down at the papers scattered on the desk until she found the file she was looking for. "Mr. Dingle is being prepped for surgery. I can try and find the doctor for you, Ms. Dingle."

That didn't seem to be enough for Chas. She turned around and when she saw Robert, she waved an accusatory finger at him. "You. You did this. You're why he's in there fighting for this life!"

She wasn't wrong, and the guilt was already tearing him apart. Robert was grateful when Victoria intercepted because he couldn't form any words. He was still in shock.

"This wasn't Rob's fault, Chas. Chrissie did this."

"And he was married to her! It's all over the news about how she was trying to take his daughter away from him and she snapped."

"That's not what happened," Robert said, his hands and voice shaking. But he wasn't sure the truth would make him look any better. 

"Tell me what the hell happened tonight," Chas demanded.

"We were out for dinner and..."

Chas raised an eyebrow. "You and Aaron?"

Robert nodded. "Yeah, I picked him up about seven after I dropped Aubree off with Vic. We went out for dinner, but I was worried about Aubree so Aaron and I decided to head back to Vic's. Chrissie had been making threats, and Aaron knew my mind was somewhere else. He was the one that insisted we go check on Aubree. He knew I was worried that Chrissie might try and kidnap her."

"This doesn't make any sense. Why would Aaron even be out with you? He told me the two of you hadn't talked for years."

Robert rubbed his hands over his face. This wasn't how he wanted Chas to find out about their past or what had happened between them since Aaron's arrival back in the village. "It's complicated, Chas. And I really don't want to get into it right now. I'm worried about Aaron."

"I don't want you anywhere near my son."

Paddy had to hold her back to keep her from lashing out physically at Robert. 

The words tumbled out before he could stop them. "I love your son. I'm not leaving him."

* * *

"What the hell did you just say?"

Robert remained silent. He couldn't see past the tears welling in his eyes. He felt a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders at the admission he'd just spoken out loud. "You heard what I said. I love Aaron and I'm not leaving him." It had been hours since the accident and his state of mind was in complete chaos, but there was one thing he knew for sure and he'd just spoken the words to Aaron's family.

"Is this some kind of sick joke?" Paddy said. He'd barely said a word since they stormed into the hospital. 

Everything but Aaron being okay disappeared from his mind. Nothing else mattered.

His face was strained and his hair was a mess as if he'd been worrying it with his hands. He didn't have the energy to do anything but stand there and let Chas and Paddy's accuse him of using the accident and Aaron's fame to his own advantage. He wanted to scream that they didn't understand, that he loved Aaron, but he knew it was no use so he didn't even try. He just stood there and let their harsh words wash over him because he thought he deserved it.

Victoria, still beside him, looked at her brother in disbelief. "Rob, I had no idea."

The tears were back, and he didn't even try this time to stop them. "We've never talked about it openly, but we have a past, one that no one knows about. It ended before he left for London and then I married Chrissie. It wasn't until he showed up in the village again that I realized how much I still loved him."

Chas reached forward and grabbed the arm of Robert's jacket. "Aaron wouldn't get involved with you. You're not his type. Stop lying through your fucking teeth."

"I'm not lying. You can ask him yourself when he wakes up."

" _If_ he wakes up," Paddy said.

Robert glared at him. "He's going to wake up so just shut your---"

"Rob." Victoria grabbed his arm to try and stop him before he said something he would regret later, but he just swatted it away. "Everyone's just upset right now. Why don't we all just sit down and wait until we hear more."

"We're not sitting with _him_ ," Paddy said, waving a finger in Robert's face. Robert didn't even flinch. 

"Your choice, old man," Robert said, shrugging a shoulder. "But I told you I'm not leaving. I need to be here when he wakes up." He was way past caring what Paddy fucking Kirk thought about him. 

Victoria squeezed his arm again, but Robert's eyes were fixated on the doctor that had just walked from behind the double doors that led to the ER. He felt numb as he waited for the news that would either have him sighing in relief or crying from excruciating pain.

"Mr. Dingle's family?" the doctor said, running a hand over his sweaty brow.

Chas got to her feet before Robert could even move. "I'm Aaron's mum. Please tell me he's going to be alright." She covered her mouth, fighting back a sob as she waited for the doctor to speak.

Robert swore he could see all of his worst fears through her eyes. When Victoria reached for his hand, he squeezed it. He knew it was her way of letting him know she was there for him, that she was on his side. He was never more grateful for it than he was at that moment as he held his breath, waiting for news about Aaron.

Victoria squeezed his fingers again, fighting back her own emotions, unable to imagine what her brother was going through. 

Robert's chest ached to the point where he wondered if his heart could take any more. 

_Hold it together, Sugden. Be fucking strong._

"Ms. Dingle, why don't we talk in private," the doctor finally said.

"No!" Robert stood up then, ready for a fight. "I'm Aaron's partner. I need to hear how he is."

"I'm sorry sir," the doctor said, looking down at the file in his hands. "Ms. Dingle is listed as his only emergency contact. I'm afraid she's the only one that can see him at this time."

_Are you fucking serious?_

"I don't think you understand," Robert said, walking over to where the doctor was standing. "I was in the car with him when the accident happened. He's with me and I want to know how the hell he is. I don't care what your stupid rules are."

The doctor gave him a sympathetic smile that made Robert want to strangle him. "I'm sorry, sir. We have strict rules that only the immediate family can be given information on the patient."

Robert clenched his fists as a red haze clouded his vision. He was quickly losing the last of his patience, and as his temper started to boil, he had to remind himself that losing it wasn't going to get him very far. 

"I just want to know how he is," he tried again, hating the tremble he could hear in his voice. 

"I'm sorry, I can't tell you anything more." The doctor turned his attention back to Chas. "If you'll follow me. We are just prepping Mr. Dingle for surgery. You can see him for a few moments before he's put under."

"Fuck the rules," Robert shouted.

Victoria shoved him back into the chair. "Cool it. You're not going to get any answers by acting like an asshole."

Robert glared at Victoria. "You don't understand. You don't know what he means to me."

"I think I do," Victoria murmured, and laid her head on his shoulder, holding his hand in hers. "The fact that you're here, that you're so vocal about needing to see him, and the look in your eyes any time someone says his name, I can see exactly how you feel about him."

"Doesn't change anything though, does it? The man I love is back there somewhere fighting for his life and I can't be with him."

"Rob..."

He heard Victoria saying his name, but he couldn't say anything as his heart shattered into a million pieces.

* * *

Seconds turned into minutes, minutes turned into hours, and somewhere around three in the morning, he fell asleep, still in the hard and uncomfortable chair in the waiting room.

When he woke back up, his eyes were fixated on the double doors that the doctor and Chas had disappeared behind hours before. 

He squeezed his eyes shut and brought a hand to his face before looking at the clock on the wall as the seconds ticked by. He realized that Victoria was no longer beside him. He blinked several times, then he saw her coming around the corner from an alcove. She wigged her finger at him.

"Come here."

Somehow Robert managed to stand up in his numb state. When they were around the corner and alone, she placed a hand on his shoulder. "I managed to speak to the surgeon that worked on Aaron and found out as much as I could. Don't tell Adam I flirted with him."

Robert stared at her blankly. "You flirted with a doctor?"

"For you, yes. I know how much you care about Aaron and how worried you are. I'd do it again."

Robert pulled her into his arms and squeezed her tight. "I don't know what to say. I can't believe you did that for me."

Victoria smiled and patted her growing belly. "You're family, Rob. And I want this little one to have both of her uncles around when she's born."

"Vic, I don't know what to say."

"Rob, his condition is serious."

Robert took a step back and leaned against the wall for support just in case his knees gave out. 

"He suffered a broken clavicle and two broken ribs, one which punctured his right lung, causing it to collapse."

"Oh god," Robert muttered as he ran a hand through his hair. Gripping the back of his neck, he tried to keep the cry that was bubbling up inside him from breaking free.

"I know this is hard to hear. Do you want me to stop?" Victoria reached for his arm.

Robert shook his head. He couldn't find it inside of him to find the energy to speak.

"After they inserted a drain and relieved the air in the lung, his condition deteriorated and they had to place him on a ventilator. The doctor was just in his room. He's on two ventilators now, one for each lung. They're doing more x-rays now. We won't know more until those results come back."

"Fucking hell," Robert cursed, unable to think of another word that summed up how he felt.

Aaron was somewhere in the hospital with God knows how many tubes and needles going in and out of him, and he was here, useless, and he couldn't do a fucking thing. And the more he thought about it, the more enraged he became.

"Chas and Paddy are in with him now."

 _Of course they are,_ Robert thought bitterly. He let the rage inside him boil over, welcoming the emotion.

"Rob," Victoria said softly.

"What?" he snapped, rounding on her. He knew it wasn't her fault, that she was only trying to help him, but fuck, he didn't know what else to do. "The man I love is somewhere in this building and I can't do a fucking thing. I'm not even allowed to see him. It's a fucking joke."

"I know this is frustrating."

" _Frustrating?_ " he mocked. "Trying to convince yourself you're over someone when you're not is frustrating. But this? This is agony. I've never felt like this before." He paused and closed his eyes. "This is hell."

Victoria walked over to him and took his hands in hers. "We're going to figure out a way for you to get in there to see him, okay? And hey, Rob?"

Robert looked at her. "What?"

"He's lucky to have you."

The anger drained from him. "Thanks Vic."

"He's going to need you when he wakes up so try and keep your temper on simmer, yeah?"

* * *

As the clock in the waiting room hit eight, Robert stretched his neck from side to side. He still hadn't gotten over the initial shock of the severity of Aaron's condition. 

As he bent over and rested his elbows on his knees, he rubbed his hands over his face. The day-old stubble scratched against his palms, his jacket was a crumpled mess and his tie hung loosely around his neck. Victoria had tried to convince him to go home to get some sleep, but there was no force on Earth strong enough to make him leave.

The double doors opened and Chas walked out. She stopped just outside the doors and scanned the waiting room. And as Robert got to his feet, her eyes skidded to a stop and latched onto his. 

This was the moment, the moment that he would grovel at her feet if it meant he could see Aaron. He took a step towards her and when her eyes seemed to soften, no one was more surprised than him. 

Just as he opened up his mouth to say something, she held up her hand, halting him. 

_Fuck._

Robert dropped his hands to his sides and willed his mouth to work. But as he stood in front of Chas Dingle, who could make you sweat just by looking at you on her worst day, all he could think about was the murderous look in her eyes.

Then she said something he had never expected her to say.

"We need to talk."

Robert, nursing his sore arm, followed Chas into a quiet corner in the waiting room. 

"Is he okay?" Robert rushed out, not knowing what Chas wanted to say to him.

"He's in rough shape," Chas said.

"If you're here to tell me to leave, you can forget it. I'm not going anywhere until I see him. If I have to wait two days, two weeks, two fucking months - I'm not leaving."

Chas held her hand up, and Robert wondered if she was going to strike him. "I'm not here to tell you to leave."

Robert swallowed back his next argument and asked instead, "you're not?"

Chas met Robert's gaze head-on, reminding Robert so much of her son. And it made his heart ache in his chest. There was no argument Aaron would back down from, and neither would Chas. 

"No, I'm not," she said. "I'm here to tell you that _we're_ leaving."

Robert narrowed his eyes and sat back. "I don't understand."

"In a couple of hours, I'm going to take Paddy and Eve back home to get some food and get cleaned up."

As what Chas was telling him sank in, Robert was at a complete loss for words. Chas was the last person he expected to show him any compassion. Never in a million years would he have guessed that Aaron's mum would ever let him see her son - not after the way he had spoken to her and all the rumors that were swirling about them now in the media.

"I can't get back there without---"

"They know who you are. You won't any problem getting in to see him."

At that moment, Robert felt the tears he'd been holding back for the last twenty-four hours slide down his cheeks. The olive branch Chas had just offered to him was unexpected. 

"Thank you," Robert said.

"Don't thank me. I'm still not on board with any of this, but just before they wheeled Aaron into surgery, he regained consciousness for a few seconds. The last thing he said before they put him under was 'tell Robert I love him.'"

Robert brought a hand to his mouth and clamped it over his lips, trying to hold back the overwhelming heartache those words caused. Even while lying on an operating table, Aaron had reached out for _him._

"I don't pretend to understand what he sees in you, what he's always seen in you, but I have to honor his wishes. He would kill me if he found out I was the one that kept you away. So go in there, sit with him, talk with him. And please, make my boy wake up."

Robert watched her walk away, then he stood up, and made his way down the hall until he found an empty alcove. He slid down the wall until he was crouched with his back against it. He wrapped his arms around his knees, placed his head on them, and finally let go of every pent-up emotion he'd had over the last twenty-four hours.

The wracking sobs that left his chest made his entire body shake and he clutched his knees tighter, trying to ground himself. The pain inside his heart was excruciating, as though someone was ripping it from his body, and as he opened the floodgates to release some of the strain, it intensified until it physically hurt to cry any more.

Raising his head, Robert looked at the ceiling above him. His eyes stung from the sheer amount of tears he'd shed, and as he thought about the man he would _finally_ get to see in a couple of hours and all of the things he wanted to say to him.

Starting with _I love you too._


	15. Chapter 15

Robert settled back into the chair in the waiting room and watched the rain hitting the glass behind him running in rivulets down the windowpane, and tried not to think about how much his eyes stung from all the tears he had cried or how the hole in his heart made his chest ache.

As he drifted off, Robert wondered if the hollow feeling inside his chest would ever ease up.

When Victoria found him an hour later, he was nursing a cold cup of coffee in a styrofoam cup, and when she told him to go home to shower and change, he was too exhausted to fight her. 

_You want to look your best when he opens his eyes, don't you?_

Yes, he sure as hell did.

****

The media had established their presence as they camped outside the hospital, waiting for news on Aaron Dingle's condition. They had their cameras and note pads ready as they waited impatiently outside the doors for any tidbit of news they could get their greedy hands on. Aaron's management team had managed to subdue them for now with a brief statement, but that hadn't satisfied the greedy vultures. They wanted more.

When a famous person was in an accident that left them in life threatening condition, it was a huge story that numerous media outlets would be stupid not to cover, even if it meant infringing on the privacy of the celebrity's family and the hospital. Ethics and empathy didn't come into play.

Robert didn't engage with the swarm of reporters, but part of him wanted to tell them to fuck the hell off, but he knew that if he lost his cool with them it would be all over social media before the day was over. And the last thing he wanted Aaron to wake up to were headlines that his boyfriend had gone on a rampage while he was in a coma fighting for his life.

So he ignored them when they hounded him for an interview, shoving cameras into his face as Victoria led him out through the doors and to the parking lot. Instead he muttered "no comment" and as the rain continued to pour down, he put the hood of his jacket up and slipped inside Victoria's car and slammed the door.

He needed to calm the fuck down before he saw Aubree. She couldn't seen him like this - a complete and utter mess. He needed to see her, to hold her close and feel all that love seep into his bones. At least now that Chrissie had made a full confession, Aubree was safe. But if it meant costing Aaron his life? 

_No, don't think like that. He's going to be fine._

When Victoria pulled up to his flat, she reached over and laid her hand on top of his. "Go inside, have a shower and put some fresh clothes on, then come see your little girl before she goes off to school. You need her, Rob. More than you ever have."

Robert nodded because he couldn't speak. Tears were threatening to cascade down his face again and he'd be damned if anyone saw them, even his sister. 

And when he got out of the car and the rain hit his face, he welcomed the downpour.

***

He jumped into the shower and let the hot water cascade over his sore muscles. He barely noticed the cuts and scrapes that now covered his body, but as the water rushed over him, his entire body felt like it was on fire.

The dirt and blood were now washed away, but he still felt their presence, a constant reminder that he could have easily been killed. And Aaron, who never should have been in his car in the fucking first place because then he would have been safe, was hooked up to two ventilators just to stay alive.

Chrissie had wanted to make sure he ended up dead. In her warped mind, his death was the only way to right his infidelity. For six years she had planned this, meticulously and down to the very last detail.

He couldn't even fathom how someone could be so cruel, so vindictive to the point of wanting someone dead. It made him angry. If he ever saw Chrissie again, he would let her have it. He would not hold back. He was going to make sure she paid for what she'd done. 

He didn't even care that his Audi was beyond repair, resorted to just piles of metal that were unsalvageable. He could always get another car. He would never find another Aaron. No, that man was irreplaceable, and it had taken this tragedy to make him realize that.

God, he hated when his sister was right. The last thing he wanted Aaron to see when he first opened up those beautiful blue eyes of his was a man disheveled and run down. He pulled on clean jeans, a black shirt, and satisfied that he looked at least somewhat presentable, he walked over to Victoria's and Adam's to see Aubree.

And when Aubree opened the door and her face broke into a big grin, he pulled her into his arms and finally let go of all the anger that had been simmering since the accident. 

He sat with Aubree at the kitchen table and over breakfast she asked him a million questions about Aaron, none of which he could answer honestly without scaring her, so he skirted around the truth and told her he was away for work. He hated lying to her, but he knew how attached she'd become to Aaron, and telling her the truth would only upset her.

*****

He was quiet in the car as Victoria drove him back to the hospital. And when she reached across the console and placed her hand in his, his other hand stilled on the door handle.

"He's going to be alright," she said. 

"You don't know that," Robert said.

"Maybe not, but I believe he will be. Do you know why? Because look what he has waiting for him."

"I'm no prize, Vic."

"Don't make me punch you."

That made him laugh, even under the circumstances. "He has to wake up, he has to. I have so much to say to him."

"And you'll get the chance. You're doing fine, Rob. You just have to stay strong. For him and for Aubree. You'll get through this."

****

When Robert found himself being led through the double doors and down several winding corridors, it took everything inside of him to put one foot in front of the other. He couldn't remember how he got to the ICU, but somehow he'd ended up there. With his jacket clutched in his hands, Robert took several steps towards the glass sliding door, petrified of what he would see on the other side. As he got closer, he reminded himself to breathe, but nothing prepared him for what he saw.

The bed was in the middle of the room surrounded by a mountain of equipment. But it was the man lying on the bed, flat on his back, in the semi-darkness, white sheets around his waist, that had Robert reaching for the wall for support and his nerve endings dancing. Nothing prepared him for seeing Aaron, usually so full of life, so still and quiet.

Aaron's arms lay still by his sides. One had an IV inserted into the top of his hand, and the other had a small, blue clamp on his index fingers that monitored his pulse. But it was seeing the drainage tube inserted just below Aaron's purple-tinged ribs and the tangle of them winding from the machines by either side of his head to his mouth that had Robert gripping the door jamp so tight that his knuckles turned white.

"It's hard to see him like that, isn't it?"

The quiet voice came from behind him. When he turned, he saw Leslie, Aaron's editor standing there, clutching a manuscript, and a red purse over her shoulder. She was staring through the glass at the man lying there motionless.

"It's still surreal," she continued when she sensed he wasn't ready to talk. "I was just with him earlier. He had just handed me this." She indicated the manuscript in her hand. "It's the best thing he's ever written."

"Yeah?"

"He hasn't told you anything about it?"

"No." _He never got the chance to._

"There's something in here I think you should read," she said, handing the manuscript to him. "He wasn't sure you were ready so he asked me not to take it to our publisher yet, not until he had a chance to talk to you about it."

Robert looked down at the manuscript in his hands.

Leslie shot him a grin that didn't quite reach her eyes. "He really loves you. It took him years to come to terms with it, I think. It was all there in his first book, very carefully hidden. He didn't like to talk about his past so I knew that something had happened, but he always changed the subject when I tried to bring it up. Then he came here and it was like something inside of him changed. Every time I talked to him, he sounded different. He sounded happy. Yesterday he told me why when he gave me his last draft and saw what he'd written inside the cover."

"I don't understand."

"I've worked with Aaron for a few years now, and I feel like I know my writers pretty well. But with Aaron, he's always been a closed book, hard to read. But yesterday? I could see how happy he was. He never mentioned you by name, but I figured with the initials RS, my first instincts were right."

"What instincts?"

"That first day I met you in the barn, I sensed there had been something between you, something that went beyond friendship. It took me a while, but I figured out what it was. Joshua, the man in Aaron's first book that had trouble coming to terms with who he is, is you."

No point in denying it, Robert thought. Not anymore. "I'm not proud of the person I was back then."

"Aaron said you weren't thrilled about his book being turned into a movie. You were afraid people would connect it back to the two of you."

"Not anymore. It doesn't matter now. The whole world can know for all I care."

"I'm glad to hear that," she said. "So why don't you open it up the manuscript and tell me what you think. I have to get this over to the publisher today."

Robert looked back down at the manuscript and opened it up to the first page.

_Beneath the Shadows, a psychological thriller by Aaron Dingle._

He turned the page and what he saw made his vision blurry and his heart race.

**_To RS: I never would have had the courage to try and write my first book if it wasn't for you. I've always regretted the way we ended, and I never thought life would lead me back to you, but here we are and I'm so grateful we got a second chance to do things right. You've taught me so much about myself, about what love is, but mostly, that I would be completely lost without you. When I get the courage to ask you, say yes. Don't make me wait. I don't want easy, I want messed up with you. Forever._**

He handed Leslie the manuscript back and wiped his eyes with the sleeve of his shirt. "Take this to Aaron's publisher."

"You sure?"

Robert nodded. 

Before she got to the door that would take her back out to the hallway, she turned around. "Robert?"

"Yeah?"

"Love him. Love him and don't let him go. I lost my husband a few years ago, so please take this from someone who knows what it feels like to lose the person you love. When he wakes up, tell him you love him, or tell him you hate him. Just tell him."

It was weird, Robert thought, that he felt compelled to bare his soul to a stranger, someone he'd only met once before, when he'd only just come to terms with his feelings, feelings that still scared the hell out of him. "I love him. It took a long time for me to finally admit that to myself. And now that I have, I don't know what the hell took me so long. And now I could lose him and every time I think about it, I can't breathe."

"I know the feeling," she said quietly.

"I'm sorry about your husband."

"Thank you." She blinked back tears. "You love him, so tell him. You may never get another chance."

Before Robert could respond, Leslie was gone.

* * *

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

That the first sound Robert heard as he slid the door open and stepped inside Aaron's hospital room. He placed his jacket over the arm of the aqua-colored chair in the corner of the room and slowly made his way across to the bed Aaron was stretched out on. There was bandages wrapped around his head and pads were attached to his skin that connected to a machine that monitored his heart.

The picture in front of him was gut-wrenching, it made Robert feel nauseous.

Robert came across to the left side of the bed and practically fell into the chair beside the bed and reached over and grabbed one of Aaron's hands. It was warm, and as Robert lowered his head and pressed his lips to Aaron's fingers, he felt his body start to shake as the shock of seeing Aaron so lifeless took over.

The tears were starting up again as he kissed Aaron's knuckles. Then he glanced up at his face and said the words he knew he would say if Aaron's eyes were open. "I'm here," he whispered quietly. "And I love you. God, I love you so much."

Robert just wanted Aaron to open his eyes and flick a glance in his direction or squeeze his hand, anything to let Robert know he heard him. But nothing.

This was wrong, so wrong. He should be the one in that bed, not Aaron. 

Chas was right, he thought. This was all his fault. _He_ was the reason Aaron was here, fighting for his life.

He would never forgive himself for that. Never.

"I don't know if you can hear me right now, but damn it, Aaron, I need you to wake up." Closing his eyes, Robert squeezed the fingers he was holding. "Do you remember the first time we kissed?" He knew he wouldn't get a response, but thought about what Chas told him hours earlier.

_See him, talk to him. Make my boy wake up._

"It was in the barn, remember? You slapped me. But you know me, I always go after what I want, and I wanted you. I don't think I ever told you, but that wasn't the first time I thought about kissing you and it certainly wasn't the last. I didn't know then just how far I would go to keep you."

Resting his arms on the bed, Robert stroked a thumb over the back of Aaron's hand.

"You told me to leave you alone, that you didn't see me that way, that you never would. We both know you were lying that day. I remember telling you anything I could to make you stay. That's how much I wanted you. You dared me, you pushed me up against the wall and dared me to do it again. And I did."

Robert stopped and shook his head, the memory of their first kiss so real in his mind like it had happened yesterday, not six years ago. 

"You dared me once, so now it's my turn to dare you. Wake up. Wake up and tell me what an asshole I've been since that first night. Yell at me for not choosing you because I deserve it." He sucked in a shaky breath and then let it out. "I love you, and I'm not letting you go. Not now, not ever. I can be as stubborn as you. So don't leave me waiting, okay?"

When the only response he got was the beeping of the machines, Robert sat back in the chair and let his eyes wander around the room, and noticed a plastic bag that was sitting on the table next to the bed. He got to his feet and picked it up. Aaron's clothes were inside. Robert removed the black jacket Aaron had been wearing at the time of the accident. One arm had a hole ripped in it and it smelled distinctively of Aaron.

He turned back to the bed and brought the black cloth up to his face and nuzzled into the collar, and as the scent of Aaron surrounded him, he closed his eyes. 

He leaned down until he was close enough to press his lips to Aaron's forehead. "Leslie was here. She showed me your manuscript. What you wrote....it just reminds me why I fell in love with you in the first place. I don't know if you can hear me, but I need you to know that I would be lost without you, too. And I want messed up with you forever, just like you said. I don't care what anyone thinks and I don't want anyone else. You're it for me, okay? Come on, Aaron. It's time to wake up so I can tell you _yes._ "

* * *

Robert couldn't remember how he ended up in Adam's car. The last thing he remembered was laying his head down for a minute in Aaron's hospital room.

Now he was blinking awake and he was in Adam's car.

_Jesus._

"What the hell am I doing here?" Robert said.

Adam took his eyes off the road to look over at Robert with a frown of concern on his face. "Vic's worried about you. She found you passed out in Aaron's room. She said you fainted."

"Well, fuck you. Take me back."

"No," Adam said, and Robert had the urge to punch him in the jaw.

"Take. Me. Back."

"No."

That answer was really pissing him off, and as Robert unbuckled his seatbelt, Adam reached across and stilled his hand.

"Think about what you're doing," Adam said. "Do you think you'll be any good to Aaron if you can't function? If you get yourself sick?"

Robert wanted to tell Adam to go to hell, but he had a point. Instead, he glared out the window and remained silent. 

_But what if something happens and I'm not there? I'll never forgive myself._

"Vic went to pick Aubree up from school and take her out for ice cream, so you're stuck with me," Adam said.

"How wonderful," Robert muttered.

Adam raised an eyebrow. "What was that?"

"I said, _how fucking wonderful_."

"Robert." Adam sighed.

"What?"

"You were a zombie in there when Vic found you. You were barely coherent. You need to refuel."

Robert rolled his eyes. "How do you know what I need? What I need is to be there. With him."

"He's one of my best friends, you know," Adam said. "I'm worried about him too." It wasn't until he pulled the car to a stop and turned off the ignition that Adam really let him have it. "Listen to me for a second. I know you want to be there, we all do. But there's no way I'm going to let you just sit in that hospital and let your health go to shit. Your sister would kill me. Not the mention Aaron when he wakes up."

"Fine." Robert shoved the car door open and managed to get himself out, which was a feat in itself considering he felt like he was about to keel over. Gripping the side of the car, he held onto it for a minute as everything started to spin. 

"Shit man, you're a goddamned mess. Let's get you inside before you throw up all over my nice new car." Adam ignored the glare Robert sent him and wrapped his arm around Robert's waist to hold him up. 

The stress, the shock, the lack of sleep, finally took its toll.

"Let's get you inside," Adam said, slinging an arm around Robert's shoulders.

"Okay," Robert finally agreed.

Adam grabbed the keys from Robert's jacket pocket and unlocked the door to Robert's flat. "Come on, lay down and get some rest. Then once you feel a bit better, I'll take you back. You'll be there when he wakes up."

The bedroom was too far, so Robert staggered over to the sofa and flopped down against the pillows. He looked over at Adam who stood there looking at him with a worried expression on his face. Robert finally voiced his biggest fear. "What if he never wakes up?"

"He will," Adam said.

"What if he doesn't? You didn't see him, Adam. He's hooked up to so many damn machines it's hard to tell where they ended and he began. Fuck, I feel sick."

"Are you okay?"

_No, of course, I'm not okay. What kind of stupid question is that?_

"No. My head is spinning."

"We're here for you, okay? Don't worry about anything. Work is covered, food is covered. Vic will take care of Aubree. Just concentrate on feeling better. And when Aaron wakes up, we'll all kick his ass."

Robert wasn't sure if Adam just meant to cheer him up or himself, but it worked either way. He laughed through tears that wouldn't stop flowing. "Fuck. I've never cried so much in my life."

"Cry as much as you want to. It doesn't do any good to keep shit bottled up. It just finds other ways out."

"I don't know what I'll do if he doesn't wake up. I don't think I can do this. I, I----"

"He's going to wake up, stop saying otherwise. Aaron, he's determined, he's a fighter. He's gotten through worse than this, he'll get through this too. But he's going to need you to take care of yourself. The last thing he needs to worry about is your sorry ass. So sit your ass back down and get some sleep. When you wake up, I'll take you back to him. Deal?"

Robert laid his head back on the pillow and before Adam had even gotten to the kitchen to start some coffee, Robert was asleep.

Adam brewed coffee, keeping one eye on the sleeping man in the living room. He never would have pegged Robert for being interested in blokes, especially after his brief marriage to Chrissie, and he certainly wouldn't have been Adam's first choice for his best friend, especially after learning about what went on behind closed doors between them six years ago. It didn't seem to matter anymore that Robert had been cheating on Chrissie or that he had broken Aaron's heart, Robert had proven, just in the last twenty-four hours, that he loved Aaron. The man had refused to leave the hospital, disregarding his own needs including his health. The circles under his eyes, the heartbreak so evident on his tired features, that couldn't be faked.

No, it seemed that maybe Robert Sugden wasn't so heartless after all. And his love for his little girl, the devotion, that was evident too. That kid of his never stopped talking about how her daddy hung the moon and the stars in her eyes.

But Adam would never tell a soul that he thought Robert Sugden was a decent guy.

Adam took one more look at Robert, and when he heard the light snores, Adam knew the guy was going to be out for a while. He poured a cup of coffee and then called his wife. "Hey Vic, it's me. Yeah, he's finally sleeping. He's in rough shape. How's Aubree? Yeah? Tell her he misses her too. And hey Vic? I love you so much."

If there was ever a time to tell someone you loved them, it was now.


	16. Chapter 16

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

_What is that noise?_ Aaron thought as he tried to force his eyes open. They felt heavy as lead, and after several attempts, they finally opened and everything around him came into view. A white, blurry view.

He blinked a couple of times, figuring he must have been in one hell of a deep sleep, then tried again. He heard the incessant beeping around him, and as the fog started to dissipate and the room came into sharper focus, Aaron realized that something was definitely not right. 

There was throbbing ache down his right side, and one of his arms was wrapped in a bandage, trapped across his chest, holding his shoulder immobile. An IV was poking out of his other hand.

_An IV....the hospital... The excruciating ache in my shoulder... What the hell happened?_

His eyes searched the room until they landed on the only other person in the room, a woman, with her back turned to him.

His mum.

He opened his mouth to say her name, but was shocked at the raspy sound that came out. It didn't sound anything like him. His eyes frantically searched the rest of the room, looking for any sign of Robert.

But he wasn't there. It was just him and his mum, alone in a hospital room.

"Oh God. Thank God you're awake!"

Aaron swallowed, tried to speak again, but his throat felt like it was on fire - not to mention scratched to shit.

"No, don't try to talk, love." She unfolded her legs from the chair and walked over to him. 

Aaron tracked her movements as his pulse started to race and his anxiety level rose to a high. _What happened to me?_ He tried to remember how he'd ended up in the hospital, but came up blank. His mind kept going back to Robert. _Where the hell was he?_

When she leaned down to kiss his forehead, Aaron managed to grab the wrist that was resting by his hand on the bed. He took it between his fingers, and as she stilled, their eyes connected. It was the first time he'd gotten a really good look at her - and she looked exhausted. Her eyes were red and there were bags under her eyes. She looked like she hadn't slept in days.

Aaron opened his mouth, and as his dry lips parted, he tried to speak. He didn't care about anyone else, he didn't even care about the god damn doctors, what he wanted - no, what he needed - was to know where Robert was.

_Why isn't he here with me? Did something happen to him?_

Then he remembered the accident, and Aaron thought he was going to throw up.

_Oh my God. Was Robert dead?_

When no words came out, he shut his eyes, frustrated at his inability to voice his thoughts. 

Chas placed another kiss on his forehead. "Don't worry, he's here." When she raised her eyes, Aaron saw the soft expression in her eyes as she stroked her fingers on his forehead. "He's been here every day. Vic made him go home though and get some rest."

Aaron frowned. How long had he been in here?

"I'm going to go get the doctors. You stay right there."

Where the hell was he going to go? Aaron thought as he looked around at all the machines he was hooked up to. 

* * *

Days turned into a week, then a week turned into four before Aaron finally started showing signs of improvement.

The doctors had removed the drain on his right side and the tubes that had been helping him breathe had been taken out. Now, fourty-hours later, Aaron was breathing on his own.

Every day Robert had come to the hospital, but Chas was still adamant that he keep his distance, only letting him in to see Aaron at night after the familly had gone home. But he still refused to leave the waiting room except when Victoria demanded he go home to get some rest or to spend time with Aubree.

His head rested against the wall, Robert sat in the far corner of the now familiar room and waited for the nurse to let him inside Aaron's room. 

"Mr. Sugden?"

Robert got to his feet, and made his way over to where the nurse was standing by the doors. As he walked down the hall with her, she turned to him and smiled. 

"I don't know if anyone's told you yet, but Mr. Dingle woke up tonight."

Robert stopped in the middle of the hall and stared at her. "What did you say?" 

"No one told you then." She placed a hand on his arm. "He's awake."

"Since when?" Robert asked, hardly recognizing his own voice.

He had been barely functioning these last four weeks, and if it hadn't been for Aubree keeping him sane with her bubbling laugh and constant smile brightening up his day that he would have lost his mind completely a long time ago.

"About half an hour ago. His mum is in with him now."

Robert reached for the wall beside him, his legs wobbly. _He's really awake? This better not be a dream._

"Would you like to go in and see him?"

"Yes. God yes."

He followed her down the hall, and when he stepped into the ICU, a nurse came out from behind the desk to greet him. He'd seen her in Aaron's room several times over the last four weeks, but couldn't for the life of him remember her name. His hands were shaking so bad, Robert shoved them in the pockets of his jeans as she approached him.

"He's been asking for you. He's quite adamant that he doesn't want to see anyone, even the doctor, until he sees you."

A smile so wide stretched across Robert's face that he was surprised it didn't break. _That stubborn shit,_ he thought fondly. "Is that right?"

"Yes. His mum came to find me when he first woke up. He's having a hard time right now vocalizing due to the tubes. But he wrote this and gave it to me when I was in there checking his vitals."

Robert took the piece of paper from her and opened it.

_I want to see Robert. NOW._

Robert clenched the paper in his fist and sucked in a gulp of air.

"Are you okay?" she asked, and touched his hand, concerned.

"Yeah." He let out a relieved sigh. "I've never been better. Can I see him now?" He knew he sounded impatient, but he didn't care. He'd waited four fucking weeks for this moment.

She held the door open to Aaron's hospital room, and Robert moved towards it slowly, and wondered if he'd ever been so nervous in his life. No, he fucking hadn't. He wanted to see Aaron - no, he _needed_ to see him. He'd waited four agonizing weeks for Aaron to open his eyes.

When he stepped inside the room and his eyes finally collided with the gorgeous blue ones he'd so desperately missed, Robert couldn't stop the grin that spread across his face, a face that had only known misery for the last month.

"Mr. Dingle. I hear you've been looking for me."

* * *

Aaron had been going out of his mind for the past twenty minutes, while the nurse checked his temperature, blood pressure and every other vital she could think of to torment him. And then his mum had fawned all over him, but he couldn't have cared less.

This, the man standing in front of him, was the only person he wanted to see, the person he _needed_ to see, and damn it if he wasn't taking in every inch of him.

And as Robert got closer to him, Aaron found himself trying to sit up. 

"No," Robert told him, wagging his finger back and forth, scolding him. "Just stay where you are. Don't try and move."

Aaron could only watch Robert as he sat beside his bed, and when Robert reached for his hand and enterwined their fingers, Aaron finally felt like the universe was aligning, that everything was finally falling right back into place where they belonged.

Robert was trying to put up a brave front, but Aaron thought he looked one breath short of shattering. And when Robert's eyes roamed over him and his fingers tightened their hold, Aaron shut his eyes.

This felt right. And when Robert brought Aaron's hand up to his lips to kiss them, Aaron opened his eyes and turned his hand so he could stroke his fingers over the dark stubble covering Robert's jaw. Aaron traced them up and over his ear and then pushed them through Robert's hair. The sound that left Robert was somewhere between pleasure and anguish as he leaned over and pressed his cheek against Aaron's hand.

"Aaron, oh god. These last few weeks..." Robert's eyes were shut, but he kept talking, trying and failing at putting into words what it had been like for him since the accident. Aaron stroked the hair away from Robert's face and saw the tears falling down his face. It was clear by the tormented words and the trembling through his body that Robert had been through hell and back again.

Aaron opened his mouth and made himself speak. "Robert." His voice was barely audible, but Robert's eyes opened.

"Shhh."

But Aaron wasn't going to be deterred. Aaron shook his head and forced his lips to move. "Love you."

Robert got to his feet and pressed their lips together in a kiss filled with all of the overwhelming emotions neither of them could vocalize. Aaron closed his eyes, taking in the scent of Robert, and when he finally pulled away and offered a shaky smile, Aaron noticed that it didn't quite reach his eyes.

"I love you too," Robert managed.

"I'm sorry."

"Dont," Robert said, cutting him off and brushing a few of his curls away from his face. "This was my fault. I'm the reason you're here in the first place. I'm the one that's sorry." Robert brought his lips to Aaron's ear. "You woke up, that's all that matters. Don't try to talk anymore, you need to save your strength," Robert said when Aaron coughed.

Robert looked around and spotted the pad and pen beside the bed. He handed them both to Aaron. "You have something you want to say, write it down."

Aaron scrawled something on the pad. **Tell me what happened after the accident. Were you hurt?**

Of course Aaron would be worried about _him._ Aaron was the most unselfish person he had ever met.

"I'm fine. Just a few scratches and bruises, nothing I couldn't handle. You on the other hand, scared the shit out of me."

Aaron wrote again. **Did you find out what caused the accident?**

Robert shut his eyes for a moment. "Chrissie. Chrissie hit us. She's confessed and she'll be sentenced in a few weeks. For life if I have anything to say about it."

**I'm sorry. Are you okay?**

"Why are you asking me if I'm okay? You're the one that's been in a coma."

Aaron wrote something else, and when Robert saw the words scrawled there, he laughed. "You don't look so great either."

Aaron grinned, then sighed as he wrote again. **How long have I been here?**

"Four weeks." God, had it only been four? It felt more like months.

Aaron looked down at his bandaged arm, then brought his eyes back to Robert. 

"It broke my heart," Robert admitted, his voice soft and full of pain. "Broken ribs, punctured lungs. You couldn't even breathe on your own. You..." He stopped as he remebered the first time he'd seen Aaron lying in this room with tubes taped to his mouth and he lost his ability to remain composed. "Fuck, Aaron, I thought I was going to lose you, that I would never get the chance to tell you..."

"Hey." Aaron's voice was raspy, so he picked up the pad and paper again from where he'd put them down beside him. 

**I'm sorry you had to go through all of that. If it was the other way around, I don't think I could have handled it.**

"It was worth every agononizing second to see you open your eyes." When Aaron reached out his hand, Robert took it in his. 

**My mum was here when I woke up.**

Robert grimaced, remembering their argument when Chas had first stormed through the hospital doors when Aaron had first been brought in. "Yeah, her and Paddy have been here every day."

The scowl on Aaron's face had Robert rubbing a hand over his own. 

**Please tell me she didn't say anything to upset you.**

"Aaron, it's fine. Her and I, it was tense at first, but she understands now that I wasn't going to let anything keep me from seeing you. She wasn't happy with me at first, but I can't say I blame her. She's right, it's my fault that you're in here, that you almost died. And don't try and tell me otherwise. If it wasn't for me and all my stupid mistakes, we wouldn't be in this mess."

Aaron shot him a look that clearly said "that's ridiculous" and then he grimaced as a sharp pain ran up his arm.

"Do you need me to get the doctor?" Robert asked.

Aaron shook his head. **Keep going, I want to hear the rest.**

"She let me come in and see you in the end, but she pretty much controlled when I could come in and when I couldn't. She was just trying to protect you I know that, I tried to tell her about us but she wouldn't hear any of it. She pretty much told me that I was making shit up because you would never get back with me."

A flash of annoyance colored Aaron's cheeks and his jaw tightened. He started to furiously write on the pad of paper again. When he thrust the pad at Robert, his eyes were full of anger.

**She let you? What am I, fucking ten years old?**

"Getting in to see you the first week as a fucking nightmare. I was going out of my mind. But Vic and Adam, they were here for me. Made me go home, get some sleep, spend time with Aubree when it was getting to be too much. They took good care of me, and kept me from going down to the police station and killing Chrissie with my bare hands."

**Where the hell have you been then if Mum only let you in my room when it suited her?**

"In the waiting room."

"For a whole fucking month?" 

"Hey," Robert said, trapping Aaron's hands between his palms. "I still got to see you. That got me through." Robert ran a hand through Aaron's curls. "And I had Aubree to worry about. After a few weeks, I had to tell her that you had been in an accident. She kept asking me where you were and my 'he's out of town for work' only worked for so long. And after I spent months dodging her questions about her mum, I had to tell her the truth. She wanted to come see you, and I told her she could when you were feeling better."

Aaron smiled despite the pain in his ribs and the soreness in his shoulder. 

"And now that you're awake, I can see you whenever the hell I want to. And now we can concentrate on getting you better so we can get you home."

Aaron looked nervous as he wrote again. **Before the accident, there was something I wanted to tell you. About my book.**

"Leslie already showed it to me. I can't believe you wrote that about me, about us."

**Are you mad?**

"No, no. Not at all. How could I be after what you wrote? I know what you're going to say, that I wasn't exactly thrilled about the first one, but things have changed, I've changed. Almost losing you made me realize just how precious life is. I want to stop wasting time, I want to stop hiding who I am. I want to be myself now, with you. I know it won't be easy, but I don't want easy. I want messed up with you forever." And when Aaron smiled at him at Robert's use of his own words, Robert leaned in closer to whisper into his ear. "I've been waiting four weeks to tell you this. I love you."

There was no force strong enough that could stop Aaron from trying to speak now. "I love you too."

And when Robert took Aaron's face in his hands and their lips collided, Robert felt all of the anger and pain that had held a firm grip on his heart, loosen. 

Aaron was here, he was awake, and he wasn't going to let anything keep them apart ever again.


	17. Chapter 17

Aaron propped his crutches against the sink and stared at his reflection in the mirror. He had been discharged from the hospital almost a week ago, and the bruising that had discolored his ribs were starting to fade, and the incision where the tube had been was almost healed, but his recovery was slow, painfully slow. But it sure as hell beat being confined to a hospital bed.

Robert couldn't take his eyes off Aaron, standing in front of the mirror in his bathroom, his chest bare, grey sweat pants hung loosely around his hips, and running a finger over the scar by his ribs.

Robert cleared his throat, which suddenly was dry. "What are you doing?"

Aaron couldn't hide the wince that left his lips at the sharp pain as his fingers grazed the bandage on his side. "Just checking on the damage." He couldn't take his eyes off Robert, who was carefully studying him as if he was afraid he was going to disappear in front of him. "Hey, don't do that. I'm fine. I have medication for the pain, it's not that bad."

Robert's eyes zeroed in on the bruises covering his boyfriend's body - yes, they were officially out in public now and the press was still having a field day with that one - and couldn't help but feel the intense guilt every time he saw them. "I'm sorry. I'm just worried about you."

Aaron hadn't exactly been pleased when the doctor had told him before being discharged that he couldn't do any strenuous activity until his final follow up, which still wasn't for another week. That included anything physical with Robert. Aaron wondered how long they were going to be able to hold out considering he was staying with Robert and Aubree during his recovery. All it took was for Robert to walk into the room and look at him for Aaron to crave Robert's touch, which he was now being denied.

"I'm here if you need anything, you know that right?" Robert said, and drew his shirt up over his head. He knew they couldn't be intimate, but he needed to feel Aaron's skin against his. And when he came up behind Aaron and put his hands around his waist gently, making sure to not come near any of the scars or bruises that were still causing Aaron discomfort, he nuzzled Aaron's neck. 

Aaron shut his eyes and let out a breath he'd been holding as Robert's naked flesh met his own. "You're not playing fair. You know I can't do anything _strenuous._ "

"I'm as frustrated as you are," Robert assured him. "Trust me."

"Then stop looking at me like that. It's distracting, and I can't do a single thing about it."

"How am I looking at you?"

"Like I'm still hooked up to---"

"Breathing machines, heart monitors, and a million different IV's?" As Robert relayed the picture that would be forever imprinted in his mind, he rested his head on Aaron's shoulder and shut his eyes, trying to block them out.

"Yes," Aaron said. "Just like that."

"I don't know if I can do that."

"Will you ever see me the same way you did before?" Aaron held his breath as Robert's eyes darkened.

"No," Robert said, and Aaron felt his heart sink at the answer. "And it's only because before this happened, before I spent a month waiting for you to wake up, I didn't realize how important you were to me. Now I see you as someone that I just can't live without. So no, I won't ever see you the same way I did before, but in a good way."

Aaron let out the breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding and brought his hands up to Robert's face. as they stood there in the bathroom naked from the waist up. Aaron closed his eyes when Robert's lips caressed his.

Robert's lips curved. "So don't think for one minute that I'm not counting down the hours until the doctor gives you the all-clear."

"The worst is over, you know. Just one more week and everything will be back to normal." Which was a good thing because he had to be on a plane in nine days. He just wished he felt strong and sure of himself, and not so vulnerable and needy. Aaron wasn't particularly fond of the mess he had turned into.

"Aaron?" Robert's voice brought Aaron out of his thoughts.

"Hmm?" Aaron felt warm lips by his ear as Robert carefully placed his arms around Aaron's waist.

"Even covered in these bruises and that sling around your shoulder, you're still sexy to me. If it wasn't for the strict rules from the doctor and if I wasn't so worried about hurting you, I would be all over you right now."

* * *

The next morning, Robert stood at the foot of his bed and tightened his tie. He was already running late, and this was the second time Jimmy had called him in a panic asking where the hell he was and what was so important for him to be late for their breakfast meeting with one of their most important clients.

"Keep your panties on," Robert muttered as he balanced his phone between his ear and his shoulder as he zipped up his jacket. "It's barely...." One glance down at his watch told him he was running even further behind then he thought. "Sorry, this morning has been a madhouse. I thought I had more time. I'll be there as soon as I can."

"I'll do my best to charm Mr. Scott while you get your ass in gear," Jimmy said before he hung up.

"Aubree! You better have all your stuff together because I'm already late," Robert called as he went to check the bedroom beside his, the one Aaron had been staying in.

Aaron was lying with two pillows propped up behind him, his laptop on his lap, papers scattered everywhere. "I wish you would let me get up and take her to school, save you some time."

Robert gave him a look that clearly said _I don't think so_. "You're not allowed to drive yet, besides I'm her father. It's my job to take her to school."

Aaron looked back down at his laptop and started typing, and tried to pretend what Robert had just said didn't bother him, except it did. A lot.

Robert came around to the other side of the bed and sat down. "I'll check in on you later, yeah?" Aaron didn't look up, keeping his attention on the screen in front of him, and refused to dignify that with a response of any kind, which made Robert sigh. "I didn't mean it like that, I'm sorry. I'm under a lot of stress right now. Jimmy is breathing down my neck about this client, Aubree didn't want to get out of bed so I couldn't have a shower, and there's no coffee in the house. But still, I shouldn't have taken it out on you. I'm sorry."

Aaron turned his head until their eyes met. "Go to work, Robert. I can take care of myself. You don't need to keep checking up on me."

"If you need anything, you have my number."

As soon as he was at the bedroom door, Aaron leaned back against the pillows. "Rob?"

Robert turned around and cocked his head to the side. "Yeah?"

"Please stop worrying about me and just take care of yourself or you're going to end up in the hospital, and that's the thing you need. Vic or Adam can help with Aubree if you need it. You don't need to do everything."

"I'll think about it." He wasn't even considering it, but knew saying it was the only way he would get Aaron to drop the subject.

"And don't call me every hour checking up on me. Leslie's coming over to go over a few things before my trip to London next week."

"I still don't think it's a good idea for you to go away so soon."

"The premiere is only a few weeks away and they need me there before they release the final trailer, then I have to go to see my publisher to pick out the cover for my new book. It will only take three, four days tops. I'll be fine. Plus my agent wants me to make a statement while I'm down there. I haven't spoken out about the accident and people are curious."

"What's to say?" Robert snapped. "Chrissie admitted it was her and she was sentenced to eight years. Mystery solved, you shouldn't have to make a fucking statement about it."

"Rob, calm down and go to work before Jimmy really lets you have it."

"Fine, but this conversation isn't over."

Aaron knew Robert was on edge and stressed to the max, and it pissed him off that no matter how many times he told Robert he was fine, it didn't seem to help ease Robert's mind.

Aaron heard the front door slam behind Robert and Aubree, who was still complaining about not being able to find her favorite pink shoes, and not two minutes later, he was fast asleep.

* * *

How long had he been asleep? Aaron wondered groggily as his eyes opened and he realized he wasn't in his bedroom, he was in Robert's. Then he remembered after he had shown Leslie out the front door after their meeting, he had come up here to get his medication from Robert's bathroom and exhausted from climbing the stairs, he had curled up on Robert's bed. And had apparently fallen asleep because now it was dark outside.

Aaron rubbed his eyes and covered a yawn with his hand.

Robert was standing on the other side of the room taking his shirt off. Aaron groaned inwardly and struggled to sit up.

"Sorry," Aaron said. "I didn't realize I fell asleep in here." He reached for the crutches he'd left perched against the wall and used them to help get himself out of the bed.

Robert looked at Aaron as he hobbled to the door. He reached out and placed a hand on Aaron's chest. "Don't go." 

One of Aaron's eyebrows rose. "You've had a long day and it's late. I'm just going to go back to my---"

Robert silenced him with a kiss. "Stay with me. Please."

It was hard for Aaron to deny Robert anything when he looked at him like that. Aaron's eyes swept over the ones looking at him like he was afraid he was going to disappear. "Hey," Aaron whispered. "I'm fine, you know you don't have to worry anymore, right?"

Robert flashed him a smile, trying to hide the unease he felt. "I know, but I still worry about you. Sue me."

Aaron boldly grabbed the back of Robert's neck and pulled him forward. "Why don't you kiss me instead?"

"You're supposed to be taking it easy." Robert tried to put some distance between them, but Aaron was not letting him get far. Before he knew it, Aaron had him caged in and had pushed him back against the wall.

"Kiss me," Aaron demanded as Robert's lips hovered over his. Robert lowered his head, and their lips met. The sound that left Aaron filled Robert's ears as he cupped Aaron's face between his hands and dove right back in for more. Robert's mouth on his made it impossible for Aaron to think about anything else. One taste was never enough; he pulled Robert's mouth back to his and demanded more, using his good hand to pull Robert even closer. 

"Do that again," Aaron whispered, his breath hot against Robert's ear. 

Robert's heart jackhammered at the intensity in Aaron's eyes, and when their mouths collided again and Robert got another taste, he delved back in for more.

And when Robert's fingers stroked his jaw, Aaron closed his eyes and buried his nose in the crook of Robert's neck.

* * *

_One Week Later_

The next week passed slowly but now that the day was finally here, Aaron couldn't wait to get the sling off his shoulder and the final clearance from his doctor so that he could go back to living his life normally.

Robert had already left to take Aubree to school when he woke up. The throbbing pain in his shoulder was back, but it was manageable. As he poured a glass of water in the kitchen and swallowed his pills, there was a knock on the door.

When Aaron hobbled to the front door and pulled it open, the last person he expected to find on the other side was his mum. The last time he had seen her had ended with him lashing out at her for the way she had treated Robert while he was in the hospital, and Chas had been relentless in defending herself and refusing to apologize, which had resulted in Aaron slamming the door behind him as he stormed out of the pub.

That was six days ago and he hadn't seen her since.

Aaron pretended to stifle a yawn, hoping she would hurry up and tell him what she wanted so they could get on with it. He had to be at the doctor's in an hour and Robert would be back any minute to pick him up.

Chas' eyes darted over his shoulder before landing back on his. 

"If you're looking for Rob, he's not here. He will be in a few minutes though. We have my follow up appointment this morning," Aaron said, breaking the silence.

"I wish you would just come back to the pub and let me take care of you. You're still recovering from your injuries, and with Rob working and Aubree needing his constant attention---"

"I can take care of myself just fine. And I like being here." He didn't really want to go through all of this again, especially now when he was so close to getting his freedom back.

"I was just worried about you. I haven't heard from you since..."

"Our conversation last week when you refused to listen to how I felt?"

"You made your feelings clear, Aaron. I was just trying to explain why I did what I did. I thought you would understand."

"Well, you thought wrong."

"Aaron, please. Can't you just hear me out?"

"I told you, I have an appointment."

"Just hear me out, please? Give me five minutes, that's all I'm asking."

Aaron stepped back to let her inside, "Okay, five minutes, but I'm warning you now if you say one bad thing about Robert, this conversation is over _._ I've already told you, the way you treated him doesn't sit right with me."

Chas had the decency to look ashamed. "I know you're upset with me about that, but you need to understand where I was coming from at the time. I was doing what I thought was best for my son. And yes I know what happened wasn't entirely Robert's fault, but he was partly to blame. If he hadn't---"

"If he hadn't had an affair with me, you mean."

"His ex-wife is dangerous. I know Robert didn't have any idea what she had planned, but it doesn't change the fact that she was out to destroy him because of his infidelity."

"We're both well aware of that," Aaron said dryly. "Do you have any idea how guilty he feels? He thinks this is all his fault. And you made him feel even worse about it."

"I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to upset him. It was a tough time for all of us."

"It was tough for him. It _is_ still tough for him," Aaron said. "I can see it when he looks at me. He went along with doing things your way because he didn't want you to cut him off from seeing me completely. He's a decent guy, mum. That's one of the reasons why I love him." When Chas' lips tightened at his words, Aaron sighed. "And that's not going to change. And if you spent five minutes with him you would see through all your bullshit prejudices and you would see why I do."

The silence that engulfed the room was filled with tension, but Aaron refused to back down. He meant every word he said about Robert, and if his mum didn't like it well too damn bad. "This is my life, mum. You don't get a say in how I live it. And if you can't support my decisions, and who I choose to spend my life with, you can just stay away."

When Chas finally spoke, her eyes were filled with tears. "He stayed there every day, even when I told him I didn't want him in your room. When Paddy and I first came to the hospital the night of the accident, he was there. The nurse wouldn't give him any information because I was your only emergency contact on file. He was so angry. He stood there in the middle of the hospital and demanded to know how you were, stood in front of a crowd full of people and said you were his partner and that he loved you, that he wasn't leaving until he saw you. It took a lot of guts for him to do that."

Aaron would have paid to see that. He had waited six long years for Robert to admit who he was, the part of himself he kept hidden away for so long. 

Chas gripped the purse in her hand and tried to find the right words, something to make Aaron understand why she'd acted the way she did. "I'm your mum, Aaron. You were the only person I was thinking about. When I got the call that you were in an accident, I rushed over to the hospital as quickly as I could. I didn't care about anything else at that moment. When they told me you had to be rushed into surgery and that the chance of your surviving was slim, it killed me. And when I saw Robert sitting there, I was angry, angry at him for putting you in danger and I lashed out."

"It wasn't Robert's fault."

"I know. And when they took me back to see you before they put you under, you said something to the doctor. You said 'tell Robert I love him'. After that, I went to find Robert."

Aaron had a vague recollection of saying those words, but it felt like a dream. A very hazy dream. "Yet you still dictated when he could see me when I was in a coma. Do you have any idea what that did to him?"

"I'm not proud of how I dealt with things. That's why I came here to apologize."

"It's not me who you have to apologize to."

"Aaron, are you ready to go?" Robert halted and lingered by the front door when he saw who Aaron was talking to. "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt."

Chas turned her attention to the man she'd said some harsh things to, who she had judged without knowing the whole story. "I was just leaving. I just stopped by to see how Aaron was doing. And," she said, looking up at him, "to apologize to you."

"It's not necessary," Robert said.

"Yes, it is. And not just because Aaron wants me to, but because I feel you deserve it. I didn't handle the situation well, and I took it out on you. I blamed you when I shouldn't have, and I didn't let you be with Aaron when I knew if he was awake that's what he would have wanted."

"It's okay," Robert said. "But thank you."

"I know you have to get going, so I'll get out of your way." She turned to Aaron and placed a kiss on his cheek. "Take care of yourself, okay? And come by the pub later. We've all missed seeing your face around there."

Robert smirked at Aaron once Chas was gone. "Should I have told her that you won't be around later?"

Aaron raised an eyebrow. "I won't?"

"Nope. Because as soon as the doctor gives you the all-clear, I'm stealing you away for the night."


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and here it is...the end. Which makes me a bit sad, I really enjoyed writing this as I knew this would probably be my last Robron fic.
> 
> Hope you enjoy :)

Aaron slid into a booth at the back of the pub - shoulder brace free - and tossed his jacket onto the empty space beside him. Much to Robert's dismay, they agreed to stop by the pub for one drink before heading to wherever Robert was taking them. Aaron had a sneaking suspicion that wherever they were going, there was going to a bed and a hell of a lot of alone time.

It had been six weeks of barely any touching or kissing thanks to the doctor's restrictions, but now that those had been lifted, Aaron planned for them to make up for lost time.

Sliding in beside him, Robert wore a scowl. 

"We'll just have one drink and I'll let my mum know how the doctor's appointment went, then we can go," Aaron said.

Robert thought about the small cabin he had booked for just the two of them, out in the wilderness, away from everyone and everything. They deserved it, Robert thought as he snagged the menu in the middle of the table and pretended to look through it. "One drink," he agreed, but he wasn't happy about it. He had made plans, and no one else was invited. He put the menu back down and tapped his fingers against the wood. "It better be quick though, we have somewhere to be."

"Impatient much?"

Robert ran a hand through his hair. "After six weeks of not being able to touch and kiss you like I want? You bet your ass I am." He'd been going out of his fucking mind for days, waiting for this day to finally come, and no one was going to keep them from having a night away - just the two of them - if he could help it.

"You make it hard to concentrate on anything else when you talk like that," Aaron said.

"I'm just getting started."

Aaron reached under the table and put his hand on Robert's jean-clad leg. "I can't wait to be alone with you, but I promised my mum I would stop by quickly. I promise we won't be here for more than ten minutes."

"Aaron. I'm glad you stopped by. How did it go?"

Aaron's focus moved from Robert and shifted to his mum beaming at him with a wide smile. He flexed his arms, then grinned. "The brace is gone. The doctor says everything is healing the way it should and it won't be long until I'm feeling one hundred percent."

Robert sat beside him patiently, running his hand further up Aaron's thigh under the table. Aaron's facial expression didn't change, though Robert felt the budge Aaron was trying to hide behind the denim.

"That's such good news, Luv," Chas said, pulling up a chair and parking herself at their table uninvited. "What can I get you guys to drink? I can get Marlon to fix you boys up something---"

"We can't stay long," Robert said. 

Chas knew what Robert was hinting at. "Right, you boys have plans then? At least have a drink, on me."

"Thanks, mum. A pint sounds good." Aaron looked at Robert and when he reluctantly nodded, Aaron looked back at Chas. "Make that two."

Chas looked over at Robert, whose attention was solely on Aaron. "You've taken good care of my son," she said, shocking the hell out of him. "Aaron has made it very clear that you're who he wants to be with, and I support his choice. And, if I'm being honest, you're not the worst choice he could have made."

"Thanks, I think," Robert said, trying not to laugh. They'd come a long way in six weeks. 

"Vic was by earlier, said she was having Aubree over for a sleepover."

"Yeah, Aaron and I are just going away for the night. I'll be going by there in the morning to pick her up. Aaron has a flight to London tomorrow night and I know Aubree would never forgive me if I didn't let her spend some time with Aaron before he leaves," Robert said.

"She's certainly taken a shine to you," Chas said to Aaron.

"And she's got Aaron wrapped around her finger," Robert said with a grin. "I think she could ask him to pull the moon from the sky and he would."

"She's your daughter, so...." Aaron trailed off with a shrug.

"How did I never see this before?" Chas said as she stood up to go get their drinks. "Looking at the two of you now, it's so obvious." 

Placing his arm around the back of the booth, Robert angled himself so he was looking at Aaron, whose face had turned a bright shade of red from his mum's observation. "Did what your mum say embarrass you?"

"No, I was just surprised to hear those words come out of her mouth," Aaron said.

"Hmm," Robert said. "Me too, but it was nice to hear that she doesn't think I'm the worst possible person for you."

"Well, my last relationship was with a married director, so it doesn't take much to impress her."

Chas came back to their table and placed the two beers in front of them. As Robert handed Aaron his glass, he made sure their fingers touched, and all of a sudden Robert found it difficult to pay attention to what Chas was rattling on about.

Aaron was nodding his head and cradling his beer between his hands, before lifting it to his lips. "I'll only be there a few days, then back here to get ready for the book release, then a book tour. After that, it will be back out to London in six weeks for the premiere." It was going to be a busy couple of months. He hadn't exactly planned on getting into a serious relationship, but then he had come back home and seen Robert and that's all it had taken for all of those old feelings to rush back. He wanted a future with his man, he wanted a family. For him, there was no other option. He didn't want anybody else. But he worried that Robert wouldn't be able to handle his lifestyle. He spent half of his life on the road and the other half in front of his computer. And there would be rumors, there would be cameras shoved in their faces, and there would be news articles, not all of them flattering. He needed to know that Robert would be okay with all of it, that he was all in like he was. 

"What are you thinking about?" Robert said after Chas left them alone.

They needed to have this conversation and lay all their cards out on the table. "You," Aaron said. "And me. How we're going to handle the long-distance thing when I have to go away. And being in the public eye. I just want to make sure you understand what you're getting into."

"I do," Robert said, reaching over and intertwining their fingers. "I'm proud of the name you've made for yourself, and I would never ask you to give any of that up for me. I know there will be times when you have to be away, and it doesn't bother me. Before we did anything though I wanted to make sure Aubree was going to be okay with me being in a relationship."

"You've talked to her about us?"

"Yeah, last night," Robert said. "I think she's almost happier than me about it." He grinned, bringing his glass to his lips before lowering it again. "She adores you, Aaron. And trust me, I had a long time to think this all through, and what it comes down to is I don't care how tough it's going to be sometimes. You're the only person I want to be with. Messed up with you, that's what I want, and that's what you said you wanted too."

"I do."

"Then finish your beer so we can get the hell out of here. I want you on your own."

* * *

As he was pushed roughly against the bricks behind them, and Aaron's leg moved between both of his as Aaron pressed his body close to his, Robert reached up and slid his hands into Aaron's hair. "I thought we would never get out of there." He lowered his head until their lips were only inches apart.

Aaron dropped his eyes to Robert's mouth, and let his hands drift to Robert's waist and down and anticipation of what was to come when they finally got out of here and to wherever Robert was taking them for the night skated up his spine. "I want you so bad."

As the last word slipped past his lips, Aaron's mouth was crushed in a fierce kiss that had his eyes sliding closed and his breath coming fast. Groaning into the parted mouth above his, he tried to get closer to the man currently obliterating every thought he had.

"Aaron," Robert sighed against his lips. "We need to get into the car, like now, before I take you right here."

Aaron smirked at him as he pulled away and stuffed his hands in the pockets of his jacket to keep from grabbing Robert again. "Somehow I don't think the entire village would appreciate the show."

"I've been waiting all day to take you away from here. Somewhere we can be alone, just the two of us. No interruptions."

Aaron's heart thundered as he thought of the implications behind Robert's words. "What are we waiting for then?"

Robert reached into his pocket for his keys and inclined his head where his car was parked. "Let's go."

* * *

It had all come rushing back, the feelings he'd long ago buried - or thought he had. He couldn't get out of his own head. The guilt. The betrayal. It all came rushing back on the screen. He wasn't sure he was ready for that, to face it. His biggest failures were staring at him right in the face, and in a few weeks, it would be out there for the world to see.

Aaron was smiling at their waitress as he handed his credit card over to pay for breakfast, oblivious to the thoughts going around like a merry-go-round in Robert's head.

"We should get back," he told Aaron abruptly. "You have to pack and I promised Aubree we would play Monopoly with her before you leave."

Aaron gave him a puzzled look, then he saw the article that had popped up on his phone. "Rob, I thought we were over this."

"We were. I mean, we are. Just seeing it there, it just reminds me of how I treated you, how I let the best thing that ever happened to me slip away." He shoved his phone back in his pocket. "It reminds me I chose the wrong person and ended up married to a psychopath who tried to kill me and ended up hurting the man I love." Robert could feel Aaron's gaze on him, but he couldn't meet Aaron's eyes, not when the guilt was eating him alive like this, threatening to destroy the little bit of happiness they found.

Robert was cutting through the parking lot, already halfway to where he had parked his car when Aaron finally caught up to him. Robert threw his leather jacket into the back seat and turned on the ignition. He gripped the steering wheel and just stared ahead, lost in his own thoughts.

_It shouldn't be this hard. We were past all of that. A fresh start, it's what we both promised each other. Yet our past is being dredged up again. This time for the whole world to see._

Aaron's hand froze on the door handle before he pulled the door open and climbed into the passenger seat. "Rob, talk to me. You can't just walk away when I'm talking to you."

"We're going to be late," Robert said, and put the car into reverse and drove out of the parking lot. _Maybe this was a mistake. If I can't get over the past, how can we make this work?_ He knew Aaron deserved an answer, but honestly, he didn't have a clue what was going on in his head. "Sorry," he said gruffly when he realized he wasn't acting rationally, that he was shutting Aaron out.

"Is this about the movie or something else?"

Robert looked over at Aaron then, an unreadable expression on his face. "I thought I was fine with it, but then this last month happened. I almost lost you, and it was because of me. The movie is just another reminder of how badly I screwed everything up, not just for myself, but for us. If I had just left you alone all those years ago, Chrissie never would have come after Aubree, she never would have tried to kill me."

"And you would have been stuck in a loveless marriage with a woman who still would have gone psycho. You can't blame yourself for what happened. None of it is your fault."

Except it was. He'd been the one to drive Aaron away. He'd ruined everything. He might as well as have been the one behind the wheel of Chrissie's car that night. "She hates me and while the feeling is mutual, I never would have wanted her dead."

He knew how this was going to end. He had loved Chrissie once, had even married her, but that marriage had ended after Chrissie had gotten pregnant. Or had it? Maybe their marriage had always been on shaky ground and he just didn't want to see it. He had gotten so good at pretending he was happy, that everything was fine when it wasn't.

And after their divorce, Robert had sworn off of women - and men, until Aaron came crashing back into his life, and he had thrown Aaron into his drama, and it had almost cost him his life. How could this end anyway but in a disaster? Aaron was better off without him. Aaron could have any man he wanted, he deserved someone that didn't have this much baggage. 

"It's not your fault," Aaron repeated, shifting in his seat and covering Robert's hand with his own.

Deep down Robert knew that, but it didn't stop the guilt. "I hurt you once and it made you leave the village. Then I came back into your life and you almost died because of me. I don't know if I can ever forgive myself for that."

"How many times do I have to tell you that none of this is your fault?"

The guilt was so loud, he could hear it pounding in his ears that he didn't hear Aaron talking to him and waving a hand in front of his face.

"Rob, are you listening?" When Robert didn't move or say a word, Aaron grabbed his face with both hands and crushed their lips together. "I'm not going anywhere. I see that look in your eyes, you're scared and you want to push me away. But this time, I'm not going to let you."

When Robert finally looked at him, there were tears glistening in his eyes. "Do you know what you're doing by getting involved with me? I'm not the easiest person to live with. And I have a child, Aaron. I have responsibilities. Are you sure you want to put up with all that?"

"Put up with all that? I adore Aubree. And if I'm being honest, she's just an added bonus. I want to be her dad too, Robert. If you want me to be."

"That's a big commitment. You know she's not always happy and bubbly. She's not exactly a ray of sunshine in the morning and though she can fool you, she can have tantrums from time to time and---"

"Sounds like she's a typical kid," Aaron said. "You honestly think that's going to scare me off?"

"Maybe," Robert admitted. 

"I want you," Aaron said. "All of you, and everything that comes with you. Nothing is going to scare me off. I love you, and whatever obstacles we face, we can face them together. But if you don't want this, if you don't want me, tell me now."

"Of course I want you, you idiot," Robert said, before he grabbed the back of Aaron's neck and lowered his head, and fitted his mouth on his, like it had always belonged there. The small part of his brain that could still function pulled back. "Thank you," he murmured.

"For what?"

"For never giving up on me, even when I push you away."

"Told you before, Sugden. You're not getting rid of me this time. This time it's forever."

 _Forever._ He loved the sound of that word on Aaron's tongue.

"Now that that's settled, let's get home. I have a flight to catch tonight and I would really like to spend some time with my boyfriend and his daughter before I have to leave."

* * *

_Six Weeks Later_

_Newly engaged best-selling author Aaron Dingle was on hand tonight in London at the movie premiere for Finding Your Echo, with his fiance, Robert Sugden by his side. We were first to break the news two weeks ago that the couple got engaged shortly after the release of his latest book, Beneath Your Shadows, where Aaron made a sweet dedication to his now fiance. In an interview just last week, Aaron announced that they plan to wed later this year following the official adoption of Robert's daughter, Aubree. Robert's ex-wife, and mother to his daughter, is currently serving an eight-year prison sentence for causing the crash that nearly took Aaron's life nearly two months ago._

"See, that wasn't so bad, was it?" Aaron said as they stumbled into their hotel room just past midnight.

"Did you see the way that reporter was checking you out?" Robert said as he tugged off his tie and threw it on the chair. He unbuttoned his cuffs and tugged his white dress shirt out of his pants. "He was practically drooling all over you."

Aaron's grinned, and his lips twitched in amusement as he reached for buttons of his shirt. It was rare for Robert to get jealous, but when he did, he looked like a caged lion ready to pounce on anyone that came near him. Aaron raised his left hand where a silver band shone on his finger. "The whole world knows I'm taken now. He was just being overly friendly."

"You could say that again," Robert muttered.

"You have nothing to be jealous about." Aaron caged Robert against the wall that separated the bedroom from the bathroom and encircled his waist before nuzzling into his neck. "Besides, did you see those shoes he was wearing?"

Robert barely contained a groan from escaping his lips as Aaron's fingers flirted with the hair at the back of his neck. He raised an eyebrow. "Were you checking him out?"

Aaron barked out a laugh. "No, I was just messing with you. I don't even know what the hell was on his feet, he could have been barefoot for all I know. How could I look at anything else with the sexiest guy in the room standing beside me? Trust me, you have nothing to worry about."

"No?"

"No," Aaron confirmed, his eyes dropping to Robert's mouth before licking his lips. "You don't." The ride back to their hotel in the limo had been an exercise in restraint for both of them. But now that they were alone, Aaron planned to take full advantage of it. Tomorrow they would fly home and see their daughter and get ready for the next wave of their busy careers and raising Aubree. Aaron couldn't wait to get home, but tonight, tonight was just about the two of them. There hadn't been enough time to enjoy each other the past few weeks with their hectic schedules, and he had been gone back and forth between Emmerdale and London so often he felt like he'd barely been home.

This was their life. This is what he wanted. Yeah, it wasn't always easy, but he had Robert and Aubree and that made it all worth it for him. After everything they'd been through, they were finally both where they belonged.

Robert angled his head towards the bed. "On the bed, Mr. Dingle." He was already unbuttoning his white dress shirt. He watched with hungry, desire-filled eyes as Aaron kicked off his shoes and unbuttoned his suit jacket. He watched as Aaron stretched out on the bed, one arm bent behind his head, the other resting on the tie still around the collar of his shirt. 

Robert's heart warmed at the sight in front of him. He would enjoy removing every item of clothing from Aaron's body, piece by piece.

"I can't wait to marry you," Aaron murmured when Robert knelt in front of him. "I can't wait to start our life together." 

"I can't wait to be your husband," Robert said as he reached over and unbuckled Aaron's belt before reaching up to brush a stray hair from Aaron's forehead. Aaron leaned into his touch, and his mouth curved into a sensual smile as they fell back onto the bed. The second Aaron's mouth connected with the warm skin of his neck, a moan escaped Robert's lips. "I've missed this. These last few weeks with you gone have been torture."

"Well," Aaron said, drawing the word out as he nipped at Robert's earlobe, "you've got me all to yourself for the rest of the night so..." He trailed off as his fingers flirted with the edge of the material of Robert's pants.

"I have you all to myself finally." Robert couldn't stop himself from stealing a kiss before sucking on Aaron's earlobe. "I'm going to mark you so everybody knows you're mine."

Aaron closed his eyes and felt the desire start to build slowly inside of him. "They already know. If they don't, they're fucking blind."

Robert leaned down to capture Aaron's lips with his. When he tore his mouth free, their eyes met again and Robert couldn't help but get lost in their depths. "Missed you so damn much," he whispered into Aaron's ear. " _Fiance_."

"Just so you know, I plan on putting my lips on every inch of you tonight," Aaron said as he trailed his lips down Robert's throat, marking Robert as _his._

Robert's eyes flicked to Aaron's mouth and swallowed. Aaron's breath was hot against his ear in a seductive caress, then he scraped his teeth along Robert's shoulder, a promise of what was coming next, which made Robert shudder. "How did I ever think I could live without you?"

"I don't know," Aaron said, flipping them over and sliding down Robert's body, "but you don't ever have to find out."


End file.
